Need Advice To Save My Marriage

[working-girl]

I have been married for a little over 3 years. I was very active in the church until I married my husband. He told me if I married him outside the temple that we would go through in a year. We have been through the temple prep classes twice and he told me a year ago he doesn't want to go through the temple right now and he doesn't know if he ever does. He's started going to the bar with his friends and everytime we go over to friends houses thats all they due. I'm ready to start a family but I'm not bringing children into this world unless they have an eternal family. Does anyone have any suggestions. Please help me.

[cedar]

Well it is a civil marriage. So it is a lot easier to get out of than an eternal marriage. Lose him. Good thing you don't have kids yet.

PS- I am very insensitive.

[Jenda]

Working girl, it kind of sounds like he lied to you to get you to marry him. I would sit down now and talk about what is really important to you, what is important to him, and see where that leaves you, if anything. Maybe you have both changed in ways neither of you realized and aren't the same people you were when you got married. That often happens, and you need to work out your new personalities into your relationship.

I say, don't give up yet, but put some serious discussion time in the (very) near future into the plans.

[Joshua5916]

Talk to Fernando Martinez. He is a miracle worker I tell you. I married a bus of a woman and Fernando brought the passion back into my life. Now I don't feel like throwing up every time I wake up in the morning.

[cedar]

Originally posted by Joshua5916@Mar 8 2004, 11:11 PM
Talk to Fernando Martinez. He is a miracle worker I tell you. I married a bus of a woman and Fernando brought the passion back into my life. Now I don't feel like throwing up every time I wake up in the morning.

I was laughing so hard when I read this!

Originally posted by Joshua5916@Mar 8 2004, 10:11 PM
Talk to Fernando Martinez. He is a miracle worker I tell you. I married a bus of a woman and Fernando brought the passion back into my life. Now I don't feel like throwing up every time I wake up in the morning.

LOL...what the heck? Geeze....man....LOL

[Faerie]

Question: Where you two sexually involved prior to marriage? Sounds like this guy just wanted to get laid!!

Here's my take, since I have had a civil marriage that turned into an eternal marriage:

DON'T HAVE KIDS UNTIL YOU'RE SEALED..you OWE your children that right! You didn't have to marry him, you could have said "I'm not marrying outside of the temple." Maybe you wanted to get laid too?

Sit down w/ him and let him know how important an eternal marriage is to you (if it is). Tell him that he should respect you more than just a "time only" marriage. If he doesn't want an eternal marriage, find someone who does. Eternity is more important than booze and sex.

Talk to your bishop, by yourself. Clearly there's more to this picture than meets the eye and maybe you have some things that need to be worked out. You have to decide how important this is to you.

And lastly: PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!

Best of luck!!! I look back on when my marriage was civil only and I pale.

[Ammon]

Ever heard the country song that says, "Men don't change?" Believe it. GET OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE.

[Behunin]

Originally posted by Ammon@Mar 19 2004, 08:59 PM
Ever heard the country song that says, "Men don't change?" Believe it. GET OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE.

Good advice!

[curvette]

I'm normally very pro marriage. In a situation like this though where there are no children, hubby is still very much a little boy who doesn't seem to think he's married and wife is getting very serious about religion: I say get out and move on!