What to do when you get no answer to prayer?

[Hemidakota]

Originally Posted by MormonMama

Well, that's what I've done. I guess I just didn't word it right in my post, but I've told Him that I want to quit my job and why and asked if that decision is right. When I got no answer I asked if I should remain with the job for now and still got no answer.

Adding to Pam's post - follow the same example of what the Lord told to Joseph Smith -

Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given from me. (D. & C. 9:7-9)

[MormonMama]

First of all, thank you to everyone for your support and advice. I really need it right now, and am very grateful for it.

Originally Posted by Hemidakota

Adding to Pam's post - follow the same example of what the Lord told to Joseph Smith -

Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given from me. (D. & C. 9:7-9)

But I HAVE studied it out in my mind. I've been thinking about this for weeks, and DH and I have talked about it repeatedly. I'd originally made the decision to quit and asked HF if that was the right choice. When I got no answer, I assumed that meant that He wanted me to stay at my job, but when I asked about that I didn't feel I got any answer either. So I'm very confused as to whether He is answering me or not, or maybe my emotions are just so worked up about this right now that I can't discern the answer.

As for babysitting, I would LOVE to. I've done it in the past, but now that I'm in school my schedule just doesn't seem to work for anyone. I have a morning, an afternoon and an evening class four days a week (two evenings and two afternoons, all four mornings), and most people I've talked to about it need someone all day every day. And quitting school isn't an option because I'll lose my financial aid (I'm on probation, and the FA office gave me written notice that if I fail or drop even one class, I will not only have to pay back the aid I've already received, I will never be allowed to receive any more). Since finishing my degree and getting a better job in a field I like is my long-term goal, I don't want to jeopardize that for a part-time job I hate.

DH is willing to work more hours at his second job (they wanted to make him a manager this summer, but he lost out because he had to be home with the kids while I worked, so he didn't have the availability to take the necessary classes), but we're not sure he'll get enough hours to make up for the income I will lose.

And I definitely plan to discuss this with our bishop. We're already getting help from the church, and have been for some time. I would have a very hard time looking him in the eye and saying, "We need even more help because I quit my job!" So I know we need to talk to him about it first.

But I honestly feel so stressed when I even think about going to work at this job. It's not that they don't treat me well. They do. I'm amazed that I haven't been written up or fired yet for all the work I've missed. I've been told numerous times that I do a great job. But I absolutely despise the type of work I'm doing (customer service). I've been doing it for 20 years and I hate it so much that I feel like crying or breaking something when I have to go to work. I just want to scream and I feel like I'd rather be in a car accident or hospitalized than spend one more day at this job. The last time I felt like that on a job I actually started fighting with customers. I don't want things to escalate to that point again.


ETA: I just called to make an appointment with my bishop, but I can't get in to see him until Sunday the 11th! It's either that or take a night off work, but I don't know if I can wait that long.

[Bini]

I'm BP and used to get sooo stressed and depressed over my previous job. I stuck it out for several months and hated it. Wasn't long until this job took a heavy toll on my overall health (mentally and physically) and on my marriage. It got to the point where I couldn't do it any more and my husband agreed that I should quit. Immediately, I was relieved and my marriage was better. At this time, we were also a bit tight on money and being unemployed wasn't on my priority list. But as a couple, we decided that it was best for me to leave this job and heal and get healthy again. It just wasn't worth destroying my life and my marriage.


Glad you made an appointment with your Bishop :] I'm sure he'll advise you well on this.

[MormonMama]

Originally Posted by Bini

I'm BP and used to get sooo stressed and depressed over my previous job. I stuck it out for several months and hated it. Wasn't long until this job took a heavy toll on my overall health (mentally and physically) and on my marriage. It got to the point where I couldn't do it any more and my husband agreed that I should quit. Immediately, I was relieved and my marriage was better. At this time, we were also a bit tight on money and being unemployed wasn't on my priority list. But as a couple, we decided that it was best for me to leave this job and heal and get healthy again. It just wasn't worth destroying my life and my marriage.


Glad you made an appointment with your Bishop :] I'm sure he'll advise you well on this.

