When to see my bishop

[chocolatefan]

I have a BF who is a non member and we have been dating for almost 8 months. I am 18 and used to have a very very strong testimony in the church. I miss having it in my life. I am scheduled to see my bishop for an annual interview on sunday but I don't know if I want to tell him about my bf and I. The two of us haven't had sex... but we kiss on top of each other and stuff. I tell my BF that i have mixed feelings about it becuase of the church, but he tell me to think for myself.. when should I tell my bishop? my boyfriend is leaving in a month for college i think it would be easier if i just waited until after he leaves.

do you think i'm worthy to go to the temple? my friends are coming to pick me up right now....

[utcowboy]

If you feel guilty enough to not want to talk to your bishop then I think you have already answered your own question. From a male point of view your bf wants one thing and one thing only, and he will tell you whatever you want to hear to get what he wants. Stay true, you know what is right for you, be strong..... we are here to help as much as you'll allow..

[utcowboy]

By the way, welcome to the boards, there are a lot of great people here. I hope you find what you are looking for

[Islander]

Originally Posted by chocolatefan

I have a BF who is a non member and we have been dating for almost 8 months. I am 18 and used to have a very very strong testimony in the church. I miss having it in my life. I am scheduled to see my bishop for an annual interview on sunday but I don't know if I want to tell him about my bf and I. The two of us haven't had sex... but we kiss on top of each other and stuff. I tell my BF that i have mixed feelings about it becuase of the church, but he tell me to think for myself.. when should I tell my bishop? my boyfriend is leaving in a month for college i think it would be easier if i just waited until after he leaves.

do you think i'm worthy to go to the temple? my friends are coming to pick me up right now....

Sad and difficult as the truth may be, ignoring it would be dangerous and foolish. You already know that what you are doing si wrong. Fear is what separates girls from women. I think you engage in sexual behavior because you are afraid that he will have nothing to do with you and your fantasy would be done. I think that the minute we succumb to sin for fear of the alternative we allowed the enemy to have power over us.

You seem to be weak currently and thus you could be in great danger. I suggest to address this issue with your bishop before it is too late and not worry much about this guy. Worry about your future and the consequences for a mistake at this junction.

[Loudmouth_Mormon]

Here's a link to the Church's For the Strength of Youth publication - I wholeheartedly recommend everyone read it - especially 18 yr old ladies with boyfriends.

Especially page 26 and 27.

LM

[VisionOfLehi]

Originally Posted by chocolatefan

I have a BF who is a non member and we have been dating for almost 8 months. I am 18 and used to have a very very strong testimony in the church. I miss having it in my life. I am scheduled to see my bishop for an annual interview on sunday but I don't know if I want to tell him about my bf and I. The two of us haven't had sex... but we kiss on top of each other and stuff. I tell my BF that i have mixed feelings about it becuase of the church, but he tell me to think for myself.. when should I tell my bishop? my boyfriend is leaving in a month for college i think it would be easier if i just waited until after he leaves.

I never went to the Bishop, and I should have. Same sort of situation. So, been there, done that.

It was essentially the cause of a lot of problems in that old relationship, and outside of it as well.

I should have gone, at least for counsel. Repentance was probably more difficult without his help.

It's so easy to keep doing it once you start. Even though you two are somewhat reluctant (and so were we) there was still the "well, we've already..." and "it's not that bad" attitude that stopped us from stopping.

And Islander, to shift blame entirely from girls, my ex-gf was just as often the one who'd initiate. And I must say, when I eventually learned about what it said it the For Strength of Youth I was like "Oh crap, and... DUH, I should've know that anyway, what was I thinking?"


Bishop or not, you need to stop now. I can tell you that it causes harm. Relationship-wise and more importantly, spirit-wise.

[HskrVern]

9 years ago my wife was in your shoes, but her b/f was a Navy Recruit headed off to basic training and she was headed to a small college in centeral utah. She wasn't as strong as she should have been and I wasn't a member then either, I got what I wanted and she got pregnant. I had to save up to fly her to my school in Pensacola, Fl and we married in the courthouse without our parents blessings. I know things turned out ok in my case (8 years married and 4 kids) but I know she has thoughts of what could have been. Please take time and really think about the big picture and whats in the future and remember that there are somethings you can't ever take back.

[Hemidakota]

Originally Posted by chocolatefan

I have a BF who is a non member and we have been dating for almost 8 months. I am 18 and used to have a very very strong testimony in the church. I miss having it in my life. I am scheduled to see my bishop for an annual interview on sunday but I don't know if I want to tell him about my bf and I. The two of us haven't had sex... but we kiss on top of each other and stuff. I tell my BF that i have mixed feelings about it because of the church, but he tell me to think for myself.. when should I tell my bishop? my boyfriend is leaving in a month for college i think it would be easier if i just waited until after he leaves.

do you think i'm worthy to go to the temple? my friends are coming to pick me up right now....

Any swapping of spit [kissing] is in danger of greater sins. For men, it introduces the raging hormones that some cannot contain. President Spencer W. Kimball talked at length on this subject of a simple kiss that leads to other drives between two perfect couple.

If you feel the weight of the Spirit, then confide with your Bishop.

Sister, are you considering a mission call?

[Canuck Mormon]

Originally Posted by utcowboy

From a male point of view your bf wants one thing and one thing only, and he will tell you whatever you want to hear to get what he wants.

This is so true. He will say anything and everything to try and get what he wants. Been there, done that. This seems especially true if he's going away to college.

TALK TO YOUR BISHOP!!!!!!!!!

[RachelleDrew]

Your own heart can answer these questions better than we can. I think you already know the answers to your questions..

I was always told that anything I didn't WANT to tell my Bishop about, was probably the first thing I SHOULD tell my bishop about. : D I always thought that was appropriate. If you are ashamed, nervous or scared about telling your bishop about these activities then that's a good sign that your conscience is nagging at you to shape up.

As for the temple, it's the same thing. If you think you might not be worthy for the temple, then you might not be.

You may also want to consider dating somebody with the same values as yourself. Yes, some people date outside of their faith and although they face challenges have wonderful relationships. But not everyone can manage juggling an inter-faith relationship with remaining grounded in their beliefs. If you feel like dating him has pulled you away from your testimony then perhaps dating outside of the LDS realm is not for you.

Good luck, I understand where you are coming from and it's not easy. But you certainly can turn away from temptation if your will is strong enough and you lean on the Spirit instead of your loins. :P