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My advice to rarely spank means that spanking is a strong measure that should be reserved for overt rebellion, and even then, not as a first resort. Spanking is not wrong, but, imho, is more effective as a near-last resort--kinda like wars between nations.[/b]
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Like crying for no reason, the example of your own daughter you gave? Is this the overt rebellion you are talking about? That doesn't seem like an extreme behavior.