Are....you....kidding me?

[Bini]

I agree with FT. His infidelity might be his way out of the relationship. But he wants YOU to call it.


Sorry to hear about this but hope you find the strength to move on. I did and I'm much happier now.

[Carl62]

Despite what you say about your husband looks, I'm still surprised that it's happened four times in six months! Even rock stars and movies stars can hold out waaay longer than that without having an affair. What I'm surprised about even more is that you're willing to put up with it. Why?! What YOU need to do is go get some counseling so that you get up enough courage and confidence to kick the loser out and move on with your life, especially for the sake of your kid(s). IF that is you in your avatar (and I assume it is), you look young enough that it would not be too late to start over and find somebody who'll make you happy and give you a lot of love and respect. Don't continue to keep putting yourself through this hell. If you get the backbone to kick him out NOW, in five years you'll be so glad you did, especially if you do end up meeting Mr. Right during that time and as I said before, at your age, you're definitely young enough to start over and give yourself a new and better life. Guarantee it! In ten years from now, he'll be nothing but a distant memory. Stay strong, and my prayers are with you.

[Elphaba]

Rachelle,

That sucks! (I would use another word but I'd get in trouble and you probably don't want to hear it either. But it is and it does!)

Elphaba

[jadams_4040]

Originally Posted by RachelleDrew

After all the nonsense I dealt with in my marriage, after taking my husband back and forgiving him for his many infidelities. I thought things were getting better.

Not.

Just found out he's been having yet ANOTHER affair at work over the last few weeks. One of the other teachers.

I'm seriously at a loss.

Not really advice, just needed to shout for a bit.

Racheal you are a much better person than to have to constantly endure this crap; there is somone out there whom will fall in "true" love with you someday; leave this bum cause thats all he is.

[omchance]

Amen, sister!

[MorningStar]

Whatever reason he has for cheating on you, your health is in danger. I'm not going to tell you to leave him, but don't allow him to jeopardize your health.

[prisonchaplain]

If the concern is money, go into debt, go bankrupt if necessary. Do not let manna keep you from the life Heavenly Father means you to have. Unfaithfulness, regardless of underlying psychological causes, is the one reason even Jesus allows for divorce. He's already ripped your relationship apart for times. Each time, the healing leaves scars. If you know you need to leave but believe you can't afford to right now...you can't afford not to.

If there are other reasons, by all means, work through this with some godly personal counsel. Don't go it alone. Bless you during this horrific stretch of life's journey.

[rameumptom]

My wife's ex-husband was manipulative, as well. He really had a lot of people convinced how wonderful he was, even while cheating on her and abusing her (some physical, mostly emotional).
Your best bet for happiness is to leave him. Talk to your bishop and a few lawyers. It may be that they can help you financially get a divorce. The legal divorce will be beneficial to you, as it will force him to pay both child support AND alimony. Any guy that cheats on a faithful wife deserves to pay alimony, IMO (and many judges agree).

This will also prevent him from taking assets that you currently share. And if he gets into big debt, you will not be responsible for it, if you are divorced.

Finally, once divorced, you are back on the market to find a true and eternal companion, someone who will be honest and cherish you, take care of you, and give you the good life you deserve.

All of these are strong reasons for seeking the divorce, even if it is financially tough to do right now.

[talisyn]

I'm sorry

I'm not gonna tell you to divorce the bum, or burn all his stuff in the front yard ( ), but if you were my sister/cousin/niece I would advise you to start doing some heavy-duty financial and legal protecting. If he's this irresponsible in regards to physical issues he's probably doing the same money-wise. Cancel joint credit cards, try to pay off joint loans etc. Your bishop should be able to set you up with lawyers who would be able to give you some kind of a break with payments.

In a way it's fortunate this isn't the first time. Your bishop knows what you've been going though and may be able to give you even more help than before. Even if he can't, he can set you up with stuff like LDS social services and the Bishop's Storehouse as needed. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help! Many hugs and mugs of hot chocolate to you during this time.

[rameumptom]

Originally Posted by talisyn

I'm sorry

I'm not gonna tell you to divorce the bum, or burn all his stuff in the front yard ( ), but if you were my sister/cousin/niece I would advise you to start doing some heavy-duty financial and legal protecting. If he's this irresponsible in regards to physical issues he's probably doing the same money-wise. Cancel joint credit cards, try to pay off joint loans etc. Your bishop should be able to set you up with lawyers who would be able to give you some kind of a break with payments.

This won't help. If he makes a contract, she's legally bound to it, also. If he takes out his own credit cards and runs them up, as long as she is married to him, they can and will go after her for them. If he doesn't pay his taxes, the IRS can go after her for the taxes.

If he cannot be trusted, then she needs to totally separate from him. And he cannot be trusted. One time sin can be forgiven. Maybe even twice. But four times? It's time to divorce, so she can protect herself financially from this bum.