Looking for help?

[pushka]

I attended 2 meetings as a support companion to others in my ward. The manual is useful for anybody who believes in a 'higher being' such as God or Allah etc. and who is willing to have faith that they will help with the problems being experienced.

[InnerGold]

This is true. The manual does focus on a higher being because we are much less. The manual also focuses on training the brain to control the triggers and increase the strength of the pre-frontal cortex. The logical thinking portion of the brain. This is crucial.

Thank you Pushka. I would appreciate any feedback for improving our system. Please send me a private message of feedback.

[Berean]

Peer support can be a wonderful thing if done right and a friend and I are starting up a peer support group I will not go into further for fear of hijacking the thread. This does sound good and there is one in my ward. (the relevant one to this thread I mean)

[ram26236]

I don't know if this is the right way of finding help for my specific problem. It has to do with gossip coming from a branch president's wife...It's hurting the whole branch, and I am the one that had the guts to say something about it. She has declared war to me, and I want this whole thing stoped. Can someone help?

[InnerGold]

What is the gossip centered around? Not looking for specifics, just some generalities.

[ram26236]

well, I am not sure that is a matter of what is being said, but that this person has a very strong personality, and every one is afraid of saying anything to her. She is also involved into politics, and I believe she has mre power that she apears.
I was called as a R.Soc. president, and had to deal with her negativity on a dayly basis. Has to save women member of the ward from getting involved into her gossip.
One day, she started asking for food donations inside the chapel on a sunday. I asked wat for, and all I got was, "It's just for an activity we are having".

For 4 weeks she asked over and over for the donations....no one responded. I finally said to her as she interrupted her husband who was trying to give a talk during Sacrament meeting..."I am sorry,I forgot" She got offended, and since then she has just made my life in the branch very chalenging. (I found out 2 days later, that she wanted the food donations, so that she could help the town's mayor with treats for the kids for 3 kings day.)
She is also the mother of the Stake president in my Stake...Big thing going on, now...

[ram26236]

I tried to ask for forgiveness twice. Things get worse every time. Yeserday, I tried gving her a hug, and she started a big fight infront of lots of people. The Pre. of the branch doesn't talk to me, and since I can't be working without the guide of the priesthood, I asked to be reliest....which they did on the spot. I feel like I am going to get suspended for no reason....What to do?

[InnerGold]

I wished I could give you a quick answer that would solve everything. Unfortunately, a problem like this is what caused many to not go to church in Michigan. We, missionaries, had to do a lot of damage control. The Branch President was released, etc... This is an ugly situation.

If you recall something similar with Thomas B. Marsh.

I will council with some of my associates and give you any advice we may have.

Here are some obvious ones, maybe you have done them, maybe not:
Fasted for resolution
Gone to the temple
Talked to the Stake President (he may understand having dealt with her his whole life)

Whatever you do, keep a good, positive attitude. Easier said than done, I know!

[ram26236]

Apriciated really and trully.

[jiminycricket]

Ram, if you're still around and still dealing with this problem, I'd invite you to consider these thoughts -

1. Have you talked over the entire situation with your branch president? If you haven't, that seems to be the next logical step. You said he isn't talking to you, and that's a serious problem that needs to be addressed if it persists, but perhaps he'll let you speak to him and you can start there. Set up an appointment with his executive secretary and ask him (the exec sec) to schedule you at a time when you can take a while if needed. In the interview, start at the very beginning and talk about the whole situation. Don't forget to talk about his feelings toward you. You have a right to know if your priesthood leader has ill feelings toward you. Hopefully this will open up some dialog and bring about some healing.

If that doesn't bring a solution and your priesthood leader still harbors ill feelings toward you (and you need to be absolutely certain that that's the case) then InnerGold is right, you should seriously consider involving your branch president's priesthood leader. In an interesting twist, the stake president turns out to be the son of your branch president and the woman at the center of your problem. That seems on the surface to be a problem, but it might not be so if your stake president is humble enough to take the situation seriously. In fact, it could turn to your favor - As InnerGold mentioned, being their son he is probably very familiar with the character flaws in your branch president and his wife. He'll find your story very believable and and be very able to empathize with you. Perhaps he'd be able to help all three of you understand each other's feelings and perspectives better. He may even discover in praying about the situation that the time has come for calling a new branch president (although that's not something you should ask for). And if you aren't able to resolve it with the stake president, then you might consider going to the next rung up on the chain of authority (I think this would be the Area President, but I'm not certain).

To be clear, I don't know what kinds of things this sister has done to make your church life so difficult, but I don't see that as the major problem here. The reason I'm recommending such an acute response is that the situation seems to have created a rift in your relationship with your priesthood leader - and more particularly, in his feelings toward you. It's a problem when someone has ill feelings toward their priesthood leader, but it's a much bigger problem when it's the priesthood leader nursing those kinds of feelings toward those he's supposed to shepherd and allowing that to affect his decisions. Then his leaders (the leader's leaders) need to know about it and ensure that it is corrected.

2. Be open to the possibility that you might have perceived things differently than they were meant or intended. Be ready to accept responsibility for anything you might have said or done which might have contributed to the situation - even if only because others misperceived it. Be ready to forgive. Be ready to love and support and sustain again. As the late Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, one of the tests of discipleship is to drink from the bitter cup, without becoming bitter.

3. Take comfort in knowing that neither bishops nor stake presidents are given absolute authority to suspend (take official disciplinary action against) anyone. If you are unjustly disciplined, you can appeal to higher authority in the Church. Plus, in order to do any such thing to you, they would have to hold a special council involving the branch president's counselors and a couple others if done at the branch level, and the stake president's counselors and the entire stake high council if done at the stake level. I'd be very surprised if they took it that far.

4. If you'd like further advice from forum members here, you need to start a new thread on the advice board with an appropriate title. That will get you more responses from more people. Describe the problem as you've done in this thread, and synopsize the advice you've already received (to prevent duplicate advice). Then edit your first post in this thread, adding that you've started a separate thread for your issue, giving the title of the new thread, and advising those who wish to respond to do so in that new thread.

God bless you.

Jiminy