Is this Christlike??

[Fiannan]

I don't know... I would just suggest you screen over your list when forwarding anything of a sensitive nature. About 5% of the people on my Facebook friends list are Muslim, so if I were to send out something that could offend a Muslim (in regards to religion) I would not forward it to them -- yet that does not mean I screen out everything I forward. As for the question about the hypothetical anti-Mormon it would depend on what they forwarded. If it were a link to one of those on-line re-enactments of a temple ceremony I would be upset but if they forwarded me something they believed in I would then use it as an opportunity to clarrify what our church really stands for.
We can't walk on eggshells all the time. I mean really, do I get offended when I am in China and people will sometimes make their eyes round and laugh when they see westerners? We will constantly rub each other the worng way -- it's going to happen all our lives. If someone does get a letter that promotes a view on marriage that the person doesn't like then they also have to appreciate where the sender is coming from.

[prisonchaplain]

Originally Posted by RainofGold

"Can't believe that some people would take away another's basic rights! AND still call themselves "Christlike".

This is what my little brother responded to a post that I forwarded about (protecting marriage) to all of my friends on my list. Yes my little brother who is gay was on this list and he responded very upset and hurt. I told him that I didn't just sent it to him but to everyone on my friends list and I also apologized if I hurt his feelings, but at the same time I reminded him where I stand on this matter. I don't want to hurt my relationship with him, he knows that I love him and even though I don't approve with his lifestyle he is and always be my little brother.

Is there anything else that I can do? Was that very insensitive of me to sent it to him?

Rainofgold

The deed is done, but I do not send political material to my mother or sister, who vote differently from me, and are not about to change their views. All it would do is create tension. Add to the general mix, this issue of homosexuality, and the feelings are intensified. The errant view of those who say "live and let live," is that this orientation is hardwired into our biological makeup, and that there really is no volition.

IMHO, you did well to apologize, and perhaps less well to mitigate the apology with a refresher view on your political and moral stance. Surely he already knows this, and it makes the apology seem less than full, perhaps.

If your relationship is strong, this incident should be minor. He knows you love him and strongly disagree with how he lives. You know he loves you, and strongly disagrees with your understanding of homosexuality. Blood is thicker than politics or private lifestyles...at least it should be.

[checkerboy]

What happened to personal responsibility.....? If he is offended that is his problem. I guess it is important to not intentionally try to "offend" people and I usually try to be polite and all that but seriously he is your brother, he needs to get over it. People can be so petty these days.

[mightynancy]

Checker, what you say is true, but even when I accidentally/innocently offend someone, even the oversensitive, I'm still sorry for it and try to make amends.

I dunno, I just think compassion is called for rather than "get over it!" I often find that people who are really sensitive with OTT reactions are that way not because they seek drama but because they're hurting some other way.

[Hemidakota]

There is a time for compassion as the Lord shown to those who seeked repentance, a change in ones life, seeking the truth, but other times He did not show any compassion when direct laws were completely ignored or violated - remember the temple?

[tomk]

If your motives were not to hurt then why worry?

Elder Bednar once said, "You cannot give offence. It is the choice of other people to take offence to your words." We have agency. Being offended is a choice, not a reaction we have no control over.

[Wingnut]

What's done is done, and you can't undo it. You've apologized for this event, and there's not much more you can do (except someone suggested flowers), especially since he already knows where you stand on the issue. I do think it was insensitive to include him on the email in the first place though. I would be more careful with any correspondence of a sensitive topic going forward, and if Prop 8 passes, don't include your brother in your victory email.

[RainofGold]

Originally Posted by Wingnut

What's done is done, and you can't undo it. You've apologized for this event, and there's not much more you can do (except someone suggested flowers), especially since he already knows where you stand on the issue. I do think it was insensitive to include him on the email in the first place though. I would be more careful with any correspondence of a sensitive topic going forward, and if Prop 8 passes, don't include your brother in your victory email.

Did I mention that he sent me a "vote no on prop 8 don't eliminate marriage for anyone." Did I take offense? I respect his stand on this and understand where's his coming from. Do I tell him is not Christ-like to be living a gay life? To have left the church, his priesthood? No, because I think that would be more insensitive of me.

Rain

[Misshalfway]

Originally Posted by RainofGold

Did I mention that he sent me a "vote no on prop 8 don't eliminate marriage for anyone." Did I take offense? I respect his stand on this and understand where's his coming from. Do I tell him is not Christ-like to be living a gay life? To have left the church, his priesthood? No, because I think that would be more insensitive of me.

Rain

It seems like you both have anxious feelings on either side of this. Is it possible to have an open and careful dialogue about exchanging politically charged email to each other? And then, why not address calmly how his "UN-Christlike" allegation made you feel. It seems like to me that he is using his political and emotional feelings to guilt you into believing his side of things or even to punish you a little for not doing so.

In any case, it seems to me that if he had issue with you sending the mail in the first place, it would have been more mature and more fair of him to kindly ask you not to so or to negotiate a better way of dealing with each other.

To kinda throw over a dig in the safety of an email, well, its just kinda ..... I don't know.... Is weak too harsh? I can't say that I really know what his feelings are under all of these issues but, I do take exception to how he chose to handle it. I just think there are better ways.... mutually beneficial ways.

[candyprpl]

Originally Posted by RainofGold

Did I mention that he sent me a "vote no on prop 8 don't eliminate marriage for anyone." Did I take offense? I respect his stand on this and understand where's his coming from. Do I tell him is not Christ-like to be living a gay life? To have left the church, his priesthood? No, because I think that would be more insensitive of me.

Rain

I didn't see your mention of his 'vote No' -- maybe when you talk again, you could converse more on your differing positions -- and stress your love again and ask him to stress his love towards you, even though he disagrees with you. I think at this point I would ask that we not send each other anymore emails about the subject.

I think (IMO) that you drop the discussion about Christ-like behavior -- he was hurt and now you're hurt and that discussion will definitely just bring out un-Christ-like behavior.

*Hugs* I know this must be very difficult for you*hugs again*