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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2008, 09:03 PM
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I see this more and more in the Church. It bothers me. Even if members are scornful or abusive, stake and ward leaders should be more in tune with misbehaviors within their stakes and wards and stop them. Yes, people in the Church are not perfect, but that is no excuse for poor behaviors to be tolerated toward other people, whether members or visitors. I suspect many people have left the Church due to being mistreated. That is not how the Lord's Church should work.
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Old 10-01-2008, 01:30 AM
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I find the Church of Jesus Christ is welcoming to all, it is just the members that sometimes make things difficult. For whatever reason, fellowship is not as readily given as it is in some other Churches. For myself, I have put that external need on a back burner and concentrated on what I truly get out of Church besides fellowship.

Angela, keep plugging away. The squeeky wheel always gets the grease.
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Old 10-01-2008, 01:33 PM
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Angela, you fit in with us just fine, if others have caused you to feel bad then that is their downfall.
Try to keep your chin up girl, you have your own testimony and that is just fine with Heavenly father.
Try to not allow them to make you resentful towards them, show them that you are gods child and are happy with that.
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Old 10-03-2008, 10:20 PM
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Hey Angela!
I've been where you are! I was a single mom with 3 kids. Got my divorce after joining the church and husband was also a member. He is an exceptional lier and went around telling all sort of lies about me. Everyone believed him and thought I was the cause of the divorce.

Event the Relief Society pres and Bishop fell for the lies. Talk about feeling alone! I would sit in sacrament with tears flowing down my face. When I decided I was more unhappy AFTER church than before I decided to not go for a while. That lasted about a year, then I realized that I was starting to so things I really didn't want to do. I realized that I was making Satan happy by not taking the kids to church. I decided and made a promise to Heavenly Father that I was NOT going to let him win. (Husband or Satan). I made the resolution to take my kids to church and teach them the Gospel whether any one at church spoke to me or not. I stated going to church to feed my spirit and to learn how to be a better mother.

I had Family Home Evenings, read scriptures to my kids and tried to have a Gospel Centered home. I began to look around and notice when a woman would come in with no man, especially if they had a kid. I then spoke to them and welcomed them to our Ward. After a while I had some very close friends who were also single moms or divorced. You think you are the only one , but believe me , you aren't! Did you know that there is a singles organization in the church? One group under 30, the other over 30. If you don't have an active group in your ward, you probably do have an active singles group in the stake. When I was there I was over 30, (just slightly) and I still went to the younger one and took my kids to activities. My kids loved it! And they got lots of attention from the guys who loved to play sports at the activities.

The most important thing is to develop your relationship with Heavenly Father! Even if you don't feel it, reach out to him and HE will let you know how much He loves you! He will comfort you, he will strengthen you, he will direct you!

I am now a grandma and look back over those hard years and cry because they were some of the hardest yet sweetest and best years of my life! I look back and marvel at how I got through it. The only answer is that I was BLESSED ! And something even more incredible happened! I started to love myself! I began to realize I was special, I was worthy of love! I even sometimes wish I could go back to those days so I could hold my babies in my arms and know that the most important things in this world were right there in my home, in my arms!
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Old 10-05-2008, 01:34 AM
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Sorry that things are this way for you, i know how you feel, You know you slipped threw the cracks in church when the RS starts sending you your visiting teaching message threw the mail with no name or return Address. guess they just dont think i am worth visiting!
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Last edited by lisajo; 10-05-2008 at 01:34 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 10-05-2008, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
lisajo:
Sorry that things are this way for you, i know how you feel, You know you slipped threw the cracks in church when the RS starts sending you your visiting teaching message threw the mail with no name or return Address. guess they just don't think i am worth visiting!
I think it is human nature to 'personalize' things. To think "I" am being singled out...the only one "this" is happening to. Yet, often, that really is not the case. Chances are, if they are sending you a letter, they are doing so to others. I know for a fact, that in my Ward, Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching is not being done as it should be. My thought would be that the Sister/ Relief Society...sent that message out to many of the sisters, not just you. It is the easy way to say "I did my teaching this month." I know sisters that if they see you out in your yard, and they stop and say "HI", they count that; they stop and speak to you in the isle of the local food mart...it counts!

So, it is not that YOU are not worth the time; it is that their calling is not worth their time.
Please do not think you are not worthy or important; you are.
You are a beloved Daughter of our Heavenly Father; He loves you dearly.
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Old 10-05-2008, 02:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nibowaka View Post
I see this more and more in the Church. It bothers me. Even if members are scornful or abusive, stake and ward leaders should be more in tune with misbehaviors within their stakes and wards and stop them. Yes, people in the Church are not perfect, but that is no excuse for poor behaviors to be tolerated toward other people, whether members or visitors. I suspect many people have left the Church due to being mistreated. That is not how the Lord's Church should work.
Great subject for multiple Sacrament meeting and General conference talks.
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There is no other commandment that ranks with these."

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Old 10-06-2008, 06:49 AM
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First: PunkRocker: Mohawk, green hair!! I would like one with green in the middle and orange on sides!!

Hi Angela... been there too... sometimes I think the Church is full of scared lost people who are so scared to contact others so they just keep quiet in their pain! We are so afraid of opening our hearts to other pople. Yes I have opened my hart... and yes I been badly hurt. And even more I been hurt of ghossiping. But the only thing one has to understand is that the person that hurts you or ghossips about you is doing wrong. The person not helping one in need is doing wrong.
This is also a big problem for the priesthood... who is entitled for help who manages witout. I have recieved some help and many times none. I am kind of stubborn person so I am stil here asI think that God and serving Him is more importnat than my hurt feelings. So I suppose I am a survivor and that is why I been kicked around like a football.

I wish there was something, one could do, to make singles and alone mothers feel membership and Gods love more than they do now. Been twice in the latter gategory, many times wondering WHY I am draging my kids to Church every Sunday. But I KNOW that was the right thing to do.
I been in primary/childrensroom some 20 years. I missed all the reliefsociety and now I feel a srtanger there... out of place. To my horror they put me in young women... campleader I think it is. Now I am enjoying fully to study the NT and JS. I have never had possibility to that before because of small kids or primary. I was happy in primary... I know kids! I have mixed toughts about grownups though. They smile at you with a digger behind their back. But I dont really care any more I am way beyond that, it is their problem not mine.
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Old 10-06-2008, 01:15 PM
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As a single mom of four, I completely know your struggles...
Do what your bishop said, yes...its hard but it does pay off I promise.
Tell your bishop also you need help with counceling, be honest and simply say hey...I'm asking for your help because I truly need it. Open communication and pushing foward will pay off, just have faith....
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