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I am fine about suffering for it. What about my children? Should they suffer for it?
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Maybe you should have thought about your children BEFORE you kissed another woman! I don't mean to come off so harsh, but you were aware of how your wife felt before you did it, so why are you trying to use the kids as an excuse to not tell her now.
Obviously you feel bad about it and it sounds like you truly want to make things right, but you have to remember that while you use your own free agency to do wrong, you don't get to choose the consequence, but you still have to live with it.
If you are truly as concerned with how this will affect your relationship with your wife (and children) as you would have us believe, then you will do what ever it takes to make it right.
Best wishes to you in your endeavor to fix this.