"It'll be okay." Fine. When?

[DigitalShadow]

Originally Posted by VisionOfLehi

Ah, the problem with all those good things is that I don't deserve them and I feel like crap for having them

What makes you think you don't deserve them? What makes one person more deserving of good things than another? We are all given what we are given, and if I'm not mistaken, you believe that God has a reason for it, right? If so, how can you be any more or less deserving of what you have? Are you saying God is wrong in what He has given you?

[skalenfehl]

VOL, here's another one for you:

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."

I'm still going through trials in my life that haven't let up since I was much younger than you. You learn a lot about yourself by how you endure your trials and how close you come to the Lord by forging a relationship with Him because of all your tribulations. They just don't go away, especially if you count yourself as one of the Lord's valiant children. Just keep your chin up and laugh through the storms. Trust me. You'll catch a break soon enough to relax and catch your breath. That's when you get ready for the next one, buddy.

[WANDERER]

I used to subscribe to "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Time and experience have taught me that this is not always true...adversity is adversity...no point in glossying it up as a useful and beneficial experience that will build character (though it can and it sure helps with developing empathy...but... sometimes it does neither). However, when you do look back on those periods in your life that weren't so great or aren't so great that was and is the best you could do at the time in dealing with them. We all try to make lemons into lemonade. There's no point in beating yourself up over adversity. Your value is not in the sum of good or bad experiences you have in life..they aren't doled out according to your worth.
I never really understood this until a school assembly where the chaplain put this ten dollar note through all sorts of things...stomped on it and put it through a whole heap of abuses..hundreds and hundreds of children saying yep I still want it, falling over themselves and semi-rioting......I have no doubt God sees the value in everyone with just as much enthusiasm as those kids screaming their heads off that they'd take that ten dollars off her hands....yep, even for those that have been scruffed up a little.

[VisionOfLehi]

Originally Posted by DigitalShadow

What makes you think you don't deserve them? What makes one person more deserving of good things than another? We are all given what we are given, and if I'm not mistaken, you believe that God has a reason for it, right? If so, how can you be any more or less deserving of what you have? Are you saying God is wrong in what He has given you?

I don't deserve anything that He's given me. That's the point. He does it anyway.



Sorry for not responding to all these posts. I am reading them, and I'm not just thinking of counter-arguments to them all. I appreciate the efforts and advice.


It's hard to see beyond the trend of things getting worse and worse each time they happen. Meds take effect, I go into an "up cycle" but then it heads down hill and I always seem to get closer to the edge each time before it picks up again.

I'm just afraid one of these times it'll be too close.

[StrawberryFields]

Here is another one. "When times get tough and you are out on a rope, tie a knot and HANG ON".

Pray for answers.
Know you are Loved.
Take a walk in nature.
Listen to good music
Call someone to cheer them up even if you don't feel like it.
Lose yourself in service.

VOL, I don't have all of the answers and I am also trying to apply these things after 5 LONG Years of one trial after the next. HE is here for us and HE understands look to him for the answers and let us support you through your trials. After my many years I have come to know that their are not many if any who don't suffer to some degree.

I appreciate you as a friend and I have seen you shine. Take each day just one at a time and set small mini goals, write them down and then cross them off. To know that you are doing something to help the process will give you a little sense of peace. After you have done all that you can give it to HIM.

I Love You (((((Vision))))).

[DigitalShadow]

Originally Posted by VisionOfLehi

I don't deserve anything that He's given me. That's the point. He does it anyway.

My point was that if God gave you everything (both good and bad) for a reason, there is no point in anguishing in how you don't deserve the good or how bad the bad is. Make the best of your situation, because that's really all anyone can do.

I've been down the road of deep depression before. I can't say it is easy, but it is possible to get out of it. I've been pretty much depression free for years now, and most people would even describe me as happy

[skalenfehl]

I hope I didn't cheapen anyone's experiences with my previous post. I agree that our value isn't the sum of good or bad experiences. I do believe, however, that how we deal with those good or bad experiences is what builds our character and our relationship with God. Consider D&C 122 when the Lord spoke to Joseph Smith while a prisoner in Liberty, Missouri.

D&C122

1 The ends of the earth shall inquire after thy name, and fools shall have thee in derision, and hell shall rage against thee;
2 While the pure in heart, and the wise, and the noble, and the virtuous, shall seek counsel, and authority, and blessings constantly from under thy hand.
3 And thy people shall never be turned against thee by the testimony of traitors.
4 And although their influence shall cast thee into trouble, and into bars and walls, thou shalt be had in honor; and but for a small moment and thy voice shall be more terrible in the midst of thine enemies than the fierce lion, because of thy righteousness; and thy God shall stand by thee forever and ever.
5 If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea;
6 If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb;
7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
8 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?
9 Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

Best wishes.

[ztodd]

Originally Posted by VisionOfLehi

I've heard this so many times in the past several years.

Every time I go through a difficult time... People tell me:

"It'll be okay."
"It'll all work out."
"This'll go away."

Well, when?

God won't give me more than I can endure, but He's cutting it close.

You want to know when? I can't tell you for sure. It could be as soon as tomorrow, or it might be years down the road.

I just hope and pray that you can keep your faith and trust in the Lord that He loves you and is watching over you right now and always... always a part of your life, guiding it according to His plan to bring you back to Him. Of that you can be absolutely certain.

If you don't feel that, pray for it and seek for it. I tell you that I know that it is true.

[funkymonkey]

Hi VOL.
I have been watching this thread for a while now, and I so feel for you, but I am thankful that you were strong enough to ask this question. I relate to your concerns right now, and I also thank all of those who have added little excerpts of encouragement.

I have been left chronically ill for a year now, from West Nile Virus. I am now a slave to a sick, weak body; my life as I knew it is completely gone. So at the age of 27 I am living the life of an 80 year old who is just waiting to die. Nobody has any answers as to when it will be over, no doctors, no religious figures, nobody knows anything about this disease.
I have been pushed to the brink over and over again (and what I thought was beyond the brink). I have thought for months on end that I can't go on like this, in pain and too sick to sleep or even feed myself every day. I have spent countless days and nights on my knees pleading with God to make it easier, to bless me with health, to give me something to help me along the way. I have tested my faith in ways I never thought, and yet I still feel spiritually abandoned and left to deal with this on my own...at a time when I need my Lord the most.
And, like you, I ask when will this get better, or easier, or when any relief will come. I don't have any answers, and have a lot more questions now about the ways of God than I did a year ago.

While I still have many many questions...Here are a couple tiny things that have helped me get through the day, and sometimes the hour. Different things help at different times...

1 - A general authority guy once said that God doesn't give you trials but rather he lets them happen. I am not being punished, nor do I deserve this...it simply just happened to me.

2 - God will not swoop down and make my problems go away. In order to see any progress in my condition (both mentally and physically, and as small as the progress may be) I must do most of the work on my own. I must do my part and work to find the tools to make my situation better. It's much like school...if I do nothing, I'll get an F; if I work hard, I might get a B or and A.

Alma 36: 25 "Yea, and now behold, O my son, the Lord doth give me exceedingly great joy in the fruit of my labors;"
(His love and wisdom is eternal but how are we truly going to find it without doing the work and struggling ourselves?)

3 - If we seek him out, he can give us hugs every now and then; and we can work to accept our situation...

Alma 36: 20 "And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!"
21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.

Since I have started to try to accept my trials, dealing with them have been easier. (I really only started doing this in the past week) I pray that my trials will add depth to my soul and help me build strength. Because of my trials, I hope to someday taste of even sweeter joy, and have a greater appreciation for the Lord's guidance in my life.

4 - (this one probably a ton of people will not like)...When the deep despair of depresson start to grab hold and all I can think about is how I'm not going to get better so I might as well "end it". I try to immediately stop those feelings and tell myself that I'm not going to let the adversary have that kind of control over me and I take control of my mind. When that doesn't work, I just start thinking of less extreme ways to "escape" my situation, like fanticizing about getting drunk or eating a ton of ice cream. Never done it, but I figure that's a better thing to tempt myself with than just being done with life.

5 - Throw out the guilt. I'm not perfect, but neither is anyone else. Someone once told me that women tend to think they are worse than they really are, and men tend to think they're better than they really are. (I think there might be some truth to that) I am doing the best I can with my situation, some days are better than others...and struggling and stumbling is a part of my life and for the moment. I'm going to be OK with my imperfections and focus on one small thing at a time.

6 - For me, this struggle is long and many times unbearable. But I can find peace sometimes in the scriptures and then write things down about them and my situation...

2 Ne. 31: 16, 20
"Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. "

If you're anything like me, the same strategy or method doesn't work all the time, so I am always looking for new ideas. But maybe something from my very personal "arsenal" may help someone else here.

God bless.

[skippy740]

Originally Posted by skalenfehl

[color="Blue"]know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

I've always hated that scripture. It just sounds so "parent-like"!

Yeah, THANKS DAD! Just what I've always wanted... MORE EXPERIENCE!

Doesn't that experience equate to a shorter life span?


VisionofLehi,
If you're really feeling down, there are two movies you ought to check out:
- Pursuit of Happyness
- Bruce Almighty

Pursuit of Happyness just shows how far one can REALLY go on route to their dreams.

Bruce Almighty is just a funny comedy about how well Bruce can clean up his life if he had God's powers endowed upon him. You'll find a connection with the beginning of the movie - trust me!

Better watch Bruce Almighty FIRST before watching Pursuit of Happyness.