I'm so tired of not being tired of sin....

[qedd]

Originally Posted by LostSheep

Okay, prepare to hear pointless rambling.....

Anything from the heart is not pointless.

But dang it, I need to face that I'm still the same person I was a year ago.

Are you are the same person? Or do you suffer from the same weaknesses? I am certain you have been growing and changing in many ways.

I feel like such a hypocrite.

Don't we all? Though, I have to ask -- in what way do you feel that you are an hypocrite? Do you judge and look down on others that are fighting the same temptations you are fighting?

I'm not writing this post to throw a pity party...Or tear myself down. I need to be careful of that. I know that's Satan's #1 tool. Self hate. I wish that "Lostsheep" was merely a name....I hope someday it will be.

We can be our own worst enemies and harshest critic. There is a reason we have to constantly remind ourselves and others around us that one of the final steps of repentance is to forgive ourselves and move on.

Here's my question. What do you do when temptation strikes you so hard, it seems like you have already given in before doing anything? There HAS to be a way to get through those 5 minutes.

Note: From the way you phrased your post I assume this isn't an abstract question about all temptations, but rather a specific temptation, or class of temptations, that you repeatedly confront. With that in mind...

What was going on during the five minutes before those unbearable five minutes of temptation? What about the five minutes before that? What about the hours or days leading up to the temptation? Look for patterns, rituals, or routines in your life. Look at the past few times you have been in this situation and work back through the events (including thoughts, daydreams, emotions, stressful situations, etc.) leading up to the unbearable temptation -- is there anything in common?

If you can identify one or more chain of events that often lead to such temptation, then you can come up with an action plan for each of those preceding events. The more preceding events you can identify (some of which may be temptations themselves) and plan for, the more opportunity you will have to avoid the big temptation.

Do you have any immediate family members or friends nearby that are aware of your specific weaknesses, temptations, compulsions, addictions, etc.? If so, then asking them for moral strength during such times might be a helpful part of one or more of these action plans.

A reminder isn't enough sometimes. I have 5 pictures of Christ on my wall, and I ALWAYS wear a CTR ring. It's not enough. People say you need to put 100% trust in Christ...But how? How do I do that?

Can you explain what putting "100% trust in Christ" means to you?

I know that I'm not going to get a magic answer.

Ah, if only...

Take care.

[Hemidakota]

Originally Posted by LostSheep

Okay, prepare to hear pointless rambling.....


I want to serve a mission. But dang it, I need to face that I'm still the same person I was a year ago. I feel like such a hypocrite. I try to help others when I can't help myself. I'm not writing this post to throw a pity party...Or tear myself down. I need to be careful of that. I know that's Satan's #1 tool. Self hate. I wish that "Lostsheep" was merely a name....I hope someday it will be.

Here's my question. What do you do when temptation strikes you so hard, it seems like you have already given in before doing anything? There HAS to be a way to get through those 5 minutes. A reminder isn't enough sometimes. I have 5 pictures of Christ on my wall, and I ALWAYS wear a CTR ring. It's not enough. People say you need to put 100% trust in Christ...But how? How do I do that?

I know that I'm not going to get a magic answer. Also, please realize the main reason I'm writing this thread is to gather all my thoughts and emotions. Thank you everyone who has supported me. I only wish I could at least show you that I care. And I do.

If nothing I wrote makes sense, well....I've been awake for 36 hours now. Give me a break. I'm going to bed now....Good night.

There is nothing wrong on how you feel. My son went through trials of fire and struggled even on his first part of his mission. It was later, when everything began to click and his mind began to see clearly. How did this happen? He simple followed GOD's will and put his trust in the Savior daily.