How Do You Get The Feelings Back?

[Ray]

Originally posted by jules@ Sep 29 2004, 08:45 PM
I have been inactive for 10 yrs and my husband too I am a convert he was raised in the church. I am afraid my daughter is going to marry in the temple and we won't be able to go. That is not the right reason to go back I tried at the first of the year it lasted 4 weeks. I just did not feel the strong desire or the spirit. We live the word of wisdom and we don't do bad things except not pay our tithing . Any advice is appreciated
jules

Jules,
Has your daughter set a date for getting married in the temple? Will it be happening soon, or are you only considering the idea that you may not be able to attend should she ever decide to marry her husband in the temple?

If your daughter is ready to get married now, but she would be willing to wait a year before getting married, you may go to the temple and see your daughter get married. That choice would then be open to you, based on her willingness to set a date when you would be able to attend and your willingness to do what you need to do to be able to go. You should not make her feel that she should wait until you can go to the temple before she can get married, however, because you do not have the right to make her feel that she must wait for you before she can live her life. You have the right to make your choices, but you do not have the right to determine the consequences of your choices. If your choices have not prepared you to be able to enter the temple at this time then you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Btw, the Bridegroom can come at any time, and those who are not ready to meet the Bridegroom at his coming will not be ready to enjoy the wedding. We should not expect the Bridegroom to wait for us.

[Ray]

Btw, which feelings are you trying to get back?
If you want to feel guilty, consider your condition as a result of your own choices. If you have only made good choices or have repented for your bad choices, insomuch that you are no longer making those same choices, then it will be very difficult for you to have any feelings of guilt, so you might want to give up on that and try something else. If you’ve made some bad choices, however, and know that you have not been forgiven for having made those choices, then the feelings of guilt will come back to you as soon as you start thinking about what a mess you have gotten yourself into.

I recommend that you try to avoid feeling guilty though, except to the extent that those feelings help you, and instead concentrate on trying to feel the love that Jesus has for you. You can get that by considering all that Jesus has done and is willing to do to help you, knowing that He will forgive you and help you as soon as you decide to come back to Him.

And btw, I testify that the more you consider the love of Jesus, the stronger will be your feelings of Jesus love for you. It is that simple.

[SouthernBelle]

hi... I am new to this site but I wanted to tell you my story... I was inactive for many years. I knew everything I did was wrong but I didn't know how to leave the world I had created for myself. I tried to go for my parents but the feeling and the desire wasn't there! It took two life changing events to get me to see that what I was doing was not only unrighteous but unhealthy also. And with those it put the desire back in my heart! I understand seeing your daughters wedding is important. And if that is the reason you use to get worthy to be in the temple again. Then use it as your crutch. But pray for the desire not only to obtain the recommend but to keep it! I know paying thithing is not something fun to do and people say you will be blessed when you pay just remember those blessing my not come right away they might not even come in this life! I ended up cutting ties with everyone I knew to get to where I am today. I moved 3000 miles away to get away from the temptations I had. I know there is nothing that servere that you need to do but you may need to get ride of some habit that is not bad but it is not that good either. (if that made sense). It didn't help me to start small I had to do a huge life change but it may help you to start small! And I recently recieved my temple recommend again!

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[Lindy]

I agree that you must decide what you want for yourself....spiritually.
If she want's to marry in the temple....that is what she wants to do for herself....spiritually
If you are not there, then just be happy for her, support her decision if it is what she wants to do.


Back to a question..... of desire? I found that reading "Miracle of Forgiveness" helped me out a lot..... it helped pave the path to a deeper understanding and help guide me to the inner peace I needed back in my life. I didn't like the "inactive" feeling, I wanted to feel the way I had before....it took time and tears, and a lot of forgiving.... (myself included)....

Of course scriptures and prayers helped out too.

UNO ( :P ) had a good thought....a legal ceremony where everyone can attend, and then a Temple wedding.
I know that sometimes a nice reception for a Temple wedding is far better than a regular marriage ceremony is anyway.

[Ray]

Why can't her daughter just have a nice little legal wedding somewhere for the non-LDS family, and then follow it up with a temple marriage later?

She does have that choice, so the question then becomes why her daughter would want that, or how her daughter would feel about that?

For some women, a “regular” wedding ceremony is something they’ve always dreamed about since they were girls. They dream of the big white wedding dress, bridesmaids, and a procession down the center aisle of a big beautiful church building with traditional music playing while tons of people on both sides of the aisle cry their hearts out. And then after the wedding, they dream of running back down the aisle while everybody throws rice at them, just before throwing a bouquet of flowers to someone and riding off in a big limousine into the sunset. For them, that is their dream, because that is the best kind of wedding ceremony they can imagine.

For other women, a “temple” wedding ceremony is something they’ve always dreamed about since they were girls. They may dream about some of the same elements in a “regular” wedding ceremony, but the thing that makes the biggest difference is that they are getting married in a temple instead of simply a big beautiful church building. And the reason that makes such a big difference is because they understand and accept the temple as a more sacred building, a place where people can be bound together as husband and wife forever. In a “regular” church building they can’t get that, no matter how big and beautiful the church building might be, because that ordinance is only performed in a temple.

With that understanding, why would a woman who wants a “temple” wedding decide that she also wants a “regular” wedding? What would be the point of it, or in other words, how much would she truly be able to enjoy her “regular” wedding knowing that she is not getting what she truly wants her wedding to be?

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[Ray]

If I had grown up always wanting a “temple” wedding, or if I had only later discovered what a “temple” wedding was all about (which was my case), I would feel as if I were putting on an act or a show for someone else if I went through with a “regular” wedding. My heart just wouldn’t be in it. And although you might think it’s a good thing for children to put on a show for their parents, I think a man and woman should get married only because they love each other enough to spend the rest of their lives together. Not just til death, but forever.

BUT, I would go through with a “regular” wedding if for some reason that is all that I could do at the moment that my future wife and I decided to get married. I wouldn’t “wait” for a “temple” wedding for any other reason.

[Lindy]

Well Ray, I know of some girls who love their non LDS parents and friends enough that they want to share the special joy of a civil wedding with them (this does not take away the special joy or love of a temple wedding).

[gimpandproudofit]

doesn't the church somewhere say that if you get married first with a civil marriage, you have to wait a year before you can get married in the temple? (except for a few states in which that is required....)