Not happy in my marriage - Page 3

Jenamarie · #21 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misshalfway

With Satan working so hard against marriage and such variety in family systems and expectations arising from such, I wish there was more in the way of marriage prep in the church. We create MTC's and classes to prepare for missionary service, why not marriage pre-camp or something? We learn languages in a matter of weeks! Why not learn the language of marriage and communication too? If eternal marriage is so important, why isn't there more preparation? I know that program....stay morally clean and temple worthy and all will be well. But for many it doesn't turn out so rosy. Many couples find themselves in such difficult circumstances with money or addiction or lack of healthy communication. I think we need to prepare our youth for the institution of marriage. I think their is so much more to consider than just a temple recommend and RM status and fun personality when choosing a mate. And even though two people are in love they may not have the skills to maintain that love. I know we are told that if we are living the gospel, our marriages will be happy. And that I believe is true. But there is a lot of gospel truth in pre-marriage therapy and I think something like this should be available for everyone who wants to get married.

My ward is having "Family Relations" classes during the Sunday School hour of church. It's a 6-week class that you sign up for, but our Bishop said he will "sign you up" if you don't do it yourself.

DH and I also went to a Temple Marriage Prep. class at our college Institute (granted, this was in Utah, so it was a very large Institute program). I wish it were more Church-wide. It was an awesome class.

RadioactiveWolfboy · #22 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008, 08:40 PM

My ex wife left me because I was having problems and going through life changes. We just weren't getting along. I told her I was going through some hard times and we just needed to work things out. She left anyway. I got it together and really dug into the Gospel. I am a new man now and married to a wonderful woman who supports me in every way......even when I have down times. My ex is now regretting having left me and likes who I have become. Too late for that relationship though. What I am trying to say is take a real good look at things before you leave or think about leaving. The 2 of you might be able to repair things. Looking at his point of view is a very good thing. My ex failed to look at things from my perspective. I am not the man she seemed to think I would be. Pray together, spend time together, talk to each other, read the scriptures together, find out what he needs, dreams, etc... Don't give up yet. Oh ..and most important of all...if you are Temple goers, Go..together. It really does make a difference.

Rich

ruthiechan · #23 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starfish

Has your husband been checked for depression? Possibly he needs professional help. Something to think about.

Best wishes.

There could be other things besides depression. Often ADD is misdiagnosed as depression (which is cause which is effect). The symptoms in brain disorders such as these can be similar, but the root cause makes a difference in successful treatment.

Hemidakota · #24 (**permalink**) 06-03-2008, 08:02 AM

Rich, thanks for sharing your life experiences.

fish4kitty · #25 (**permalink**) 06-03-2008, 07:13 PM

7 year itch can be tricky. My wife and I went through a rough patch about the same time. We still go to counseling just to make sure we are still on the same page. I'm going to add that our roads we are travelling sometimes have different directions but one destination in mind. Sometimes it's good to just make sure we are headed in the same direction.

jjrogers · #26 (**permalink**) 06-04-2008, 07:33 AM

You say you couldn't handle living in his country, but you are angry that he is not handling living in your country. Obvously he is not happy living in your country. Also, are you choosing your family over your husband? Does he feel like you are? As much as our parents and siblings can be great, it isn't loyal to choose them over your husband and can be very damaging to a marriage if it is happening.

LegendadryPerc · #27 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008, 04:40 AM

Marriage isn't the happiest thing in the world because you are married to the most wonderfull person in the world who does everything perfect. Happiness is love, service, sacrifice, giving your all. Marriage is the happiest thing in the world because of the opportunity for sevice, because you love someone unconditionally. Ironically, when one realizes this is what true love and happily ever after are, the person one married seems to be the most wonderfull person in the world, despite it being irrelivent.