Considered Suicide. worried about living

[SomeAnonymousGuy]

I have come to make this thread for a simple reason, and I intend for no one to
see this as a joke. This problem involves the high school that I go to, I'll explain.
For some reason I had always been quiet, and have never been able to acquire a single friend, i would always be alone and continue to struggle to get friends. Because of that people at school had assumed that i am mentally handicapped which I am clearly not, and explaining does not work. The lies keep getting stronger and more people there continue to bother me every year, they talk behind my back taking these lies as if i don't notice the world around me, i have become paranoid because of it and have considered suicide. Even the girl i had a severe crush on had tried to say hurtful words to me. Its not as simple as moving to another school, the closest one being 40 miles away. Why doesn't the lord answer my prayers to stop this? I've been asking for 3 years now for him to stop this and am starting to believe the gospel does not exist. Its not worth living life if i cant have a normal adolescent life, I'm no where near mentally handicapped. Please do not bring hate upon me, just help me, what should I do?

[ceeboo]

Hello someanonymousguy,

First, welcome to this forum

I DO NOT feel like you are joking nor do I think your situation is a joke AT ALL.

I am not sure what to write to you at this point but maybe I'll just share a few words with you and IF YOU wish to reply to me, I will be MORE than happy to extend my hand in friendship to you.

To be clear with you, I am not LDS, so if you were looking for LDS advice, support, or friendship, I will totally understand and it is NO PROBLEM.

Enough for now

God bless,
Carl

[countrygirl66]

hi someanonymousguy
I wish I had answers for you. I would share with you that I grew up in a small town and school was a giant nightmare for me. It was something to get through. I too prayed to somehow be removed from the situation. It never happened. A lot of times church was the same. I will say that I still have my testimony that the church is true. I do not know why when you are in that situation others around you just make things worse. I was a foster kid growing up in a small narrow minded town. I pretty much hated most of it. The good news is that once I graduated, other than seeing my parents I never had to look back. I don't know if this will bring comfort to you but I want you to know you are not alone.

On the upside, I learned to do a lot of things that I could do by myself. At times I had friends but for the most part it was not permanent. And the friends that I sometimes had were harder on me than those who never claimed to be my friends. I as an adult have had a much better life than most of them. I was able to develope patience and long suffering at an early age. It has benefitted me a lot when I am called to work with an especially difficult child or notice a shy one in my ward.

I hope you will keep posting and know you are not alone. You can find many friends here that have struggles of their own and draw support from that. Take gentle care of yourself.

[skippy740]

Seek professional advice.

Talk to your bishop and get a referral to LDS social services. They have LDS counsellors that can help you or refer you to a competent professional.

It is possible to get the church to help you pay for this service.

No matter what other helpful information we can post, it won't help you as this advice will.

Call him right now and don't feel that you're interrupting him. This is IMPORTANT and that's what he's there for!

[Misshalfway]

Hello. My name is Misshalfway and I would like to be your friend. See? You just made another friend. Now how easy was that?

It sounds like you have been treated terribly. I am sorry for that. I don't know what it is about high school that seems to bring out the nasty in people, but it just happens. I am sorry that you have been the subject of such gossip and that people haven't taken the time to get to know the real you behind your quiet persona.

I know a little of despair. I have battled many long midnights trying to see my way thru it ...trying to convince myself that I was worth something even though friends were hard to find. I am grateful for my "time in the dark". It wasn't fun and I wouldn't wish such experience on anyone, but I found wonderful strength because of the adversity. I am different and better now. I have found meaning in my sufferings and I am grateful for them.

Having said that, I must tell the truth. People's words hurt sometimes. They just do! They can call into question our worth and our quality of life sometimes. But.....and this is a big but..... they only have as much power as we allow them to have. You sound like you know that you are a great individual. That is good. Now I think maybe changing how you think about your experience could help too. Perhaps Father in Heaven isn't lifting this trial because he knows it will increase your wisdom or your compassion. Perhaps Father is trying to teach you to move out of your comfort zone in some way or to find the strength to push back in loving ways and to stand up to the injustice. I can't really know. What I do know is that disguised in every trial are wonderful treasures of opportunity. Perhaps asking Father in Heaven to show you some of them may help.

Remember too, that High School does end. Life gets better. There is college and other experiences that most assuredly will expose to you kinder and more compassionately matured individuals. So hang on. The light will come. And until then, make your own light!! Love yourself. Make your life fun as you explore your interests and expand your talents. Be a good friend to someone too. I guarantee that you are not the only lonely and sad one out there. And don't give these unkind people anymore sway on your feelings. Don't let them decide how you feel!!! You take that power back!!

Best wishes and welcome to the forum. There are many good and funny and diverse people here. And if you wait 10 min, there will be some good drama too. You are indeed welcome here. So.....come on in and take a load off and have a laugh. Tell us who you are and let us see a little of what makes you YOU. Betcha 20 bucks you will have a few friends in no time.

