help/advice wanted

liangkai · #1 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 03:11 AM

I'm engaged, getting married in a few weeks. I was overseas for a few months, and while away i did something i wish i didnt. its often referred to as "IT". im afraid that its serious enough to keep me out of the temple! however I realized my sin, and made sure i changed my attitude and actions. I haven't done it again, i dont dare to. i love my fiance too much, i want to do the right thing. However, im a bit afraid of the interview coming up with the bishop when getting a living ordinance recommend. if i've stopped and feel i've repented, will they realize that? will they still let me have a recommend and marry my love on the day we've set? or will they impose punishment for my sin by not giving me a recommend?

rampion · #2 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 04:01 AM

"They" might have you wait for a time before going to the temple. All is not lost. You can still have a temple marriage and all of the blessings that come with it, but it may not be when you expected it to be, and the road in front of you may be rocky. IMO, it is worth it to be honest now and follow your bishop's advice, rather than compounding the problem and creating a rockier road for yourself later on.

liangkai · #3 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 04:17 AM

That's one result I want to avoid. Everything is planned and paid for already. It was an isolated incident. Do you think they still would make me wait longer? it happened a month or two ago.

prisonchaplain · #4 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 04:20 AM

Liangkai, I'm not LDS, but we claim to worship the same God--a God who calls upon us to submit to authorities in the Church. So, what if they do tell you to wait? Will you? Will you obey? Would you allow inconvenience and expense (no small matters, to be sure) to keep you from obeying God? Forgiveness does not always come absent consequences. This may be a true trial of your love for God. I pray that you will find within yourself the strength to say yes to God, and to ask Him to help you with the consequences.

Even if you dodge this particular matter, it would do us all well to meditate on how much we would be willing to give up or endure for God.

OneEternalSonata · #5 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 05:22 AM

I had those same kind of thoughts concerning receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood and I finally decided I needed to be honest and that there was no other faithful choice for me. Also, serious sins must be confessed to the Bishop, otherwise you have not fully repented, even though you've been valiant in not repeating your mistake. I learned this the hard way on other occasions. For the Priesthood there is a pretty clear scripture which ultimately served as a rebuke to soften my heart. Speaking of the priesthood, it states:

"That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man."

If you were to take out the word priesthood and replace it with "blessings" the scripture could be likened unto you this way. "Amen to the blessings of the temple and the ratifying power of the Holy Ghost for that man." You'd be robbing the one you love. If a covenant is entered into under false pretenses the seal, or ratifying power, of the Holy Ghost will not be there.

I know it is tough but it is better to bring sin into the light; a true sign of repentance. The fact that it shakes you up in such a manner seems to indicate the maturity you have in realizing the severity of your actions, which is good. I know you want the blessings of the temple and that they are precious to you, don't let the influence of Satan lull you into losing such a blessing. You have my love and admiration as your brother in Christ for desiring to do what's right and posting here, may you be always steadfast and true.

EDIT: Noticed a mistake I made, sorry about that.

tomk · #6 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by liangkai

I'm engaged, getting married in a few weeks. I was overseas for a few months, and while away i did something i wish i didnt. its often referred to as "IT". im afraid that its serious enough to keep me out of the temple! however I realized my sin, and made sure i changed my attitude and actions. I haven't done it again, i dont dare to. i love my fiance too much, i want to do the right thing. However, im a bit afraid of the interview coming up with the bishop when getting a living ordinance recommend. if i've stopped and feel i've repented, will they realize that? will they still let me have a recommend and marry my love on the day we've set? or will they impose punishment for my sin by not giving me a recommend?

You need to make a full confession as soon as possible...to your bishop, to your fiance, to God.

If not, you will have regrets for the rest of your life, and will marry your fiance based upon a lie.

MichaelPAGuy · #7 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 04:17 PM

Is this something you want to keep hidden, where in the future maybe your fiance could find out. It's best to get it out in the open now, deal with it and let the cards fall where they will. You will be a much better person for it.

RainofGold · #8 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 04:22 PM

My sister went through the same thing and she had to confess to her fiance andt to her bishop and she had to wait six months before she was able to get married. I sure is different for each person but a few weeks sounds to soon to me...
My sister also waited until she was found worthy to enter the temple instead of just having a regular wedding and getting sealed later. It was worth it.

Gwen · #9 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 04:46 PM

forgive my bluntness here.....but, i think i might be more worried about the wrath of my fiance for having cheated than what the bishop will say..... may not matter if they don't let you get a temple recommend....may not need one......

MarginOfError · #10 (**permalink**) 08-31-2008, 05:18 PM

First of all, have you told your fiance? If you haven't told her, then you have no business getting married anyway.

Second, you need to tell your bishop. I have my doubts that an 'isolated overseas' incident can be so lightly waived when it's been described as the worst sin except for denying the Holy Ghost and murder.

You'll have to tolerate my bluntness, but if you really think that you can move past this without speaking to those two people, I'd get the impression that you're not really worried about repentance as much as you are worried about not getting caught.