Where to start?

[TurkeyRun]

<point of reference – see my post in the Introduce Yourself section: New Guy>

So, after my wife and her daughter laughed themselves to tears at breakfast today about “the magic Mormon underwear”, I did get some decent conversation in with her (wife) this morning. We have agreed that she will not poke fun at my spiritual journey if I do the same to her. Fair enough – progress!

She has even been asking me about LDS beliefs, and seems to be in agreement with some of what I have learned regarding our existence before we got “here”, strong belief in family, education, and preparedness. I’m really not sure where she stands with Jesus Christ – she has some pretty whacked out ideas about something called The Course in Miracles if anyone is familiar with that. But, I digress.

Where do I start? I’ve read through most of the Book of Mormon, I already have a pretty strong background in the Holy Bible from my days as a Baptist. I’m about ½ way through Jesus the Christ. I picked up a copy of Mormonism for Dummies today (20% off at Borders). I don’t think the Mrs would be ready for the nice young men in ties with nametags to start coming by though, she’d probably flip again.

I have located the local meetinghouse – should I just show up one Sunday? I almost did today but between my cold feet, the little progress I made with my wife this morning, and my bike in pieces in the garage, I made enough excuses to blow it off.

I know y’all are pretty formal. I don’t have a suit except for the one I keep for funerals and court , I don’t think it fits anymore anyway. Would a shirt, tie, and sweater-vest be OK? What kind of reception will a guy in a beard and middle-of-the-back pony tail get? I have resigned myself to showing up in my pickup instead of the Harley One of my coworkers says I get away with some of the stuff I do, because “you’re the big scary guy”

Man, I’m nervous – should I just stay here in my den and keep reading and praying? Am I doing this all wrong? I don't know of any LDS folks nearby, I know one guy from college that I think I can track down.

What to do?

Thanks for letting me dump all my hang-ups on ya......

[BenRaines]

Nothing sounds out of the ordinary here. Sure some will look at you depending on what part of the country you are in.

You can just show up. Ask who the Bishop is and seek him out and I am sure he will make sure you are introduced around.

Ben Raines

[myway]

Hi,
It is so cool that your wife will at least let you go to the Church. I ahve not even thought about asking mine. The local Chapel meets in Huntington Indiana on a temporary basis, THey are doing some renovations at the Chapel near where I live. I am hoping to be able to get over there and get some pictures o fhte Chapel. A "before and after", of the Chapel prior to completion. I guess they are projecting it to be finished sometim around May from what I hear. I am hoping that maybe the Wife will be O.K. with me going by then. I keep prayerful.

From what I have been told a simple shirt an tie will do fine. I do not have a lot of dress clothes myself. But I do have a couple of white shirts and ties along with a couple pairs of Dockers for good measure. Heck I am excited for you!

When you do get to go please let us know what your experience is will you? I would not think anyone would get on you about the ponytail.

Let us know how it goes.

[BackInBrownBeanr]

"Magic Mormon underwear," hmm? Yeah, that's not the first time I've heard that, and I doubt it'll be the last. Don't sweat that kind of thing; look on the bright side, at least the topic of your beliefs doesn't result in outright hostility and she's perfectly okay with you going to church. Though it might surprise you to know this, that's not a particularly common situation. Take advantage of the opportunity and the blessing that you have to attend church without being slammed for it, you know what I mean?

Your idea of formal wear sounds just fine to me. Haha, and I for one think you should ride the Harley (did someone tell you not to?). Church is really not the uptight affair that it may seem like at times. Sure, respect and reverence are a big part of it, but that doesn't mean there's no room for being yourself. Be outgoing, crack a joke here and there, laugh heartily, give back-slapping hugs, you know the drill. With time, you'll feel more and more comfortable and hopefully strike that balance between solemn spirituality and magnetic personality.

[TurkeyRun]

When you do get to go please let us know what your experience is will you?

Sure will!

[TurkeyRun]

Originally Posted by BackInBrownBeanr

Though it might surprise you to know this, that's not a particularly common situation. Take advantage of the opportunity and the blessing that you have to attend church without being slammed for it, you know what I mean?

So I'm beginning to gather! Maybe it turns out that I have one of the more understanding and open wives around here! It's really kind of ironic, she goes on about accepting everyone and their beliefs - then gets all hostile/mocking about LDS. But really, I guess the questions I have are more about my next steps.

I know I kind of led off with all the resistance at home, but it's probably really all about me.

Your idea of formal wear sounds just fine to me. Haha, and I for one think you should ride the Harley (did someone tell you not to?).

No, not at all. Let's just say that arriving anywhere with my bike is a tad less than subtle and indiscrete

Church is really not the uptight affair that it may seem like at times. Sure, respect and reverence are a big part of it, but that doesn't mean there's no room for being yourself. Be outgoing, crack a joke here and there, laugh heartily, give back-slapping hugs, you know the drill. With time, you'll feel more and more comfortable and hopefully strike that balance between solemn spirituality and magnetic personality.

