Considered Suicide. worried about living

[georgia2]

Originally Posted by [QUOTE

skippy740

;268283]Seek professional advice.

Talk to your bishop and get a referral to LDS social services. They have LDS counsellors that can help you or refer you to a competent professional.

It is possible to get the church to help you pay for this service.

No matter what other helpful information we can post, it won't help you as this advice will.

Call him right now and don't feel that you're interrupting him. This is IMPORTANT and that's what he's there for![/quote]

AMEN TO THAT !
My husband and I joke all the time about those strange Mormons!
Anyway, LDS social services are good if you are in an area that actually has them. Here we only get to see someone once a month (if that much) and also have to travel long distances.
In addition to seeing a counselor, you could also talk to your school counselor.

Another idea is to seek out the clubs or organizations that have things of interest to you. What do you like to do? What would you like to learn? It could be something outside of school, like a city or county group, YMCA, or community thing. . Then you could join that club or begin to attend those activities. Then you could start up a conversation about that topic. No one would know you and you could start a fresh chapter in your life, gain confidence, then it would spill over in to your school life.

What about your Young Men's presidency? They would love to help if you would just open up to them. People aren't mind readers unfortunately.

LAstly, I think most people have contemplated suicide. There have been times in my life that were so agonizingly painful that I did want to die. BUT, I knew I couldn't, wouldn't do it. Know that you ARE NOT ALONE !!!!

[Elphaba]

Originally Posted by SomeAnonymousGuy

I have come to make this thread for a simple reason, and I intend for no one to see this as a joke.

Hi Some,

Thinking about killing yourself is never a joke. It is about pain. It's about pain so all-encompassing that the only way you can think of to make it stop is suicide.

For some reason I had always been quiet, and have never been able to acquire a single friend, i would always be alone and continue to struggle to get friends. Because of that people at school had assumed that i am mentally handicapped which I am clearly not, and explaining does not work. The lies keep getting stronger and more people there continue to bother me every year, they talk behind my back taking these lies as if i don't notice the world around me, i have become paranoid because of it and have considered suicide. Even the girl i had a severe crush on had tried to say hurtful words to me. Its not as simple as moving to another school, the closest one being 40 miles away. Why doesn't the lord answer my prayers to stop this? I've been asking for 3 years now for him to stop this and am starting to believe the gospel does not exist. Its not worth living life if i cant have a normal adolescent life, I'm no where near mentally handicapped. Please do not bring hate upon me, just help me, what should I do?

I had a similar experience in high school, and I am not allowed to write the words I want to say about those people. I don't care if they were just high school kids--they are mean, mean, mean. Just plain freaking mean. NO ONE should have to go through that.

Someone suggested you call your bishop right away, and I competely agree. You need to get some help today!

Also, where are your parents in all of this? Do they know that you feel suicidal?

Someone also said that once you get out of high school, things change. They are right, they do change. For me, leaving high school gave me a chance to start over with people, and I discovered that I could make friends, and that they would even like me. I never knew that in high school.

Unfortunately, I've struggled with suicidal thoughts all of my life, and made a serious attempt in 2006. To this day I don't know who found me. But once I was out of the ICU, and able to look in a mirror, I looked at my chest and it was every color in the rainbow.

That brought me to my knees, as I realized how close I had come to DESTROYING a wonderful person who DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE.

You do NOT deserve what you are going through. But you also DO NOT deserve to die because of it.

It seems so trite, I know, but at 52 years old, I can tell you high school does end, and people do mature. They grow up and realize it is wrong to be so mean to their fellow human beings.

Sometimes, what helps is just getting angry. I'm not talking about destroying anything because of your anger. But you have every right to be angry, and hopefully that anger will, at first, keep you from letting anyone, ever again, take advantage of you and your personality. Again, I can't write what I'd like to...but they do deserve your anger.

This is where a therapist could be very helpful, as anger can be a destructive thing as well, and that would only make things worse for you. But I get the sense you have no one to share your pain and anger with, and that is so wrong.