I've had more than one person tell me that they think I'm bi-polar (and not in a joking way). I've wondered about it myself. Looking back on my life, it would not surprise me at all.

What you described with your job is exactly what I am going through right now. I definitely felt a lot better when I wasn't working outside the home. Now I am on edge all the time, and on the days I have to work I just feel like I could snap at anytime.

I've also been getting really bad headaches, the kind where the pain is so bad you vomit or feel like you're going to. I've had those for awhile now, but they've definitely gotten worse in the past few months. I'm wondering if they're being triggered by the stress I've been feeling lately.

I have a doctor appointment scheduled next week to follow up on the headaches, but I'm going to see if I can move it to this week. The headaches are almost every day now. I'm also going to talk to him about the possibility that I'm BP as well.

[FairChild]

I take care of elderly and disabled people in their home and have a very flexible work schedule. It might be something you could look into. I am a PSS, Personal Support Specialist and to begin working at my job, you can begin it with on the job training until you can take some classes (I did mine on-line), ususally the company sets it up and payed for it. It is like bing a mom and a wife work wise. I wish you well.

[beefche]

MM, from your posts, I see someone who has NOT made a decision. What I see is a child going to her Father and saying, "I think I should quit...is this right? No? Ok, then I think I should stay at my job. Is this right? No? Ok...."

The D&C 9 scripture was already quoted. You and your husband--together--need to make an honest decision. One that you feel is the best decision. Then take that decision to the Lord--both of you singly and together. Fast about it even.

You'll get 1 of a possible 3 answers. One is a spiritual confirmation that you made the right choice. These feelings are different for each person, but some things that you might feel are joy, peace, happiness, pure knowledge, etc.

Second answer you get is a "no" or that "stupor" of thought. Here's the definition of stupor: 1. suspension or great diminution of sensibility, as in disease or as caused by narcotics, intoxicants, etc.: He lay there in a drunken stupor. 2. mental torpor; apathy; stupefaction.

So, a stupor (IMO) is when you don't feel right about your decision. Something hazy is in your feelings--maybe it's yes, maybe it's no kind of feeling. I'm sure others have other ways they feel that stupor.

Third answer is the sound of crickets. Nothing. No spiritual feelings of peace--no stupor or hazy feeling. Nishto. In this case, I personally believe that God is saying "I gave you a brain, make the best decision you can, and I'll support you in that decision." This is the one that is scary--a real test of faith.

[jadams_4040]

Originally Posted by MormonMama

I've wondered that myself, if the Lord is trusting me to make the right decision. But I'm not sure I trust me!

You cant never trust yourself in something like this; but the lord can; when we start to beleive we know something like this is correct or not that is a sign we are not truely humble. And God will humble you; and that isnt fun at all as you allready know i,m sure.

[LDSVALLEY]

1 The lord has a hard time giving us answers when we are very stressed. Both you and your husband should force some time together to be together, study scripture and calm your minds then the answer might come through.

2 IN the 80's a person I knew was going to loose the family home so he took on all the work to make ends meet. The high interest rates of the period were financially killing the family. By working every moment he could he ended up saving the home. But it was an empty shell, he lost the family. The kids thought he didn't care cause he was never around and the wife couldn't take the stress. He told me this in the 90's. He thought he was trying to save his family instead he realized it was the lifestyle and stuff. If your working interferes with your children quit. No matter what happens being there for them is most important. Kids don't think Mom or Dad is away work to provide for us, they think no one is around when I need them.

3 You said $400 per month, I assume this is take home pay. Have you looked at the income tax costs, travel expense, clothing, food etc. Add in related expenses that you have as a result of you working as well such as buying more prepared meals instead of scratch, more running around etc. We discussed my wife going back to work when the last child started school but when we looked at expected income deducted its effect on our Tax return and all the related expenses she would have cleared at best $150. per month. Not worth the grief to our family. After much searching and praying she found a stay at home job that clears with all related expenses $500+ month.

