Whether you should tell your wife or not; I think the answer is in you. It is good that you stopped it and you feel better. But something is still bugging you; something that will not allow you to let it go. If you are honest with how you feel, you will make the right decision. I'm not telling you what the right decision is, though I personally agree with the consensus here.
However, if the right answer is to tell your wife, then perhaps this thread would be better titled, "How do I tell my wife and keep my marriage?" Perhaps people can give their opinions as to the best way to handle the situation so that in the end, the family is strengthened instead of torn apart. Perhaps the wives here could have useful advice. If this happened to you, how would you want your husband to come clean? What would you want him to do to make amends; to show you that he really loves you and is committed to the family?
My advice, which is only my opinion and not complete, is that it is time to find that sex appeal you had for your wife before. To find what it was about her that kept you so faithful to her before. It has been my experience that if that appeal has been lost, it wasn't a result of your spouse changing, but rather you. And it is your choice to find that kind of love again for your spouse. (I'm not speaking to you robbie specifically here.)
(But now I am.) This is a generic way of saying this, but it is time to be that perfect husband. Not the one that does everything right by other's standards, but the one that is perfect to your wife. The one she dreamed about marrying in the first place. The one that makes her feel like she is the most important person in your life. The one that when other women see how you treat your wife, they grow jealous and wish their husbands would do the same. Each woman is different in how they like to be shown love, so I can't tell you exactly what I think you should do. And absolutely women and men differ here. Men know how they want to be loved. Women know how they want to be loved. But often I see men showing love to their wives the way that the men want to be loved. I see the same to be true to women. Show your wife love the way SHE wants to be loved. Only you know what that is, and if you don't, it is time to learn. I think that is also the best way to be a father to your children as well.
I'm speaking a little in fantasy here, I know. After 10 years of marriage, I hope I will be just as crazy about my wife as I am now. I'm not there yet, so it devalues my advice a little. But do I think it is possible? Absolutely yes.
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