Hunger for Sin

LostSheep · #1 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 12:37 AM

I've realized something about my pornography addiction. It doesn't control my mind or my body as much as it controls my heart. When I give into temptation, it usually does not start with a thought or an action. It's hard to explain the way I feel when I go without it. Pushing it out of my head doesn't work any better than telling a starving man to not think about food. I literally begin to feel an emptiness in my heart. A hunger. I can try to think about other things, but the hunger lingers. I don't understand. Do I have to put up with this feeling of "starvation" for the rest of my life?

I can't do it. I can't feel like this for the rest of my life. I don't know what to do. Please. Any advise would be appreciated.

Hemidakota · #2 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 07:27 AM

It does...all sin we do is first acted in the mind prior to accomplishing the actual sin itself. Now, if you succumb to the thought, do you not think action follows it? It will....

Stop making excuses and seek help...we are all sinners before the Master but seeking help and having the desire to be like the Master is the step forward in ones life then complaining and whining. Last, you need to have your place of rest blessed. I suspect there are minions who are cohabitating with you.

Generally_Me · #3 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 08:20 AM

Our bishop set my husband up with an addiction class that meets locally; does your ward/stake/whatever have something similar?

sixpacktr · #4 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 10:02 AM

My thoughts exactly. Our Stake Presidency had the addiction recovery folks come in and do a 60 min presentation on how the program works. I must say that I was impressed and the spirit was strong.

I would urge you to see this help IF you truly want to overcome this. If you don't, then this won't work any better than anything else. The Savior is there to help you, but you have to make the first move yourself.

Misshalfway · #5 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 10:30 AM

It has lied to your heart and you have believed it. Satan is a clever manipulator and he has you all blinded and softened your conscience as he has fettered you in the process.

You need to unwind the lies, dear friend. That is the purpose of the workbooks I have discussed so often.

Again, I wonder if Stephen Cramer's book might be a good read. "Putting on the Armor of God: How to win your battles with Satan." And you know I am gonna ditto everything the above posters have said.

Is it really true that you don't know what to do?

LostSheep · #6 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Generally_Me

Our bishop set my husband up with an addiction class that meets locally; does your ward/stake/whatever have something similar?

I'm already taking an addiction recovery class.

Misshalfway · #7 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 11:07 AM

Let me ask you this, LS...... What mechanism(s) do you have in place to hold you to accountability?

LostSheep · #8 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misshalfway

Let me ask you this, LS...... What mechanism(s) do you have in place to hold you to accountability?

well, my parents know...

Just_A_Guy · #9 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 11:51 AM

LostSheep -

They say that viewing pornography releases some of the same chemicals into your brain as heroin does. Moreover, viewing pornography is a stress-coping mechanism. The pornography has ingratiated itself into your spiritual and neurological functions, and to really get away from it you're going to have to detoxify. It's going to take at least a couple of months, maybe longer. At times you may have to be physically restrained in one way or another from going after it (install internet filters for which you don't know the password; stay with friends/family members; etc). That's why it's so important to get a close friend involved with your struggle--you need someone who you can call at 2:30 in the morning when you can't sleep and the computer's down the stairs . . . and who will, if necessary, drive over to your house and bang on your door until you let them in, and sit up with you until you're able to drift off to sleep.

It will be pure Hell. But yes, things will get easier eventually.

DigitalShadow · #10 (**permalink**) 07-10-2009, 12:13 PM

From my secular viewpoint, I think a lot of that hunger you describe is just natural human sex drive. It will become more controllable with age and when you get married it will suddenly become A LOT more controllable and won't dominate your thoughts once there is an acceptable release for those feelings. At least that's the way it happened with me. In any case, I guarantee that it will not feel like this for the rest of your life.