Hopefully, you soon will see that you are a human being, and you deserve to be treated with respect. And if someone in your life is not willing to do that, then they are gone. Period. That's what you deserve.

Please come back and tell us how you're doing. A lot of people come to the board and are going through something really traumatic. But they never come back, and we all worry about them, like we'd worry about you.

You're in my thoughts,
Elphaba

[jschroeder]

Hi

I have to tell you that I would never take a post like yours as a joke because I have been there. It's not an easy road to walk and it can be lonely and discouraging. I would have to echo a lot of what has been said already.

Talk to people you trust, who know you and your worth, your true worth. KEEP TALKING until someone understands you or you feel heard.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! Heavenly Father may be answering your prayers, actually I KNOW HE IS, it's just that at times when we do not get the answer we are yearning for we miss His answer. He will give you strength to deal with this adversity, He will make weak things strong IF YOU TURN TO HIM. He will never give you more to handle than what you AND HE can handle TOGETHER.

I spent years dealing with chronic major depression. I was in and out of the hospital trying to get medications adjusted, trying to stay alive and trying to raise two kids. It's hard, and in the present I am thankful for those trials, for those hard times. I still struggle at times with the depression but I am much more able to handle it. I do the same things most people here are telling you to do. They work, give them a try.

We can either let our trials make us or break us. Try to use this as a stepping stone to something much bigger and better...not sure what that is? Ask Heavenly Father....He WILL guide you.

And please, come back and let us know how you are doing. I'm sure I speak for many, if not all of us, when I say come back and find a place where you can be who you really are, let us know how you are doing.

Since I don't know your name I will just keep you in my prayers, anyways, as I'm sure Heavenly Father knows you very well. He knows your pain, He knows your weakness, He knows your strength and He knows your name.

Again, Talk, keep talking and then pray and keep praying and then listen and follow through with what you know to be true.

One last thing because I know this is long already....Yes what others say hurts, life is not fair sometimes. Even the Saviour will not interfere with others freedom to choose, but He will assist those who choose to walk in His paths. Even He, the Lord Himself, asked Father to remove the suffering He was going through in the garden, but as an example He submitted to our Father's will and THEN He had angels minister to Him to strengthen Him to accomplish what He then knew He must do. Follow His example in all things and all will be well.....you can have peace in the midst or turmoil

Take care my FRIEND!!

[SMG]

I had an awful time in high school, too. I recall my days of feeling hopeless, alone and lost in a metaphorical blizzard. Cold, tired, alone and the drive to continue on weakening. It still bothers me to recall that time.

I can only echo what others have said. Get in contact with your bishop, your parents, your school counselor, any adult you trust. Reach out, there ARE people who will reach back and help you, they just may not be the people you expected.

As Elphaba said, don't be afraid to express your anger (in a non destructive way). Anger is a perfectly human response to what you've gone through. Bottling your anger can be just as damaging as letting it run rampant. You are in my prayers. Please don't be afraid to reply or send messages if you want to talk. My, and the ears of many others here, are open, and our shoulders are strong.

[pam]

Thanks everyone. Wonderful posts. It's wonderful we have such great members of this site who can help and support those who feel in need.

[RainofGold]

I am sooo sorry that youa re going through all this pain. I want to tell you that you are not alone, you have a loving Heavenly Father that loves you.
You are His son, and He wont leave you alone. I will pray for you so that you can have the strength that you need, please don't give up. You sound like a sweet, kind and considerate young man.
Your new friend,

Rainofgold

[Twospirit]

I haven't read all the posts, but I have read your post.
I counsel young adults for a living and from what I have read, maybe explore going for professional counselling young friend. Maybe that trained person is able to guide you gently in disovering yourself and the beautiful soul you truly are. It can only help you.
Keep in mind, Although it may not seem like it for you now... But God is there, watching over you and will provide resources for you to get through this. Seek professional psychologists through the network your church provides and begin there. Then take this step for step, day by day.Different people take different amounts of time to learn and grow, and God has His perfect timing for you to discover yourself , your place in life, and Him(first and foremost). Have faith in that. You will get there.
Wishing You all the Best.

