Belief Issues

[Moksha]

Daenvgiell, have you had a change in appetite, sleep and weight loss or gain that has accompanied this feeling of being adrift spiritually? I ask because sometimes depression can manifest itself that way.

It is perfectly normal for people your age to question their beliefs. I am just wondering if something else, such as depression, mighy be going on as well.

[daenvgiell]

it is possible that depression is setting in, I don't know, I put on weight at the beginning of the year and I haven't been able to get it off. I also didn't sleep well for awhile although that seems to have improved a bit since then. Not really a change in appetite, I love my food.

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

It is a fact that as you get older your adolescent metabolism that allows you to eat an entire pizza with no significant weight change will slow down. For men it happens around 24 give or take a few years and with woman it is around 20, again giving or taking a few years.

Just a little tid bit for you daenvgiell

Hence the reason why my old YM president came back looking like a balloon.

Don't worry though, from your picture you look fine, great even!

[daenvgiell]

thats because you can't see the lower half of me, and its not great when I'm a dancer. I'll never even have a chance of getting into a ballet company if I can't lose the weight

[StallionMcBeastly]

It says in the scriptures that you will not receive a witness until the trial of your faith.
I say keep pushing on and desire to believe, even if you can't fully right now. Your witness will come.

Try to think back to things you learned in church or elsewhere that really strengthened your testimony. Ponder these things, they will help you regain your testimony.

Anytime I have any doubts I think back to Joseph Smith, a man with only a third grade education, and the near impossibility of the Book of Mormon being anything other than being inspired by God.

Hope things get better for you :-)

[Moksha]

Daenvgiell from what you have said, it would be worthwhile to chat with one of the campus psychologists about the possibility of depression. If you are depressed, treatment can help get you back on track.

[drjme]

Hi Daenvgiell,

I have to take a different approach here and say, Don't just 'keep doing what you are doing' and hope it will work out. There is a saying, 'the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result'.
I had a problem a while ago where I got into some bad patterns and associations with my beliefs. I felt that I was always stuffing up spiritually and the guilt would just kill me, to the point that it drove me away from church for a while (not beliefs wise I still completely believed, I just needed time to clear my head and realise where these feelings were coming from and why I was experienceng them). Once I dealt with them I felt free to move forward and do my best without beating myself up with guilt and shame for things I did that weren't up to my standards (we all stuff up after all). I got quite depressed and experienced the feelings of ‘I’m doing the things I’m supposed to, but I still don’t feel anything.’
I was doing all the 'stuff' that you say you were doing, but I had lost that personal connection to Christ because of all the 'doing'. I think they were refered to as 'religious hobbies' by Joseph F. Smith and we are warned against them. Doing things for the sake of doing them solves no issue, they just cover up what is underneath, you need to have the right heart in doing those activities for you to benefit from them (I’m not saying not to do them, I’m just saying what you may need, could be beyond just doing those activities, if they lack meaning to you at the moment)
You have to find out What The Gospel means to you personally, Find Christ and what He done for you and make it personal, Find ways that you can celebrate God that create an emotional connection to Him. Find your own personal Relationship with Him, and then, also 'Do the things you are doing'. It is a relationship that constantly needs to be worked on, because as we change our needs and perceptions change.
For me I started writing to get feelings out, I listened to more uplifting worship music. I watched the passion of the Christ which absolutely broke my heart and helped me appreciate Christ even more personally, I prayed many times a day even when It didn’t feel like anyone was listening. Here are a couple of poems I wrote that helped me to understand how I was feeling and get it out:

When you feel alone, like no one is there
If the world -for you- doesn’t have a care
Like you’re twisting and turning, being led down
Chained and yoked, pulled by wrists bound
There is time you’ll take to become free through love
A quiet whisper in your heart, a sweet word to above
An Infinite mercy that ‘I’ care beyond words
A quiet reassurance you will always be heard.
Never turn your back, never give up the fight,
You will fall, ‘I’ will catch you I will be your light,
To help you to guide you never lead you astray
One day to come home, Forever to stay.

Here is another:

Lord, we send praises, to You on high
So far beyond us, Too holy to see.
Yet you came down amongst us so humble with love,
To teach us to guide us to reach for above
How could you have done this? It doesn’t seem fair,
That One so Glorious, our Heavy burdens should bear.
I can’t comprehend how you were treated this way:
Rebellious and sinful, Contempt and hate.
These things you withstood for us, so that we may be saved,
I yearn to comprehend your sacrifice each day.
To hold it, to cherish it, to relieve me from pain,
To clutch it so tightly, never waste it in vain.

Many times he has changed me, when I was in my hardest trials, It was at the end of myself, the very end, But I was always ready and waiting for his help, He has always stepped in and taken over, but every time it took something more, above and beyond, what I was 'doing' to get me through and out the otherside. Hope this helps in some way

[tomk]

Originally Posted by daenvgiell

thats because you can't see the lower half of me, and its not great when I'm a dancer. I'll never even have a chance of getting into a ballet company if I can't lose the weight

I don't know about how ballet works...but I've seen pictures of you dancing (shared on your Profile - Gallery) and you are far from needing to LOSE any weight, in my opinion!

[RainofGold]

Footprints in the Sand


One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson
__________________

[Islander]

Originally Posted by daenvgiell

thats because you can't see the lower half of me, and its not great when I'm a dancer. I'll never even have a chance of getting into a ballet company if I can't lose the weight

Sister I hope that thru prayer and faith you can overcome this emotional low and regain your footing.

I hear the anxiety and despair in your posts. I understand how frustrating it must be to feel that goals and life's objectives slip away because of circumstances that appear out of our control or at least out of reach. It would be important for you to remember that God has a plan for you. It is paramount that you can understand and align your will with that of our Father in Heaven. I don't know if your future includes a carrier in this field as a performer, but do you? Our drives and desires, at times, are not necessarily part of God's plan for our lives.

I suggest the challenges that we face become a struggle because we lack the insight to overcome them. Once we gain it they no longer hinder us. I seems that you need to bring this issue to the Lord and hope to develop a clear understanding of your situation. I hope that clarity will reach you as the answers flow and your future comes into focus.

Do not despair. Be patient and all will be well.