A difficult ex, the sequel

[unixknight]

This is directly relating to the thread under 'Parenting' but because it's no longer limited just to the kids I felt it might be more appropriate moved to here.

As I noted in the other thread, my 3 older kids live with my ex 90% of the time with them coming to stay with me every other weekend and during the summer we have weeks together here and there. She's gone inactive in order to please her new boyfriend and ceased to wear her garments (to what end I can easily conclude but I try not to spend time thinking about it) and yes, the kids are aware of this and the fact that he spends weekends at their home.

Now, I've pretty well got a handle on how to talk with the kids about this but with her recent hostile comments about the church, especially about the fact that the Bishop spoke to her in his office and he knows what's going on (offering her a chance to confess which she declined).

I have a new concern, and I don't know what will happen next. Given that her Bishop knows what she's been doing and given that he gave her a chance to confess it which she refused, is it likely or possible that he will call a Disciplinary Council?

I've been the subject of a Disciplinary Council myself and one thing I learned is that it can be a very positive and helpful experience, IF you go into it humbly and with a positive attitude. If/when it happens she'll probably call me for advice since I've been there, and my answer will be that she needs to take a big bite of humble pie and like it. I can almost guarantee that my ex will not do so, and it is my guess that the result would therefore be excommunication. If that happens, she won't come back.

(I don't KNOW that, but I'm guessing. )

So now I need to decide what, if anything, I should do. We're still sealed in the Temple (for now, anyway) and I feel some measure of responsibility. But I do know that I wi ll obviously have to tell the kids SOMETHING if it happens.

1)I have an appointment with my Bishop on Sunday to talk about other stuff. Should I bring this up?
2)What do I tell my kids if the worst happens?
3)Is there anything I can do to help? (Other than prayer, which I will do)

Thanks.

[Iggy]

unixknight,
I think this is where you need to read up on Agency and consequences from the choices we make, and don't make.

Discuss this with your Bishop, in detail - take notes if necessary.

My sister-in-law divorced my little brother. The why's and wherefores really don't matter here. He was not upholding his husbandly/ fatherly/priesthood duties. (during the marriage and after the marriage).

One thing that my sister-in-law stressed to their 4 children was that no matter what Dad did or didn't do he was still Dad, they were to love him unconditionally because he is a Child of God. Dad does some wrong things and Dad will suffer the consequences of his actions and inactions. It is not up to any human to judge him. Only Jesus Christ and God can judge Dad. Dad isn't to judge himself either. She told the children that they don't have to like the wrong things that he does, but they do have to love him. They are to respect him for the good things he does and says.

My little brother finally got back on the right path, and he has a loving and good relationship with his children. What really warms my heart is when he takes the kids and the kids' Mom to the Temple and they all do Baptisms for the Dead.

As for your ex, what ever happens to her regarding the Church and her sealing, you may just have to ask the Bishop that one. If he doesn't know, then ask the Stake President, or the Temple President.