My little brother is gay!

RainofGold · #1 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 09:57 PM

connerific · #2 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 10:19 PM

His behavior would be no better if it was a girlfriend he was moving in with, IMO. It is still a sin to have sexual relations outside of marriage. That's really all i have to offer as i have no experience with homosexuality, thank goodness.

skippy740 · #3 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 10:36 PM

Hate the sin, love the sinner.

I wouldn't "banish" him from your home, but I wouldn't welcome his lifestyle either. Just because someone starts smoking doesn't mean they can do it in MY home.

I wouldn't welcome his "boyfriend" in your home, but your brother should be welcome at anytime.

It's your home and YOUR rules. If he doesn't accept those rules, then HE would have made a choice to sever his relationship with you, UNTIL he decides that he can abide by your rules.

Remember that we will be judged by how we treat others - and that INCLUDES family.

FunkyTown · #4 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 11:33 PM

Okay, so he made a decision that he was going to be openly gay. It's not your decision. It will -not- turn your children gay. It will -not- destroy the sanctity of marriage in their minds.

I want you to consider this: Talk to any guy and say to him, "Hey - If you were told 'By the way, these feelings you have for women? You'll never be able to fulfill them. Ever. Lock them up tight because you will never be able to kiss or hold one. You will never have one lie in your arms. It's all a pipe dream". See if they would be strong enough to stick with it.

If they're honest, they'd have to say they wouldn't know. As it is, it's hard for many to even wait for -marriage- let alone ignore it their whole life. Imagine what he's going through, having been told that. Love him. It doesn't excuse the actions, but you can't throw that in his face all the time and still love him because you were never tempted by this sin.

StallionMcBeastly · #5 (**permalink**) 08-01-2008, 12:55 AM

Just show him love no matter what. There are programs to try to overcome homosexuality, if he would be at all interested.

I don't believe he will be going to hell either.

MarginOfError · #6 (**permalink**) 08-01-2008, 01:38 AM

At least try to remember that he's a regular person like you. Being homosexual doesn't change the fact that a person has emotions, feelings, dreams, and hopes.

Liesl · #7 (**permalink**) 08-01-2008, 03:46 AM

Something that needs to be taken into consideration is that everyone is dealing with this in their own way, and feel the need to protect themselves for fear of it rubbing off onto them. Truth is everyone is in a mourning process, the loss of a brother to be a man, a father, a husband, priesthood holder...etc, those expectations are now no more. For some, therapy to deal with this is a good idea. We also need to be able to put ourselves in someone elses shoes..... has anyone considered the 'hell' he has gone through trying to deal with this on his own for how many years? I feel for him. And no your children won't be contaminated, but speak to them openly as you see fit, they're going to come across is sometime in their lives.... this is now a difficult teachin oppertunity. And perhaps if you do invite them over for dinner... when you're ready to... just ask them not to show it in your home.
I'm in the dancing world, my partner is gay, my best friend is gay, I'm surrounded by them..... My cousin always said... we can giggle together, but you touch me, you dead.....
Give yourself time... and a chance, when it comes to the crunch, if you need his help, he will be there as much as you would for him...
Good luck

IntoGod33 · #8 (**permalink**) 08-01-2008, 08:37 AM

Hi RainofGold,

I know exactly how you feel. My older brother is also gay and openly lives that lifestyle. I am the only member of this church in my family, but they are all devoted Catholics. I know it must be really hard to accept his lifestyle. It was hard for me at first (for all of us), but the bottom line is that he is my brother and my love for him is infinite. Heavenly Father put him in my life and in my family for a reason - because He knew that my brother would be loved unconditionally.

I can understand why some people would not want him and his partner in their home, but I can't do that either. My brother is always welcome. It's so funny how Heavenly father works...when I was being taught by the missionaries, I asked them about how the church deals with homosexuals, and one of the missionary told me that 3 out of 6 of his brothers was gay. I was so taken aback by this! I asked him waht his parents thought and how they handled it, and he just said, "We just have to love them."

I believe that it takes more strength, courage, and Spirit to love someone despite their weaknesses than to just turn your back on them because they've strayed from the path. Just love him, and help him in any way you can. Do your best, and the rest is up to him.

Much love and peace to you and your family.

IntoGod33 · #9 (**permalink**) 08-01-2008, 09:53 AM

It is really hard, especially if you yourself have a strong testimony. We know that their lifestyles are contrary to what the Scriptures teach. My brother has never been religious, so I can imagine why your situation is so much harder. Your brother served a mission! You must feel disappointed. I can't promise you that it will get easy....it's always going to be hard because you want the best for him. I talked to a friend in my church about this. You see, my brother is a beautiful person. He is honest, and loving, and so selfless it amazes me sometimes. He is truly my bestfriend and a blessing in my life. I honestly wouldn't change him for anything in the world. I still had this fear, however, that my brother was going to Hell or some other horrible place. This friend just told me, "How do you think Jesus would greet him?" All I know is that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us so much that we can never understand that love because it is too great. I know that although they do not approve of his lifestyle, they love him nonetheless. Shouldn't we do the same?

Hang in there RainofGold....have faith and just LOVE!

breeb · #10 (**permalink**) 08-01-2008, 10:41 AM

It is our purpose in life to become more like Christ. Christ loves everyone, and I dont think its Christ like to not allow your brother AND his boyfriend around, BUT, and this is a huge but, they need to respect you and your family. They need to understand why it would be uncomfortable to have them in your home. Both sides will need to bend a little. If he's not willing to follow any rules you have, like no PDA with his boyfriend, then I wouldnt allow him around. My little brother lived with us and the rules were no girls over night, no smoking and no alcohol. Well he broke everyone of the rules and I gave him a week to be out. It was hard but I didnt want that around my kids. He had his chance. I didnt care what he did outside of my house (it hurt to see him go so far from the church but no matter what anyone says he still makes his choices), but the minute he brought it in was a different story.