What to do when you get no answer to prayer?

[Hemidakota]

Originally Posted by MormonMama

First of all, thank you to everyone for your support and advice. I really need it right now, and am very grateful for it.

But I HAVE studied it out in my mind. I've been thinking about this for weeks, and DH and I have talked about it repeatedly. I'd originally made the decision to quit and asked HF if that was the right choice. When I got no answer, I assumed that meant that He wanted me to stay at my job, but when I asked about that I didn't feel I got any answer either. So I'm very confused as to whether He is answering me or not, or maybe my emotions are just so worked up about this right now that I can't discern the answer.

As for babysitting, I would LOVE to. I've done it in the past, but now that I'm in school my schedule just doesn't seem to work for anyone. I have a morning, an afternoon and an evening class four days a week (two evenings and two afternoons, all four mornings), and most people I've talked to about it need someone all day every day. And quitting school isn't an option because I'll lose my financial aid (I'm on probation, and the FA office gave me written notice that if I fail or drop even one class, I will not only have to pay back the aid I've already received, I will never be allowed to receive any more). Since finishing my degree and getting a better job in a field I like is my long-term goal, I don't want to jeopardize that for a part-time job I hate.

DH is willing to work more hours at his second job (they wanted to make him a manager this summer, but he lost out because he had to be home with the kids while I worked, so he didn't have the availability to take the necessary classes), but we're not sure he'll get enough hours to make up for the income I will lose.

And I definitely plan to discuss this with our bishop. We're already getting help from the church, and have been for some time. I would have a very hard time looking him in the eye and saying, "We need even more help because I quit my job!" So I know we need to talk to him about it first.

But I honestly feel so stressed when I even think about going to work at this job. It's not that they don't treat me well. They do. I'm amazed that I haven't been written up or fired yet for all the work I've missed. I've been told numerous times that I do a great job. But I absolutely despise the type of work I'm doing (customer service). I've been doing it for 20 years and I hate it so much that I feel like crying or breaking something when I have to go to work. I just want to scream and I feel like I'd rather be in a car accident or hospitalized than spend one more day at this job. The last time I felt like that on a job I actually started fighting with customers. I don't want things to escalate to that point again.

ETA: I just called to make an appointment with my bishop, but I can't get in to see him until Sunday the 11th! It's either that or take a night off work, but I don't know if I can wait that long.

Assuming you asked if you should quit your job, if you received a 'stupor of thought,’ the first time when you asked, it mean’t you need to keep working for time and the Lord knows why. Question here, did the Holy Ghost confirm this?

Asking if the answer was correct was not conducive when it comes from the Lord. I suspect, He will not respond since the first answer was given.

If you are still doubting over what is received, you may need to fast on Sunday, in humility and sincerity approach the Lord with forgiveness in not understanding the answer that He would allow the Holy Ghost make a confirmation. I also assuming, you know what the Holy Ghost confirmation feels like…though, each person may feel different but is known when He does it.

[MormonMama]

Thank you again everyone. You don't know how much I appreciate all the support and advice. Time is short today, as I have to leave for a dental appointment in 10 minutes, so I'll respond as best I can.

Originally Posted by beefche

Third answer is the sound of crickets. Nothing. No spiritual feelings of peace--no stupor or hazy feeling. Nishto. In this case, I personally believe that God is saying "I gave you a brain, make the best decision you can, and I'll support you in that decision." This is the one that is scary--a real test of faith.

This is EXACTLY what I feel like I've gotten. DH says he feels the same way. I'm guessing this means that the Lord is leaving it up to us.

Originally Posted by Gwen

i completely understand the desire to go to school but is it prudent for your family right now? if you quit school and the job (for now) would the decreased cost of no school expenses let your husband's 2 incomes be enough?

I don't pay anything for school, they pay me. I actually got $2100 in my pocket after all school expenses were paid, just for this semester alone. If I quit, I have to pay back all the aid I received (I go full-time, so that's a lot of aid!), and I won't be allowed to get anymore. My schooling will basically grind to a halt, as will any hopes of getting the career I really want. And since we're not paying anything for school, it won't help our finances at all if I quit, it will only hurt them big-time when we have to pay that money back. I've already put off school twice in order to work, and it's gotten us nowhere. I'm no better off when I graduated high school almost 20 years ago. In fact, I'm worse off.

We had also prayed about me going back to school, and that time we got a definite YES answer. When we prayed about me staying in school this year, we again got a definite YES answer (a definite burning in the bosom there), so we know the Lord wants me to stay in school.

