Looking for an answer.

[MarginOfError]

I apologize in advance, but my mind is just too tired to think coherently right now, so I might jump around a bit in my thoughts.

First off, let me say that I can't recall very many incidents in my life that made me go, "Yeah, the Church must be true." However, I do know that the Church must be true. How can that be? I discovered how this could years after a talk I heard at a Stake Youth Activity.

This particular talk was an odd sort of talk. The speak spoke about elephants, motorcycles, and fleas. That's about all I remember. I don't remember what the significance of elephants, motorcycles, or fleas was to the Gospel, but I do remember one principle that the speaker shared. He said, and this is paraphrased, "Some time in the future, you might remember this talk. More than likely, all that you'll remember is that it was about elephants, motorcycles, and fleas. But you will remember how you felt when you listened to it, and you'll remember that you felt the Spirit, and it will make you feel good. That's what makes up your testimony." Well, here it is, 12 years later and that's all I remember.

Another anecdote: In a previous ward I attended, there was a pair of missionaries that asked me to write my testimony for them. It bothered me. Sure I could write I know the Gospel is true, I know Christ is my Savior, yadda yadda yadda. But it felt empty to me, and didn't really seem to carry the weight of my testimony. What I ended up writing was something of the effect of, "I like grapefruit. I really like grapefruit. Every time I cut open a grapefruit and eat it, I enjoy it. I don't know why exactly, but I just know--having eaten many grapefruits--that I like grapefruit. My testimony of the Gospel is the same way. I don't know why I know it's true. I can't tell you when I knew it was true. But every time I try it, I like it."

I'm sure that seems really silly to most everyone, but it's heartfelt, and it honestly captures my testimony better than any expression I've ever attempted. You can decide if my silliness can help you or not.

I agree, that if you're not convinced that serving a mission right now is the right thing to do, then you should wait. In fact, I served a mission when I was 19, and I think I probably wasted about a year of the Lord's time. I was in no way humble enough or prepared enough to be a missionary, and I am sure I would have been much more successful if I had waited a little while. Take some time to find answers to your questions, resolve your doubts. The rewards for serving a mission when you are prepared and committed far outweigh any social struggles resulting from people looking down on you for not serving promptly at turning 19.

[tomk]

Originally Posted by Hiker104

Hi, I am 18 years old and live in Utah county and have been LDS all my life. I decided that before i went on my mission i would learn for myself if the church is true. I have read the BOM once and also listened to it on tape also. I didn't think it would happen but I am having major doubts about the church now. I haven't received any revelation or answers about the church or about Joseph Smith and the BOM. Ive been searching for 5 weeks now and i haven't come up with anything except more doubts and more questions. I know to recieve the spirit you need to be living the gospel and to want to know with a sincere heart and am trying my best to accomplish both of those. I am not quite sure what to expect as an answer. By no means do I expect an angel to come floating into my room and tell me its true or anything like that and to tell you the truth Im not quite what to expect. Everyone always talks about a burning in the bosom, they felt peaceful about it etc. but so far I don't think I have felt either of those.

I am feeling a lot of pressure to just go and serve a mission and know that if i don't i will probably lose a lot of friends and let down my family, but i refuse to serve due to social pressure, which if you have ever lived in Utah county is gigantic and guys who do not serve are considered to either have committed a grave sin and cannot go or just want to go live a sinful life, neither of which is me. I cannot tell people that something is true and convert them to it when I am unsure of that very thing myself. I cannot lie to myself and others, which is why I feel like I need to gain a testimony of it for myself. I have no problem serving a mission in fact i have all the money saved for it its just I can't bring myself to go and teach something I don't fully believe in. I haven't discredited or decided that the church is 100% false or anything like that and will continue to try to get an answer on whether its true or not but I am very discouraged at the moment and unsure what to do.

I guess I am just afraid that I won't ever receive anything at all and be left in this state of bouncing back and forth wondering if it is really a divinely inspired church, or if that we are just alone on this planet and that this is it.

Can anyone offer my any advice if they have gone through the same thing?

Thanks

Having served a mission .... and having been blessed with some "life experience" for about 17 years afterwards (Holy Stink, was it THAT long ago? I am so old....) here is my advice:


First of all -- a testimony is a living, vibrant thing. Constantly changing...and....hopefully....growing stronger and for the better. Much of what you believe and hold to now will mature, including your compassion for those who sin and struggle. At 19 I was on my high horse. Felt I had a thing or two to teach people about God and His Gospel. As it turns-out -- I was a fool.


You are what the Lord describes as "the weak things of this world" -- try to bear this in mind the next few years. Deep humility is your friend.


As far as KNOWING these things are true...what we really mean by that most of the time is .... the Lord has revealed it is true unto our hearts by the power of the Holy Ghost. It is delicious to us. It feels right. It feels good and wholesome. It brings peace.


But these things are not prove-able to the world. Jesus administers to us individually. It is because of Him speaking to us through the anonymity of the Holy Ghost that we "KNOW" anything. So we have naught of which to boast as "our" knowledge.

