Is this Christlike??

RainofGold · #1 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 12:02 PM

"Can't believe that some people would take away another's basic rights! AND still call themselves "Christlike".

This is what my little brother responded to a post that I forwarded about (protecting marriage) to all of my friends on my list. Yes my little brother who is gay was on this list and he responded very upset and hurt. I told him that I didn't just sent it to him but to everyone on my friends list and I also apologized if I hurt his feelings, but at the same time I reminded him where I stand on this matter. I don't want to hurt my relationship with him, he knows that I love him and even though I don't approve with his lifestyle he is and always be my little brother.

Is there anything else that I can do? Was that very insensitive of me to sent it to him?

Rainofgold

KeithLBrown · #2 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 12:34 PM

First of all, I don't feel that it was insensitive for you to send the post that your little brother received. You were stating your stand on an important issue and in such cases my counsel would always be to stand your ground and defend what you believe in. By the virtue of the fact that your little brother is a part of your "list", he has to realize that there may be some things that are posted that he may not agree with. I don't feel that you need to apologize for that or stop posting your stand on certain issues because of that. As long as you have done your best to make your brother understand that it was not a personal attack against him, and more importantly, as long he knows and understand that you love him, then all you can do is to keep loving him. Realize that sometimetimes people's feelings are going to get hurt because they may not agree with us, but at all costs, we must always choose the right and stand for what we believe.

Heather · #3 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 12:35 PM

That is tough. I think you handled it really well. if I was in your situation I would say "I love you and always will. There may be things we don't see eye to eye on, but that doesn't mean my feelings towards you change."

DeborahC · #4 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 01:41 PM

Well, I don't think you were insensitive.
And it's honestly NOT taking away anyone's rights.
Like I've already said, my gay son doesn't think he needs the right to "marry" because his rights are protected under other laws in Oregon. I'm not sure about other states.

Misshalfway · #5 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RainofGold

"Can't believe that some people would take away another's basic rights! AND still call themselves "Christlike".

This is what my little brother responded to a post that I forwarded about (protecting marriage) to all of my friends on my list. Yes my little brother who is gay was on this list and he responded very upset and hurt. I told him that I didn't just sent it to him but to everyone on my friends list and I also apologized if I hurt his feelings, but at the same time I reminded him where I stand on this matter. I don't want to hurt my relationship with him, he knows that I love him and even though I don't approve with his lifestyle he is and always be my little brother.

Is there anything else that I can do? Was that very insensitive of me to sent it to him?

Rainofgold

What is being Christlike anyway? Love everybody and let everybody do what they want without objection while we all touch fingers and hum? It is like my kids saying its not Christ-like for me to enforce a curfew.

I am in agreement that there was no intent to hurt anyone here. It is a choice to become offended. It appears to me that you sent an email to a mailing list and he happened to be on it. Being supportive of each other in spite of differences in philosophy and politics goes both ways, Imo.

Loudmouth_Mormon · #6 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RainofGold

"Can't believe that some people would take away another's basic rights! AND still call themselves "Christlike"

Basic rights are given by God. God is the guy who defines marriage as one man and one woman. The Author of agency has made it possible for gay folks to put their desires into practice, and I'm betting your 'protect marriage' stuff wasn't about making homosexual acts illegal. He's using words innapropriately. He doesn't want basic rights, he wants society to alter itself such that it accepts his lifestyle. That ain't a right.

Quote:

I don't want to hurt my relationship with him, he knows that I love him and even though I don't approve with his lifestyle he is and always be my little brother.

Is there anything else that I can do? Was that very insensitive of me to sent it to him?

If you were surprised that your gay brother would react strongly when you sent him a post "about protecting marriage", then yeah, it was pretty much insensitive. Had you been sensitive to your brother, you would have either not sent it to him, or not been surprised at his reaction.

Consider - your dear Baptist friend sent you anti-mormon material, and when you protested, she said: "I don't want to hurt our relationship, and you know I love you even though I think you're in a cult and going to hell, you are and always will be my friend."

Feel free to figure out whether this pretend friend's actions are appropriate or not - and then apply the same answer to your questions.

LM

mightynancy · #7 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 02:03 PM

How old is your brother? If he's of age, then yes, I think it was insensitive.

You've made your feelings known already, and he is responsible for himself. He knows you don't agree with how he lives. I'm sure it pains him, as evidenced by his response. I think his remark about being Christlike was off the mark (the Lord has made himself pretty clear!), but perhaps his barb came from feelings of hurt.

mightynancy · #8 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Consider - your dear Baptist friend sent you anti-mormon material, and when you protested, she said: "I don't want to hurt our relationship, and you know I love you even though I think you're in a cult and going to hell, you are and always will be my friend."

Feel free to figure out whether this pretend friend's actions are appropriate or not - and then apply the same answer to your questions.

This!

Elgama · #9 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 02:12 PM

if you can afford it send him a bunch of flowers - it wasn't a case of being unChristlike but imo it is insensitive. Its like my Christian friends that send me antimormon stuff or the week after my miscarriage nearly every hymn and message was related to children - neither is doing something awful but sometimes it can hurt my feelings. Learning not to take offence is something that takes time to master and isn't easy.

-Charley

Kirajo · #10 (**permalink**) 10-24-2008, 03:19 PM

I can see how he would be hurt. I can see how ALL homosexuals are hurt for that matter. But it's hard for them to understand that we aren't just trying to pass Prop 8 for the simple " homosexuality is wrong" idea. Drastic changes that WILL hurt the future of our country, schools and basic family lifestyles would most likely take place and for those reasons, we have to try our best to protect them. I think you handled it fine.