[Dove]

Hello,

Thank you so much for sharing your pain with us, and for reaching out for help!! I am so glad you are doing so!!

A lot of people really relate to what you are going through. I also went through a lot of sorrow in school. People started teasing me when I was 8 years old and it didn't stop throughout high school.

Sometimes I still feel teased by people around me to this day! Even people my own age. I have also struggled with thoughts of suicide! I have often wondered why Heavenly Father didn't help me more with all this.

It's taken me most of my life (I'm 40, now LOL) to realize something very important. That Heavenly Father wants me to do all that I can do to solve my problems while he helps me. That I need to try with all that I have to make myself happy. You have already shown your willingness to do this by asking for the help of the people on this site. As you can see, we are all pulling for you and are hurting with you because so many of us have gone through things like you have.

Many people also have given a lot of good suggestions as to what you can do to make this better. Have you thought about talking to your school principal and making him aware of what is being done to you? Reach out to your parents, bishop, a therapist, friends, anyone you can trust to help you with this. I had someone writing insults and names on my locker for months. I even changed my locker to try and get away from the person who was doing this. They found where my locker was at and started writing on it again. It wasn't until I got the principal involved, and she started getting fellow students out of class to question them about this that the problem was resolved.

Along with all the wonderful advice you've been given, I would just like to add to fight for yourself and your own happiness. Do all that you can do to resolve it and the Lord will show up for you in making it better

Dove

[Tamrajh]

I am so impressed with the responses everyone has posted; what love dwells herein.

I too know the pain you are going through. I had a horrible time in high school and was quite a loner. Although everyone knew who I was and said I was a really nice person, I had no friends. No one I could rely on. I always felt alone and did attempt suicide. I can tell you that it's not the answer and having to swallow charcoal is not a good experience or memory. It is just as disgusting as it sounds.

You are not alone. There are others who feel the same way you do, maybe for different reasons, but they feel just as alone as you. It gets easier once high school is over. I know it's hard to see past those three years, but 3 years compared to the next 60 is a small portion to have to deal with. It does suck. I'm not discounting it. It sucks a lot, I know. You will come out of this stronger, with more compassion and empathy, more patience, more tolerant than others, a better manager than most, and a better person overall. I'm not sure why Father feels you need these qualities and all the others He's helping you develop, but I'm sure there's a reason. He loves you. We love you. We understand you and we will always listen to you.

Come on here and open your heart to us, visit us in chat, email any of us. Take your pick, we will continue to help you through this. You are not alone and you are loved.

[MorningStar]

You sound like a very nice guy and I'm sure loads of people are missing out on your friendship! Kids are such idiots sometimes. For years during grade school, I was friends with girls I didn't even like and didn't treat me well. I went a couple years without playing with anyone outside of school because I was so fed up and it just dawned on me that they weren't real friends. Junior high, I started building friendships, and then high school I made a great group of friends through choir. We all had different beliefs, but we had music in common. Four of us now still get together every month and we graduated 15 years ago. If it hadn't been for choir, I don't know if I would've had close friends like that.

What are your hobbies? Are you in any clubs, sports, etc.? It's hard to get to know quiet people and it can be misinterpreted in many ways. I was quiet in most of my classes and one guy told me he thought I was a snob until he got to know me later. With the kids who weren't accepted when I was growing up, I feel terrible that I didn't reach out to them. I was never mean to them, but I wish I had invited them over or something. In fact, just a couple months ago, I googled two girls in particular like crazy because I wanted to see if everything turned out OK for them. I hoped they would grow up and be so awesome, sticking it to all the morons who treated them like crap. One girl was a very talented artist and I don't think she knew how great she was.

These people don't determine your worth. Have you ever read "You Are Special"? It's a great book! It's for kids, but I love it. Please check it out and let me know what you think.

Someday you will be able to help people who feel like you do. Please let your parents know what you are going through. I have so much I want to say, but I'm feeding my baby and typing one handed. Hang in there!