Getting Discouraged

nc31410 · #1 (**permalink**) 11-18-2008, 09:20 PM

Ok so here is my deal. I'm a convert and have been a member for about two years now. It was good for the first month I was very determined to change and make things right. After seeing my husband really not like going to church, I stopped going, hoping he'd ask or suggest we go back to church. It wasn't that way.
It wasn't until the missionaries came to my house and encouraged me to go back to church I did. It was great, I loved it. I set goals for myself like being able to go to the temple for my very first time. I did that, soon after I got my calling in Young Women! And I just kept going to church every sunday! Then I got my patriarichal blessing, and it was something truely amazing. My husband has been very supportive of all the things that I have accomplished so far! And I'm very greatful!
But now our ward has split up due to the rapid growth, and i'm no longer a young women teacher. Our church starts in the afternoon, and I see no problem with my husband ot join us in church now that it doesn't conflict with his tough work schedual. I'm nervous to talk to him about it. I invite him to church and he just doesn't want to come! I want him to asist church for the right reasons. Not because I "make" him. My next BIG goal is to get married in the temple, and get sealed to my family. But It seems like he is holding me back from accomplishing those goals. And I'm at that point where if I can't do that then I'll just stay in the same place until he decides to come around! And at this point I don't know what to do! Any feedback would be great and very much appreciated!! THANKS

BenRaines · #2 (**permalink**) 11-18-2008, 09:23 PM

Keep doing the things you know you should do, attend church, serve, read scriptures, prayer, etc. Take the children with you if you have children. Invite him, ask him if he would join the family at church, etc. He will either begin to join you or resist. You can only control what you do.

Good luck.

Ben Raines

a-train · #3 (**permalink**) 11-18-2008, 09:43 PM

What made you join the Church? Was it not because of the serious nature of the purpose of life and your desire to make good eternal decisions? Did you not feel the Spirit of the LORD and have desires to come unto Christ? Is He not calling you today to read the scriptures and pray so that He can speak with you?

What will we do when we arrive at the judgment bar? Will we be standing there in bright garments next to family and friends whom we were instrumental in bringing to the gospel? Will we be hoping to run and hide and wishing we had done what is right? Will we be mad at ourselves for losing our focus on what is important and being so shortsighted? Will we be standing next to the missionaries and friends who taught us the gospel?

These are all questions we can answer today. It is our choice. We all have our agency.

The path to inactivity, apostasy, and sin is simple: forget about eternity and focus on the present. Stop preparing for that great and terrible day and just quit reading, praying, going to meetings, and paying tithing. Allow the worldly pursuits that call on us here to take place of our heavenly pursuits. Above all, procrastinate. Let each Sunday be just one more before you go back. Let each night be just one more before you read the scriptures or say your prayers. In this manner, one day at a time, we become and remain inactive. Once we are fully inactive, our testimony is sure to be tried, for it will have little to stand on. And that is only the start of trouble.

God bless you and lift you up. Satan surely desires you. Run to Christ and take hold of Victory in Him. Do not procrastinate but choose ye this day.

-a-train

#4 (**permalink**) 11-18-2008, 11:37 PM

Hi nc,

When I reactivated in the church, my husband had no interest in reactivating with me. I said it was fine, but still felt sad without him there, and would be discouraged sitting in sacrament meeting alone, or in relief society during lessons about the temple and such. It helped that the members in our particular ward were so, so great, and I did keep asking and inviting him to come and meet them. When he finally did, instead of the rejection and judgmental attitudes he expected, he found love and approval... so when our bishop invited us to take the temple prep classes, we did and went through the temple a year after our inactive civil marriage.

Of course my story really might not have worked except for the fact that when he proposed, even though we were both inactive, I did ask what his intentions were with regard to the church and the temple, and he indicated that he would want to take me to the temple someday. At the time, that was good enough for me - although I'd probably have still married him even if he had expressed no interest.

The other thing I learned from this experience was what kind of member of the church I want to be: the kind who loves and supports my brothers and sisters in the ward no matter what their circumstances, just like those who were there when I needed their love and support.

