Originally Posted by Eowyn
Your philosophy sounds a little "boys will be boys", Windseeker.
From certain angles Charity can look like that.
No where do I condone the sin, and it is a sin. What ever fears the wife has about the husbands problem, I don't think she's alone, the husband in this case must share these same fears. Is he not concerned about his worthiness, about costing his family blessings, about the deeper sins this path can lead too and the threat of the destruction of his family?
Why does it cause him to be distant and moody? Not because he lacks concience I assure you.
The OP obviously loves her husband but the way of dealing with this is wearing her down and it's going to wear their marriage down. In this case the husband seems to be managing it but not overcoming it. Perhaps if she understood the problem better and could withdraw some of the proverbial fuel from the fire he might have an increased chance of gaining the upper hand.
...little insight, so you can consider the source (me) and disregard everything I've said
I struggled with this thru my whole mission. My Mission President was aware, I tried everthing I could to combat it. Despite this issue I was called to leadership positions in my mission where not only was I interviewing potential members but other missionarys regularly. I had to council others about this very thing while I struggled with it myself. I thought I could beat it, but never did. I was disappointed, depressed and on the verge of wanting to end my life that last week in the mission field. I felt my whole mission was pointless. My President, though disappointed I didn't prevail, reminded me of my success. Not only had I seen allot of baptisms but I was able to see several entire families join the church in a mission where that was almost unheard of. I am comforted to know that despite my struggle the Holy Ghost was there by my side. Now I'm sure I could have had even more success if I would have not had the struggle. There were times I did not feel the spriit, where I felt angry and ashamed. But I never gave up. How long shall rolling waters remain impure? When we have problems and habits like this we must move forward and keep at the fight.
Truth is, I continue to struggle with this on and off. It played it part in ruining my first marriage. I think in some ways it wore my wife out. She left me and our kids. Riotous living...kind of an understatement. I was forgiving but in the end she couldn't forgive herself. She called me up years later and in tears told me my struggle was to blame. I don't think it needed to be that way. She allowed all the good things to be overshadowed, drowned out by this thing. I'm not a bad person. I consider myself kind of a catch despite my struggle.
I've seen those that struggle in later years with this issue and I'm determined not to be like that. I don't want to lose the love and respect of my wife, my children and grandchildren. I hate the problem and have made great progress. I've been told the same thing by many respected Priesthood leaders, that if you keep up the fight it will become easier with age. I've found this to be true. I'm confident one day I will be totally free.