I want to go to Church, but I do not believe! Help!

norawhitman · #1 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 05:17 PM

Hi!

Ny name is Nora, I am a convert to the church of (officially) 8 years, though I have not been active for the past 2 or 3.

I was very excited about the church. I love the structure. I love the institution as a whole (I even went to and graduated from BYU), but I have come to learn that that is what I believe in- the institution and the goodness of some people. I do not believe in much of the doctrine, or even the plan of salvation anymore.

I love church, and I love to go to church. I really want to go to relief society and Sunday School because I enjoy spending time with other intelligent moral people. However I feel like that perhaps that is hypocritical- to go to church for the social benefits.

What is your (anyones) advice/thoughts?

Thank you-
Nora

prisonchaplain · #2 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 05:31 PM

There are many social benefit clubs filled with "good, intelligent, moral" people. And yet, I've been told that LDS culture is very strong, and there is a community feeling that few other groups can match. Still...if it was me, I'd do some serious soul-searching, and if I simply could not believe, then I'd probably have to look elsewhere. After all, the coming together centers on folk being "of like precious faith."

norawhitman · #3 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 05:34 PM

...that I have looked into other churches. A lot of them. Nice people a lot of time, but still I don't believe the same things.

When I do find a group of people who think the way I do, sadly enough there tends to be a lot of immorality and lower standards. Obviously this will not always be the case, and perhaps I should look harder. But I love the people the LDS church helps to produce, I just can't give my soul to something that is not right for it anymore.

So any help you have would be great.

Is it wrong to go just to socialize, discuss, and learn?

tomk · #4 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by norawhitman

Hi!

Ny name is Nora, I am a convert to the church of (officially) 8 years, though I have not been active for the past 2 or 3.

I was very excited about the church. I love the structure. I love the institution as a whole (I even went to and graduated from BYU), but I have come to learn that that is what I believe in- the institution and the goodness of some people. I do not believe in much of the doctrine, or even the plan of salvation anymore.

I love church, and I love to go to church. I really want to go to relief society and Sunday School because I enjoy spending time with other intelligent moral people. However I feel like that perhaps that is hypocritical- to go to church for the social benefits.

What is your (anyones) advice/thoughts?

Thank you-
Nora

My gut response is -- go anyway.

It certainly cannot do you any HARM going to Church, even if you do not inwardly feel like you believe it.

The Lord is willing to work with whatever degree of willingness we have.

I hope your concerns are addressed. Let us know if we can clarify anything for you. Some folks leave the Church for reasons that, tragically, have no grounds as far as the actual gospel of Jesus Christ is concerned. They leave for the wrong reasons.

If you have doubts...faith can be strengthened!!

Stay close to your Savior. Let Him lead you and guide you.

prisonchaplain · #5 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by norawhitman

Is it wrong to go just to socialize, discuss, and learn?

That is a good part of why I am here. However, the folk here either know this, or quickly learn it. My page lists my profession (clergy), my avatar demonstrates my non-LDS attire, and my posts freely include my Protestant, evangelical, pentecostal, non-LDS theological leanings. And...I get on rather well.

The difference is...people know that I'm not LDS. There's no hiding, no avoiding certain topics...just polite, thoughful discourse, and even some humor and fun. Can you do that? Can you go to church and all those meetings, and be open about what you believe and don't believe? If not, I'm wondering if the experience will produce more stress than social benefit. It's a matter you'll ultimately have to decide, though.

BTW, if some of those churches that are closer to your beliefs seem to have more immorality, it may simply mean that they are willing to reach out and care for "weaker bretheren." You might get along fine, if you're a little less analytical about the moral standing of others.

countrygirl66 · #6 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 10:12 PM

Hi I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for most of my life. It hasn't always been easy. I love the gospel and know it is true. I have a 15 year old son that isn't sure. I know that he will have to find his own testimony and it will come about in the way best for him. One thing that I try to remind him of is that you don't have to beleive right now you don't even have to have faith you only have to start with a hope of faith. My suggestion is go and enjoy the people and the spirit there. You will know what is right for you. Hope is the key to all good things in life.

FunkyTown · #7 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 10:47 PM

I... Have to agree with PrisonChaplain on this one. I think you need to identify why you don't believe and what you like about the church. You -have- to be true to what you believe. I can promise you I believe. If you were struggling with belief, I would say go. If you were trying to find truth, I would say go. But it sounds like you have decided it -isn't- true and nothing that is said will change your mind.

What you're suggesting is that it doesn't matter if something is true or not so long as you're content. That's simply not true. Here's a litmus test for people who say that the only thing that's important is personal happiness:

"Hey, Bob."
"Hey, Joe. How's your daughter?"
"Oh, she's good, Bob. I love her so much, I only want her to be happy. That's why I bought a lifetime supply of opium and am mainlining it for her so she never has to think, she will never have to feel pain. Just a never-ending, unthinking bliss."

Were you filled with horror at that? Most people are. The reason they are is that we instinctively -know- we were meant for more than pleasure. Parents let their kids go to school, knowing that they will skin their knees and have fights with friends and cry when they break up with the one they think they're in love with when they're thirteen. They know that the child must grow and develop, to be better, to face pain even though it doesn't give them immediate joy. You know in your heart that's the truth. Act on it.

christmasvalleyfarms · #8 (**permalink**) 09-05-2008, 11:18 PM

I would suggest you (re?)read Alma's discourse on faith. Have you ever really read the Book of Mormon? Faith really is like that seed. It doesn't grow if you don't feed it, cultivate it, water it.... The care and feeding of a testimony is really cultivating a relationship - with your Heavenly Father and your Savior. That takes some time and discipline and commitment - and the good old "Sunday School answers" of regular prayer, searching the scriptures, trying to live as the Savior did, loving others as He did.... but I can testify that the rewards of that investment are priceless and eternal. If the plant doesn't grow, it doesn't mean that the seed was not good. All I can tell you is I have tried his experiment, for 38 years - it's not always easy, often humbling, at times painful - but I wouldn't trade it for anything else, social or whatever, that the world can offer.

Sure, you can continue to hang out at the banquet as long as you like and enjoy the smells coming from the kitchen, as it were - that doesn't make you a hypocrite. But how sad if you don't really get to sit down and feast!! I hope and pray that you can find a way to enjoy all the blessings within the gospel that the Lord wants you to have and that He paid such a terrible and beautiful price to offer to you.

tubaloth · #9 (**permalink**) 09-06-2008, 01:01 AM

Are you really sure its the people? Have you tried going to other LDS churchs, ones that you don't know anybody at. I'm kind of wondering if a small part of this, is the spirit you feel each sunday. The spirit is something that just makes us be more happy. You feel that when you are around the truth being taught (and when you grow to love those you are around). I'm saying your good feeling is all the spirit, I'm sure there are other factors. But I do think this is part of what you are feeling!

So you have completly turned the other way to Joseph Smith, The Book of Mormon? Restored Church? Modern Prophets?

RainofGold · #10 (**permalink**) 09-06-2008, 01:30 AM

As a convert myself I had some of the feelings you are having now. When we joined the church I was only 15 years old. I liked the church members, the missionaries were nice and cute, but I didn't really have a testimony of the church, Book of Mormon, or Joseph Smith.

But the feeling that I had every Sunday when I went to church I didn't feel it anywhere else. So I kept going, received church callings, read the scriptures and very slowly started gaining my own testimony. It took me many years to have my own testimony of the gospel, it doesn't necessarily happens when we are baptized, and is different for everyone. I am glad that I stayed, and I hope that the feeling that you have right now keeps you going back. You have nothing to lose but a lot to gain.

Raiofgold: