Belief Issues

[daenvgiell]

I used to think I had a testimony of the church, but now I'm not so sure. I have moved away from home, living on the other side of the country so that I can study at a university. It is a Private Christian College and I thought being here would be great, I am ejoying my dancing, but my beliefs are dying. I don't know what it is. Some days I even think how can there even be anyone up there at all. I don't know why this is happening, I don't know how else to explain it. I read the scriptures more than when I was back home, I still go to church every week, I completed my YW booklet and got my necklace, completed Seminary... and none of it has seemed to make a difference. I feel so lost right now. I pray morning and night, but I don't know if I can feel the spirit, don't know if I ever have and I just feel like crying every time I think about it. So I am lost, not sure if someone is up there some days, not sure if the church and its teachings are true, sick and tired of struggling and crying all the time, wondering if I have the strength to keep going.

So now that I have said all that, do you possibly think there is any hope for me at all, and what I can do to hopefully get the testimony I want. I so want to believe it all, but I'm just not getting it. I really need some help, anything will be appreciated!

[Palerider]

There is alot of hope for you....Perhaps you feel the spirit and just don't recognize it. Not sure what you do ...but.....get involved in something at church...help out...look for ways to get involved.

[a-train]

You are being tried in the fire. Don't worry. Continue to do those things you know are right and the LORD will uphold you. Perhaps there are things in your mind that need to be purged. Perhaps that is the work at hand.

-a-train

[tomk]

You sound a bit homesick, and I just don't mean for earthly family.

Sometimes, in His wisdom, the Lord will allow us to "hunger and thirst" a bit. This way our true mettle and true desires are allowed to come-out!! And once they are revealed, He can bless us and teach us. He can only work with us according to our desire for good. So -- seek Him! Go to Him with these things! Record in your journal the counsel He gives you, then ask for His grace to help you carry out His will.

Study the scriptures with a question. Study them while you are "hungry" for that connection with God.

Even the Savior of mankind felt alone and abandoned for a season. But He never was, not really. It only seemed that way. He understands how tough it can be. He stands ready to help and comfort you. This is a great opportunity for you to draw closer to your Savior!

Follow the promptings of the Spirit.



Tom

[countrygirl66]

hi sorry your struggling with your faith right now.
I would say to you hold on, keep doing what you are and it will come. There was a really tough time in my life when i was a kid that all i could hold onto were the teachings. I didn't think i was being helped or that god could hear me. I later realized that i was in so much pain and distress that i couldn't recognize how he was there for me. I am forever grateful that i held on because it kept my life in order so when i was in a better place there was nothing that had to be repaired before i could move forward. I might also share and experience, my 15 year old son is not sure if the church is true or if joseph smith was a prophet, he hates seminary right now and in general has an attitude. He gets pretty grumpy over the whole church thing right now. What i see is an opportunity for him to really question and gain his own testimony. I have told him often that he has to attend seminary and other church programs because he can't have the experience of growing and having a change of heart if he isn't there. Bless you for going on your own even though your struggling. The other thing that we have been trying to make him understand is that we all hear the spirit in different ways. For me it is kind of always there, for my h it kind of hits him over the head when necessary. We are all different and heavenly father know that so he treats in a way that is best for each of us. In my sons life I can see heavenly father working even though he can't. My son is blessed with a great deal of compassion for others and is constantly having opportunities to use it. Take care and hang in there.

[mormoncutter]

I have felt the same way. It's hard I know, what really helped me get through was a prethood blessing that my bishop gave me. Mabey you could ask yours to give you one, I know it will help. And if you ever need any one to talk to i'm here.

[StrawberryFields]

Of coarse I don't actually know you but this sounds a bit like me when I moved away to college. I was away from my support system and I relied on them for strength more than I ever expected. While I was at school I did many of the things you speak of but being away caused me a great deal of doubt. I didn't actually go to a school that was Christian either. I struggled for quite sometime with "was that all true" and then I got really really sick. I had a bad fever and because I was on my own I didn't even feel like going to the doctor. I prayed about it and knew that I needed a blessing. I knew that I would have to jump a few hoops because I lived in an all girls dorm and no males were allowed past the lobby but I needed a blessing and I needed it in private. Within the dorm I was considered "different" I was Mormon but I had made many friends. It was my "Head Mom" or "mother of the floor" that I went to for help. She was Christian and the two of us had bonded. She was a senior student at the school and she went to the administration of the dorm and explained my plight. She even volunteered to walk the men up to my floor and wait for them which would cause her to miss a class. The call to my home teacher was made and I was told that they would be there in about an hour. The head mom went to wait for them after convincing administration that the visit would be short and the men would be older (retired) Within a day or so I began to feel much better.

I have come to know that our faith needs to be "exercised" to make it stronger.

[Earthymama82]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Keep doing what you are doing, and you will figure things out eventually. Hugs to you.

[LionHeart]

It sounds to me like you have been relying on the testimony of your parents, and now that you are on your own, you need to gain one of your own. The root cause of how you are feeling is your faith is becoming weak; thus your testimony weakens, as well as your belief in God. To remedy the situation, we must begin at the foundation. First, faith in the existence of God. Does He, or does He not exist? There are many logical things to consider, such as the fact that there are thousands of elements in the human body working in complete harmony to satisfy a common purpose, (coincidence, or design?) that should take away any doubt. But it's funny how it doesn't. Logic never could convince a heart. The best thing to re-build that faith is to remember back when you were a child; so pure and innocent. Remember a profound spiritual experience that affected you greatly. Was it God, or coincidence? I think you know in your heart who it was. The next step is to strive to experience more such things. Whenever you pray, after you say the opening lines, stop, wait and feel for the spirit. Once the spirit flows in, then you may continue. Rather than asking Him to simply help you strengthen your testimony, be specific. Ask Him to help you find that paper that you lost, or to help things to line up in a way that you will have time get all of your studying done and yet still be able accomplish the other neccessities of living. When you ask for help in specifics, and the Lord helps you with those things, you realize that you couldn't have done it without Him; and then it becomes harder and harder to deny His existence. Your faith strengthens, and you witness such miracles more and more frequently until your faith becomes full, and you gain the priviledge of seeing our Lord face to face. And once you gain an understanding of the character and attributes of God, then you can determine which theology is correct. Additionally, when you read scriptures, you might find that teachings, as opposed to history, are more inspiring; such as the D&C. Study also the lectures on faith, as well as the King Follett discourse. I Really hope you can find yourself again. I think you can see that you are losing yourself in proportion to you losing your faith.

LH

[richlittell]

College is full of new and interesting ideas, new and interesting people. This may cause you to question things you've always taken for granted. This is a natural feeling.
Most people who move away from home experience an extreme intensity and diversity of feelings such as loneliness mixed with the excitement of meeting new people and seeing the world in ways that you never have before. This is all quite natural.

DO stay centered in the gospel.
DON'T get involved in things that detract from the gospel.
DO take a measure or yourself and see if your actions are in keeping with the Lord's desires.

And this too shall pass, my friend.

cheerio!