[bytor2112]

Please....talk to your parents. Be completely honest with them...if you feel like you can't do that or your home life is bad also...the see a school councellor. If these feelings dominate your thought...go to the hospital...don't delay. If you are LDS and even if your not go to see the Bishop.

I know it seems difficult to imagine....but high school doesn't last forever. Teen agers can be such jerks.....remember they are being ignorant. Your life has purpose and meaning and though I don't know you.....the world is a much better place with you in it. You can have an amazing future.....amazing, please don't let insensitive, ignorant jerks hurt you so badly that you could ever consider harm to yourself. Sometimes life seems unbearable and that it's just not worth the hassle...but it will improve. High school will end,....and then you get to pick and choose who you see everyday and will not have to be subjected to these abuses everyday.

Hang in there and seek help.......from adults....Bishop, Doctors, Councellors, Parents......don't delay....do it today.

[ztodd]

Hello SomeAnonymousGuy, how are you doin man? Listen, hang in there- I was a real social dud in high school- I've never been a real socially popular person, but like MissHalfway and Bytor2112 said, high school doesn't last forever- and you still have a wonderful life ahead of you. There was a time on school trip I went on when the people I roomed with weren't the best influences, and I felt really down in the dumps one night, so I prayed for quite a while that night that things would get better, and the next day some other guys who I felt a lot better about invited me to hang out with them the next day. I didn't even realize it then that that was an answer to my prayer. Looking back now, I can see how God was looking out for me back then.

If you're crying unto God (praying with all your heart), you need to know that God does hear and will answer you. Sometimes it's not exactly the way you expect, but keep your eyes, ears, and heart open to watch for those answers to your prayers.

Hope you know you've got some friends here bud. Hope to hear more from you soon about how things are going.

[Loudmouth_Mormon]

Hi SAG,

I don't really have much for you in the way of advice. Just wanted to let you know that my teen years really stank too - in similar amounts to what you describe. Now that I think about it, my pre-teen years stank also to a great extent. I remember my first thoughts of suicide before I turned 10. It was a family vacation to Yellowstone. I remember trying to will myself into running into a geyser, but I couldn't make my legs obey me.

Funny thing was, I didn't really have much to be sad about, besides stuff like you mention. The social outcast stuff was rough - especially in middle school. I eventually dealt with it by learning how to become invisible - that served me well throughout high school. You talk about being quiet - I got good at going entire days without a single word passing my lips from the time I left for school until the time I came home. I tried for a whole week a few times, but couldn't quite pull that off. Then I later dealt with it by actually finding friends. Again, if I had some advice on how I fixed myself, I'd give it. But I don't think I fixed myself, I think it was just a combination of maturing my way out of my problems, while the people around me matured into people that stopped being a bunch of cruel idiots. Oh - and not doing myself in - I guess that was important too.

Now, in my late 30's, I've got what I yearned so much for. A good, legitimate testimony based on a clear, undeniable spiritual experience - straight from God to me. A good wife, a couple of kids, and for whatever reason, I wake up each morning not exactly sure how I ended up being this good at life.

God did not answer my pleas during those dark years - but He did eventually enter my life in powerful ways. I had to endure those years and last longer than they did. I guess maybe if I had advice, that would be it. One day at a time, my friend.

Good luck.
LM

[Wingnut]

SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain.

[tomk]

Originally Posted by SomeAnonymousGuy

I have come to make this thread for a simple reason, and I intend for no one to
see this as a joke. This problem involves the high school that I go to, I'll explain.
For some reason I had always been quiet, and have never been able to acquire a single friend, i would always be alone and continue to struggle to get friends. Because of that people at school had assumed that i am mentally handicapped which I am clearly not, and explaining does not work. The lies keep getting stronger and more people there continue to bother me every year, they talk behind my back taking these lies as if i don't notice the world around me, i have become paranoid because of it and have considered suicide. Even the girl i had a severe crush on had tried to say hurtful words to me. Its not as simple as moving to another school, the closest one being 40 miles away. Why doesn't the lord answer my prayers to stop this? I've been asking for 3 years now for him to stop this and am starting to believe the gospel does not exist. Its not worth living life if i cant have a normal adolescent life, I'm no where near mentally handicapped. Please do not bring hate upon me, just help me, what should I do?

That is a real shame people are treating you this way.

Since they are not likely to stop, and God is not likely to stop them (since this would interfere with their agency), it is up to you to respond in a Christlike manner.

Love your enemies. Bless them that hate you. Pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you.


If this seems like too much to bear ... that is why we pray for the grace of God to make us equal to this task. By yourself, unaided, you are not equal to this cruelty. But if you ask for the Lord's help, He will help you. He may not take you out of the situation. He may not change the hearts of others so that they will magically be nicer to you. But He can change YOUR HEART so that you can bear the abuse for a season even as Christ did during His mortal ministry.

You do need to communicate with those who are doing this. Confront them and tell them that you don't appreciate their lies. Counsel with the Lord about this. Follow the counsel you receive.


Good luck. It's not the end of the world. It will pass.