Cool - I can do that!

Thanks,

~bc

[MarginOfError]

I might use a few terms that are unfamiliar to you. I'll try to explain them at the end of the post.

My dad serves on the High Council in his stake. He rides a Harley, and yes, his entrances are very indiscrete. He loves it. So do the youth and most of the other men, for that matter. A lot of the women just kind of shake their heads and smile. So anyway, on Sundays when my dad has to travel to other wards to speak, he often rides the Harley. If the Stake leaders feel comfortable riding a Harley to Church, I think you should too.

In fact, the way my dad decided to buy a Harley was pretty amusing. He was having a conversation with the Stake President and my dad mentioned he was thinking about buying a Corvette. The Stake President said, "No, I really think you should buy a Harley instead. You'll love it so much more." My dad wasn't about to ignore the counsel of his leaders.

Earlier this year, my dad was interviewed by a leader from Salt Lake as a potential candidate for the new Stake President. We tried really hard to get him to ride the Harley to the interview, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

So, in my opinion, you should definitely ride the Harley to church, and wear as much leather on your entrance as you can. A shirt and tie with nice pants under the chaps and jacket will be sufficient. But really, be you, and be true to yourself when you go. We conservative dressed and groomed mormons could really use a bit of non-conformity!


Ward--the primary unit of the church. Generally a congregation of 125 - 250 members

Stake--a group of wards, usually about 12, within a geographical area. Stake leadership is responsible for training and supporting ward leaders and programs.

High Council--the Stake Presidency is made up of three men, and they may call 12 additional men to the High Council to help them fulfill their duties. High Councilmen generally travel to different wards to speak, meet with local leaders, perform training, and handle situations that do not require the direct involvement of the Stake Presidency

Did I use any other funny words?

[tubaloth]

Where do I start? I’ve read through most of the Book of Mormon,

What is most?

Keep reading. Its like you have already started.

So whats your thoughts on the whole Joseph Smith first vision?

I don’t think the Mrs would be ready for the nice young men in ties with nametags to start coming by though, she’d probably flip again.

This is the goal, this is what you want to have happen. Have you talked to her about it. Have you tried to figure out ways that maybe they can come by?

I have located the local meetinghouse – should I just show up one Sunday?

If you want to. This seems like the next step for you. This is going to get the missionaries involved, but also you well get to know members, maybe some in your area. Even more this might give you a place to meet with the missionaries. You could go to one of the members house (Bishop, Ward Mission Leader). So the goal is to start talking to the missionaries, but going to church is a step in the right direction.

Would a shirt, tie, and sweater-vest be OK?

Yes, that is perfectly fine. You probably well stand out some anyways. That’s to be expected! Us Mormons can smell a “new guy” a mile away. Wear whatever well make you feel comfortable. You might need to buy some better clothes down the line, but for now this is perfectly fine!

What kind of reception will a guy in a beard and middle-of-the-back pony tail get?

You won’t know unless you try!

Man, I’m nervous – should I just stay here in my den and keep reading and praying?

You aren’t going to get far on your “Spiritual Journey” staying in the den. You have made the first few steps. Now its time to keep moving forward. You realized going down this road isn’t going to be easy, or always be in your comfort zone. Its time, a new year! A good time to start the next step in the journey!

Good Luck!

[Vanilla]

A shirt, tie, and sweater-vest is totally appropriate. When my brother-in-law decided to go to church, he only had work jeans and leather biker pants, and he and my sister agreed that the leather pants looked better, so he showed up in his leathers, with his long hair in a ponytail. (He left the Harley at home that first time too!) He said he got a few looks, but more than that, he got a lot of people introducing themselves and welcoming him because it was obvious he was new. A couple of years later, he got a calling to serve in the Bishopric, as a councilor to the Bishop, and the Bishop reminded him of how much of an impression my brother-in-law made his first day! Today my brother-in-law serves on the High Council, so beware of what can happen to an innocent man going to church in leather with a ponytail! :-)

All kidding aside, wear what makes you feel is most appropriate for you, and like MOE said above, go....be yourself. Sometimes it is hard to walk into a church alone, so if you want, most anyone on this board can tell you how to contact the missionaries and you can meet them there if you want. Then you would have someone to sit with, and they can answer any questions you might have.
Good luck to you! Please keep us posted.

[applepansy]

For the last month we have had an inactive member coming to church again. He's staying at an Alcoholic Rehab Camp within ward boundaries. He was baptized 30 years ago and hasn't been active since. When he was accepted at the Camp he called Church Headquarters and had his records sent to our ward.

He wears clean jeans and a clean sweatshirt, with tennis shoes. He is accepted and welcomed. Last week he said he felt like he should dress nicer, so the RS president found a white shirt and tie for him.

Somebody might look sideways at you, but for the most part you'll be welcomed warmly. I'm sure the leathers and Harley will draw the attention of the Young Men.

applepansy