Frustrated with my husband's situation.

[cgrantreed]

I'm on the bus:-) I agree with the comments made but wish to add a few more cents to the pot of gold...

Do not go to the Temple without your husband initially. Why? Because you two need to experience this together, not seperately. Being as I have come that long hard road like he is, I think I would have been a little resentful if my wife had said " I am going to the Temple and when you are ready, we can go and then be sealed" which sounds (no matter how you say it) like "when you get off your butt and get back to the proper life, I will be waiting for you in my more Celestial lifestyle". I know that you would never say that but instead of pulling away from the pack, be part of it in this case and influence from within. He needs your support, not frustration, and any actions that put you on a perceived higher plain will serve to only hurt his progress. You both need to go and see the Bishop and talk to him together about your husbands plan of progress. I am assuming that you know all the details of his past indiscretions and so its not secrets revealed to you. You two can then set goals together of how to get to the end result of being temple married. Work with him in setting the goals necessary to achieve his return and NEVER allow frustration to be a factor. God will wait forever for him if he is trying... pattern your life after that example. Don't take it to extremes but I am sure you understand what I am getting at. Dedication is the key. He needs to start attending Elders Quorum. Its a good environment for learning that stuff that is necessary for married life. That is where he belongs.

And for him... pass this message on to him for me...

Brother,
You don't know me from Adam, and vice versa. I understand that and knowing that I have no idea what exactly it is that you are dealing with in your life (not that its that important that I know) understand one thing... its so important that you find your connection with Heavenly Fathers plan and have a relationship with Him that you need to throw away all the stops and work diligently towards it. Your family is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD!!!!! Your path back to full activity in the church could be rough but its so going to be worth it. I have walked your path. I don't care what it is that you are fighting against... I have fought it too.... drugs, alcohol, sex, ego, whatever, been there, done that. I have had and lost a great family because I let Satan push me down the easy path. Start now to build a rock solid foundation in the gospel, at all costs, and fight with all your might to keep it on the straight and narrow once you get it there. You will find great joy in this.

It sounds like you are one lucky man. Your wife seems genuinely concerned for you and she seems to be willing to do anything to help you find your potential in the light of Christ. Keep the faith Brother. Know that you are not alone. Know that you have within you the strength to fix any wrong that you may have committed in your past and Christ has the power to wipe that slate clean for you if you wish it to be so. Humble yourself before God and fight like a man... on your knees before Him. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Repentance is so worth it, even if its humiliating and painful to you... get 'er done.

Love from a Brother
Grant

[hordak]

WOW. Like looking in a mirror. This is pretty close to my own story. Here is my 2 cents.
Nothing wrong with going to elders quorum. I attend until getting a calling to teach and still only hold the Aaronic Priesthood. Melchizedek Priesthood ordination comes at stake conference if i remember right so it could only happen April or Oct. I think it usually takes a year to show your ready(don't quote me) for the responsibility.
Don't go to the Temple without him. I to couldn't baptize my wife or bless my children but have "caught up" so to speak and will be able to go to the Temple with my wife (baptisms) and it is a pretty big deal after missing everything else.

[LegendadryPerc]

When recieving revelation, we are to study it out in our minds. This also applies to the bishop. If he wants a calling, or to be an elder, whatever, make the bishop aware of it, so the bishop can pray about it and get revelation on that subject. The bishop shouldn't be expected to just have a thought pop into his head about somebody he isn't even thinking about. Talk to him. Let him know your frustrations. Was there sin or disfellowship involved? (I don't want yo to answer that question - just saying it would be different if so) If it is just becoming active again, then these things shouldn't be a problem at all. Ya, have him go to whatever meeting he wants. Even non-members are welcome at these meetings. Let your home teachers and bishop know what is going on. Let them know your feelings. Work closely with them (if you aren't already). Sometimes talking to the stake president helps - I have found comfort and insight into situations by doing this. The members of the church, and leaders are human. Don't let yourselves fall through the cracks simply because of the human characteristics of the leaders. They simply may not be aware of your specific situation or your feelings about it. Good luck!
What a wonderfull story about your baptism and him coming back to church!

[RachelleDrew]

Originally Posted by LegendadryPerc

When recieving revelation, we are to study it out in our minds. This also applies to the bishop. If he wants a calling, or to be an elder, whatever, make the bishop aware of it, so the bishop can pray about it and get revelation on that subject. The bishop shouldn't be expected to just have a thought pop into his head about somebody he isn't even thinking about. Talk to him. Let him know your frustrations. Was there sin or disfellowship involved? (I don't want yo to answer that question - just saying it would be different if so) If it is just becoming active again, then these things shouldn't be a problem at all. Ya, have him go to whatever meeting he wants. Even non-members are welcome at these meetings. Let your home teachers and bishop know what is going on. Let them know your feelings. Work closely with them (if you aren't already). Sometimes talking to the stake president helps - I have found comfort and insight into situations by doing this. The members of the church, and leaders are human. Don't let yourselves fall through the cracks simply because of the human characteristics of the leaders. They simply may not be aware of your specific situation or your feelings about it. Good luck!
What a wonderfull story about your baptism and him coming back to church!

He more or less left the church just because he left his parents. It didn't have anything to do with church discipline or anything. He just got lazy when he left his parent's home more or less.

He certainly sinned during his leave from the church. We became pregnant before we were married, so that's the main thing. But sexual sin was the only thing I can think of that he's had a problem with since leaving, and that's obviously absolved itself now that we are married and have repented (when we found out we were pregnant we actually began living separately until we were married.) The birth of our son Eli only further prompted his return and my joining the church.

I thank everyone for their responses. We are going to set up a meeting with our bishop next week for a chat.

[MorningStar]

I think it's a very personal decision whether you wait or not. If a couple attends the temple and one becomes unworthy and loses their recommend, it is hard on the one who can't go but still good for the one who can attend. A sister I knew waited years and years for her husband to get to the temple, but then she finally decided to go without him because she needed those blessings.

[lilered]

I would suggest that you have a talk with your BIshop about this. He certaintly can if he is worthy, perform the baptism as well as he can be a Home Teaching companion. If he were assigned to a strong loving Sr. Companion, I am betting he would benefit greatly from the expierence. he also could bless and pass the Sacrement if he is a Priest.

[nephite1978]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but can't Priests perform baptisms? I know that a guy in my ward baptised his little sister (she was adamant about it) when he was a Priest. So, short of worthiness issues, why can't the husband do it? I understand the blessing part, as it's a Priesthood (Melchezidik) part, but that's it

[skalenfehl]

Yes, a Priest holds the Aaronic Priesthood after the order of Aaron, just as John the Baptist did, and has the authority to baptize.

[breezygirl]

Dont have a thing to add about the church stuff but wanted to say that you sound like a really good wife. Your sensitive and loving and encouraging. You and your husband are lucky to have each other and I know that it will work out in time.