Good luck nc... if the gospel makes you happy, I hope you stick with it, and be happy. I know there are other people in your situation, hopefully you know some and can be there for each other.

countrygirl66 · #5 (**permalink**) 11-19-2008, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nc31410

Ok so here is my deal. I'm a convert and have been a member for about two years now. It was good for the first month I was very determined to change and make things right. After seeing my husband really not like going to church, I stopped going, hoping he'd ask or suggest we go back to church. It wasn't that way.
It wasn't until the missionaries came to my house and encouraged me to go back to church I did. It was great, I loved it. I set goals for myself like being able to go to the temple for my very first time. I did that, soon after I got my calling in Young Women! And I just kept going to church every sunday! Then I got my patriarichal blessing, and it was something truely amazing. My husband has been very supportive of all the things that I have accomplished so far! And I'm very greatful!
But now our ward has split up due to the rapid growth, and i'm no longer a young women teacher. Our church starts in the afternoon, and I see no problem with my husband ot join us in church now that it doesn't conflict with his tough work schedual. I'm nervous to talk to him about it. I invite him to church and he just doesn't want to come! I want him to asist church for the right reasons. Not because I "make" him. My next BIG goal is to get married in the temple, and get sealed to my family. But It seems like he is holding me back from accomplishing those goals. And I'm at that point where if I can't do that then I'll just stay in the same place until he decides to come around! And at this point I don't know what to do! Any feedback would be great and very much appreciated!! THANKS

Just a thought, but would he have family prayer with you every day? Family prayer can invite the lord into the hearts of your family and touch each of them in a different way. Take care.

nc31410 · #6 (**permalink**) 11-19-2008, 08:38 PM

So after thinking about it, and praying about it in my head, I decided to bare my testimony for the first time on the first sunday of next month. I asked my hubbs if he'd come along. He said Yes! SO i'm nervous and excited at the same time. I think (as we have talked before) he has lost faith, I don't think he has felt the spirit strong enough to give him motivation to actually want to come back into church! Does anyone have any suggestions, idk if there is something that i could express to make sure he knws where i'm coming from and that i'm sincere? Anyways your comments are always appreciated!!!

mannisue · #7 (**permalink**) 11-20-2008, 10:28 AM

nc,

It's wonderful that your hubby is going to attend F & T meeting with you! I am so very happy for you.

The very best thing for you to do, I believe, is when you bear your testimony, relax and let the Spirit guide you. Keep a prayer in your heart over the next couple of weeks that you will be able to express what he needs to hear, and that the Spirit will touch him. Trust the Lord, and He won't fail you--He got you to this point, yeah?

Luv to you, sister,
mannisue

SisterofJared · #8 (**permalink**) 11-20-2008, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by a-train

What made you join the Church? Was it not because of the serious nature of the purpose of life and your desire to make good eternal decisions? Did you not feel the Spirit of the LORD and have desires to come unto Christ? Is He not calling you today to read the scriptures and pray so that He can speak with you?

What will we do when we arrive at the judgment bar? Will we be standing there in bright garments next to family and friends whom we were instrumental in bringing to the gospel? Will we be hoping to run and hide and wishing we had done what is right? Will we be mad at ourselves for losing our focus on what is important and being so shortsighted? Will we be standing next to the missionaries and friends who taught us the gospel?

These are all questions we can answer today. It is our choice. We all have our agency.

The path to inactivity, apostasy, and sin is simple: forget about eternity and focus on the present. Stop preparing for that great and terrible day and just quit reading, praying, going to meetings, and paying tithing. Allow the worldly pursuits that call on us here to take place of our heavenly pursuits. Above all, procrastinate. Let each Sunday be just one more before you go back. Let each night be just one more before you read the scriptures or say your prayers. In this manner, one day at a time, we become and remain inactive. Once we are fully inactive, our testimony is sure to be tried, for it will have little to stand on. And that is only the start of trouble.

God bless you and lift you up. Satan surely desires you. Run to Christ and take hold of Victory in Him. Do not procrastinate but choose ye this day.

-a-train

Thank you, a-train.

You may not know it, but this post was for me. I have been struggling in my ward. I don't feel like it is a ward family after 3 years, I have been told by others that many people feel it, that my bishop is aware of it and disturbed by it. But because of it, I have allowed myself to miss many meetings the past year. I have found myself less active than at any time in my life. I needed to read your words just now.

Hugs,

Sister of Jared

nc31410 · #9 (**permalink**) 11-20-2008, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SisterofJared

Thank you, a-train.

You may not know it, but this post was for me. I have been struggling in my ward. I don't feel like it is a ward family after 3 years, I have been told by others that many people feel it, that my bishop is aware of it and disturbed by it. But because of it, I have allowed myself to miss many meetings the past year. I have found myself less active than at any time in my life. I needed to read your words just now.

Hugs,

Sister of Jared

Funny how these things work eh?
I wish you the best!

SisterofJared · #10 (**permalink**) 11-20-2008, 08:52 PM

They do have a way of working out, don't they?

a-train responded to you, and the Lord prompted me to go into a forum I seldom visit.

I think the advice was good for both of us! LOL. And I will pray for your husband to be touched by the spirit when you testify to him and others at testimony meeting!

Sister of Jared