Examine your motivations for serving a mission.


Many people GAIN a testimony AS they serve --- not before. This happens so much that I cannot help but think the Lord has a purpose in asking young men -- who know nothing -- to go out and serve and preach -- when they barely know themselves what they are teaching.


Why would He do this? Because you are the branch ... He is the True Vine. He is doing the converting and witnessing, not you. All you bring to the table is willingness to serve Him. If you have that willingess ... then you are called to the work.



I hope this rambling helps.


Continue prayerful.

[tomk]

As far as getting the witness of these things -- humble yourself, just as the families you teach will have to do -- and follow Moroni's admonition and promise:



3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.


Notice the wording:


What we need to do to:

"read these things"

"remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your heart."

Have you spent time doing this yet? Have you taken time to remember how merciful the Lord has been to you in bringing forth these precious words of life to you? Have you pondered it and mulled it over for a while? Moroni says we cannot skip this step.



I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things [ARE TRUE];

Here comes the IF:

IF ye shall ask with a sincere heart
...with real intent
...having faith in Christ


THE PROMISE:

He will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.


He will do so in a way that makes sense for YOU. It may not be a "burning" in the bosom -- but you will receive the witness in the way that you need most and will respond to according to your personality and the nature of your spirit.



Good luck. I bear my witness to you that I know these things are true. I have received the promised witness from the Lord.


If I can -- so can you. So can anybody. But you must carefully follow ALL of the promise and the conditions for the witness to come.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

[ceeboo]

Originally Posted by MarginOfError

Another anecdote: In a previous ward I attended, there was a pair of missionaries that asked me to write my testimony for them. It bothered me. Sure I could write I know the Gospel is true, I know Christ is my Savior, yadda yadda yadda. But it felt empty to me, and didn't really seem to carry the weight of my testimony. What I ended up writing was something of the effect of, "I like grapefruit. I really like grapefruit. Every time I cut open a grapefruit and eat it, I enjoy it. I don't know why exactly, but I just know--having eaten many grapefruits--that I like grapefruit. My testimony of the Gospel is the same way. I don't know why I know it's true. I can't tell you when I knew it was true. But every time I try it, I like it."

I'm sure that seems really silly to most everyone, but it's heartfelt, and it honestly captures my testimony better than any expression I've ever attempted. You can decide if my silliness can help you or not.

Hey MOE,

SILLY ?? Actually IMHO not silly at all. On the Contrary

As a matter of fact it was the best explanation I have heard in my 3 months here on the forum ( and I have heard alot )

Thanks for sharing

God bless,
Carl

[Loudmouth_Mormon]

Originally Posted by Misshalfway

Another great tidbit of truth from the great LM.
Awesome!

Oh - that's not from me. That's from the truly great John A. Widstoe in one of his "Evidences and Reconciliations" books.

I'm just a storehouse of other people's great quotes.

LM

[Misshalfway]

Originally Posted by Loudmouth_Mormon

Oh - that's not from me. That's from the truly great John A. Widstoe in one of his "Evidences and Reconciliations" books.

I'm just a storehouse of other people's great quotes.

LM

Well, I give you the credit for showing it then.

[Hiker104]

Thank you for your comments. I guess I have always viewed a testimony of "knowing" not necessarily believing. I mean we always see people get up during fast and testimony meeting and speak a resounding "I know" after every principle of the church. I guess I will just try to slowly work my way from hoping it is true, to believing it is true, to hopefully someday knowing it is true.

[rameumptom]

I'm guessing you are not receiving an answer because of the pressure you are feeling to get an answer. Are you seeking an answer because you personally truly wish to find out for yourself, or because everyone is pressuring you towards a mission? Moroni 10:3-5 tells us we must ask with "real intent", which means we have to be right before the Lord, not just in keeping the commandments, but in seeking an answer.
Forget the pressure of the mission for now. And then be patient on receiving the answer. Lorenzo Snow waited months to receive his answer. Brigham Young investigated the Church for 2 years before receiving a witness strong enough to decide to be baptized.

So, be patient, seek spiritual experiences, and wait upon the Lord.

[BenRaines]

Many of those who say "know" are repeating what they have heard since they were children in primary. First must come a desire to know, believe and later knowledge will come by a gift of the spirit. Anyone who truly wants to come to know can but just saying "I know" does not make it so.

I applaud you for wanting to have your own testimony. You appear to have a desire, believe those you trust and the knowledge will come later.

Ben Raines

[thefam42]

Well based on experience you should not go on a mission only because your expected to you have to want to go and be prepared to put alot of effort into it, and the same goes for gaining a testimony of the BOM. Nothing is easy it is even harder I think when you are in a area like Utah where you may have based your testimony on something other than your own desire to know. Sometimes it s harder for a person that has been raised in the church than someone that is a convert. Any way my advise (for what its worth) is keep praying dont give up to soon and if you receive what your looking for then go on a mission because in your heart that's what you want to do, not because of your parents or anyone else. Good luck and I hope you get an answer to your prayers.