4 Some suggestions that people I know have done to increase income mostly from home.

a Dumster diving for cast off stuff to sell in yard sales. They averaged an extra $150 month.

b Taking some money and going to auctions where they have group items of misc boxes to go as one batch. My friends brother supported a family of 4 buying those groups seperating the few ebay items and flea marketing or yard selling the rest. He started out with $150.

c I went to business school with a guy who paid his tuition and supported himself with an interesting idea. He would advertise yard, basement, garage cleaning service. When he had jobs he would contact the local employment office and hire the required number of unemployed workers at minimum wage. He would meet them before school at the home leave rakes etc and a trailer to put the garbage in. (they provided own safety footwear etc and signed a waiver about not being insured.) When he finished class he would go collect the fee, pay off the workers then take the trailer of garbage home. He would seperate out the good stuff and have a friend sell it at yardsales on a 50-50 split or put it on ebay if it was worth it. The rest he hauled to the dump.

d My cousin and her husband have supported themselves for 15 years after being laid off from a government job by being smart. When crafts were huge they imported the raw items and sold them by mail from home. When that died down they made stuff sewing wood working etc and sold that at mini malls that are like permanent flea markets open 3-4 days a week. When that died down they used their old motor home to travel to various venues like parades, fairs etc selling popcorn and novelty food items. That started dieing down two years ago so they now are back in a mini mall selling breakfasts and lunches four days a week.

You might be surprised at what you can do around you to make money. Look for a need no matter how small and then fill it. You said your going to school part time is there a need the students have? Ive seen people go into second hand stores buy stuff students need and usually pay full price for cause they don't know any better. They sell it to the students at a cheaper cost for them and make a good profit for themselves.

Hope some of this helps. I do know the Lord does answer us, but in his time and way. Sometimes we have so much noise from stress etc going on we just can't hear it. Also sometimes he answers us through other people or things. I've had answers come as a combination of things from scripture study, home teaching and sacrament that all together gave me the answer.

Find peace for yourself and for your family. I understand financial crises especially now for our family as well. But I always think of that guy and his empty house.

[Gwen]

i'll admit i've not read every word of every post here. one of the big thoughts that have come to me is... are there ways you could get the money under control without the job. i completely understand the desire to go to school but is it prudent for your family right now? if you quit school and the job (for now) would the decreased cost of no school expenses let your husband's 2 incomes be enough? if you aren't stressed with school and the job what other things could you be doing in the home to help save money? what could you be doing for your kids in that time? i find the busier i get the worse off the grocery budget is. if i'm busy at night i buy easy to cook meals for the family... those typically cost more. when i'm not so stressed i can plan meals, plan shopping list and save us a lot on the groceries alone... then there are the gas costs of all the activities.... lots of little hidden costs laying around.

i'm not saying you should not get an education. but to everything there is a time and season. is now that time for you? it may be and i may be completely wrong. just questions that came to mind as i read through this.

my initial thoughts on why you aren't getting an answer.... one you already have your answer, as ppl have pointed out, what has the lord through his prophets told you about the family and where you should be?...... two you are still not asking the right question... you are asking about on thing spicificly. you may need to change several things in your life all at once. seriously consder everything and then take it to the lord.

[Soul_Searcher]

Maybe God doesn't answer prayers. He doesnt always, maybe you need to make the decision on your own.

Without sounding unsupportive, if you are working part time how many hours do you do a week? How is it you can go for days on end without seeing your family? I work more than full time and still manage it.

I think a lot of ther problem here is that women are conditioned in the church to stay at home all their lives and breed. Women working is sort of seen as a kind of last resort. Talks that say things like..'there may be times when the wife must seek employment outside of the home...' as if its to be avoided at all costs unless you are in rags and starving. Therefore when women such as yourself DO have to work you are stressed and guilt ridden. That is not normal. Both partners working full time in this day and age IS normal. Its not the '50s anymore, despite the image the church wants to portray.

I just feel that if working women in the church were accepted as a normal part of life, staying at home would be a choice not an expectation. That way, when stay at home Mums do have to work, it is not a big stressy headache to deal with. I think the OP might be suffering from some of this, though I could be wrong.

Just my opinion and observation.