I Need Help

Brittlynn · #1 (**permalink**) 07-04-2008, 03:38 AM

im starting to go down the wrong path again with my friends and i seem to never be able to stand up to them.... do you think its because i enjoy it or because im a coward?

pam · #2 (**permalink**) 07-04-2008, 03:40 AM

Like I tell my own teenagers. The typical mom answer I suppose. If they are taking you down the wrong path and you KNOW they are....they obviously are not "friends."

susieSA · #3 (**permalink**) 07-04-2008, 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brittlynn

im starting to go down the wrong path again with my friends and i seem to never be able to stand up to them.... do you think its because i enjoy it or because im a coward?

I think it could be because you are scared of loosing those "friends"...

Do you have others who would respect you enough not to want to take you down the wrong path?

Jbs2763 · #4 (**permalink**) 07-04-2008, 05:53 AM

when i got back on the wagon..i had to cut bait with all of the realtionships that involved drugs/booze and other sillyness

MarginOfError · #5 (**permalink**) 07-04-2008, 05:56 AM

Quote:

do you think its because i enjoy it or because im a coward?

In all honesty, yes on both counts. But this doesn't mean that I think any less of you. If you knew much about my adolesence you'd have enough black mail material to finance your retirement.

I think that Susie might have a point, perhaps you're afraid to lose yoru friends. I'm willing to bet that you could stand up for what you believe without losing them.

When I was in high school, my friends would regularly get together and drink. The drinking thing was one thing that I absolutely would not do. One day, I was joking aroudn with them that I was going to have a drink, and they stopped laughing and said they would never allow that to happen. Sure, they made fun of me for not drinking, but that's who I was, so they wanted to always make fun of me for not drinking.

As for it being fun....sin wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't fun!

Misshalfway · #6 (**permalink**) 07-04-2008, 08:55 AM

I think that when you stand strong in your own self and your own values, you will find out who your real friends are.

I had a group of wonderful friends in high school. I had loads of fun when I was with them but they didn't always share my values....and some of them were LDS which made it more complicated. They knew what activities I would object too, and sadly I wasn't invited to hang out with them sometimes. But, in the end, I was true to my values and that made all the difference. I don't know if they respected that or not. Most of the time it felt like they just didn't want the guilt I brought by not following. It wasn't always easy, but I am glad I didn't compromise....even if it meant that I was included more.

Later, when I entered college I was able to meet so many who weren't bothered in the least by my values. I had much more fun and rarely worried that I needed to compromise to make friends.

Islander · #7 (**permalink**) 07-04-2008, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brittlynn

im starting to go down the wrong path again with my friends and i seem to never be able to stand up to them.... do you think its because i enjoy it or because im a coward?

ALL behavior, absolutely everything we do in the natural world is driven by either desire or fear. Thus the natural man is an enemy to God and has been from the beginning, like the scripture says.

Here is where your desire to please God, follow his commandments and honor the priesthood has to be greater than your desire to feel connected, laugh and enjoy and roam in the company of these (friends) people that give you a false sense of belonging and connection. You must over come your fear of being alone, lost/disoriented, different or even rejected. At the core of hanging out with people that are not good people, and you know it, is the fact that you have not visualized yourself NOT hanging with them. You have developed a warped sense of self, so you see yourself different from the "good kids" so you opt for the bad ones.

You have to be honest with yourself and face your fears. If you don't, at this ,point your life will continue in its current path and you already know where it is going. Truth is hard as a rock, difficult to swallow and ugly in its face, at times, but the freedom from sin is provided by God therein. Be valiant and seek to do God's will and not your will. Seek help from those around you that love you and that are already concerned about you and have faith. All will turn out OK my young friend.

MorningStar · #8 (**permalink**) 07-04-2008, 12:03 PM

I had all kinds of friends growing up, but the ones I spent time with outside of school were the ones who stood up for my beliefs. My friend rented a Rated R movie one time and my friend Jessica said, "She can't watch that! Take it back!" I think a few of them amongst themselves would drink sometimes, but they never invited me or told me about it because they thought it would bother me. They also never talked about how far they had taken things with their boyfriends or girlfriends, but I think they weren't the type to kiss and tell anyway. I'm seeing my best friends from highschool tomorrow!

I graduated over 10 years ago and we still get together. It's been so fun watching each other grow into careers, marriage, motherhood, etc.

I suggest inviting your friends to do something good with you.

Be a leader, not a follower.

deydream · #9 (**permalink**) 07-07-2008, 04:37 PM

I agree, be a leader, not a follower. If the activities are leading you away, invite them to your activities. The decisions you make now, will effect you for the rest of your life. Peer pressure doesn't just stop when you are an adult. I still have in-laws that pressure me to watch rated R movies. But I decided long ago that I didn't want to do that.

Make your decisions now and stick to them. The more you stand up for yourself, the stronger you will become and the easier it will be. Some of your friends may even respect you. If you lose a couple of friends over it, that just leaves room for new friendships to come.

You will be blessed for making the right decisions. They aren't always easy, but they are always worth it.

Jason76 · #10 (**permalink**) 07-07-2008, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brittlynn

im starting to go down the wrong path again with my friends and i seem to never be able to stand up to them.... do you think its because i enjoy it or because im a coward?

Both. True friends won't try to pressure you to do things you don't want to do. If they are doing this they aren't friends. We should also find friends who share common values. If they don't share your values they aren't your friends. Perhaps it's time to leave those friends behind and find friends who will uplift and inspire you. Character is built by doing what's right in all circumstances.