Originally Posted by Soul_Searcher

Without sounding unsupportive, if you are working part time how many hours do you do a week? How is it you can go for days on end without seeing your family? I work more than full time and still manage it.

It's because of when my hours are, not how many. By the time my kids get home from school, I'm at work. By the time I get home from work, they're in bed. I'll see them for a few minutes in the morning, but we're all getting ready to go to our classes, so it's not exactly plentiful quality time. My older two spend weekends with their dad. On the evenings I don't work, I'm in school. My middle daughter has dive practice until 6:30 every day, so she's the one I mostly don't see.

So it's not that I'm working a lot of hours, it's just when those hours happen to be. School is only two evenings a week, it's the work hours being spread out over the other evenings that takes up the rest of my time.

I think a lot of ther problem here is that women are conditioned in the church to stay at home all their lives and breed. Women working is sort of seen as a kind of last resort.

I've never gotten that impression. More than half of the women I got to church with work outside the home.

Therefore when women such as yourself DO have to work you are stressed and guilt ridden.

I actually DON'T feel guilt about working. I know we need the money, and I'm proud to be able to help my husband provide for my family. But I'm sick of never seeing my kids, and I just hate the line of work I'm in.

I just feel that if working women in the church were accepted as a normal part of life, staying at home would be a choice not an expectation. That way, when stay at home Mums do have to work, it is not a big stressy headache to deal with. I think the OP might be suffering from some of this, though I could be wrong.

Just my opinion and observation.

I understand your concern, but this doesn't happen to be my situation. If it was, I definitely wouldn't be going to school to earn a degree in my chosen career field with plans to (happily) work for the rest of my life!

[Bini]

Good on you, MormonMama!


It's great that you're wanting to consult your doctor about possibly being BP. I was an undiagnosed and untreated BP for many years, and people thought I was absolutely crazy! I could have the best job and family in the world but I always felt overly stressed and depressed. It just didn't make sense to those outside looking in at me. But I knew what I was feeling.. So getting this addressed and getting a diagnosis may explain some of the physical ailments and mood swings you have described. It could also end up being something completely unrelated but at least you have eliminated one possibility.


Best of luck!

[Gwen]

that is great to hear about the schooling. opportunities like that don't come along very often. i'm glad that's not adding to the stress for you (well financial and spiritual, i know studying for classes is stress).

hang in there

[Danite]

The fact that your doubting might be your answer. but you may not be ready to accept that answer right now. Without conformation on which way to go, I would ask the Lord to bless your decision. Your righteous desires will be blessed. Sometimes we have to learn to walk in the dark for while. We resist the idea of opposition in all things, and wish Heavenly Father to work on our time table which he never seems in my case any way.But this much I do know that he will bless your desires to live the commandments and do his will.

[MormonMama]

Just wanted to say thanks again everyone. I also wanted to thank those who earlier gave advice on some other work opportunities I could do that might be more flexible. I didn't get a chance earlier.

Now I have to take Vicodin and go to bed. The tooth I was supposed to get fixed today turned out to be worse off that we'd originally thought, and it had to be pulled. I had a headache going in to the office, and now my head is throbbing so bad that I want to vomit (I get headaches like this almost every day; I've missed so much work and school because of them). So I'm off.

[lost87]

I used to get headaches like that and a few things helped...first off I completely cut 5 things out of my diet...like COMPLETELY...they were bananas, chocolate (terrible, i know), caffeine, anything with tomatoes, and hot dogs...odd list..but the neurologist suggested it and i've not had any since i was 8 and am doing pretty good! Also, they put me on a Beta blocker, its usually a heart med but does wonders for these kinds of headaches! Maybe you could look into it with your doc, I am on proponolol (sp?) in low doses and haven't had a bad headache in ages. I hope your feeling better!

[bmy-]

Do it yourself -- perhaps that's what the answer is. At least that's how I look on the bright side of it..

[MormonMama]

Just wanted to post an update.

Yesterday I was feeling pretty crummy with having that tooth pulled, knowing that I was going to be off work for a couple of days, feeling sick from the pain and woozy from the pain meds. I felt sure I was going to get fired. So I prayed to Heavenly Father and basically told him, "I'm so confused, I really don't know which decision is best and I'm really upset about this. Can't you just give me a hint?" At that very moment this popped into my head: "Leave of absence". Later that night DH told me that he'd been praying that day about what we should do, and the same phrase popped into his head (I hadn't yet told him I'd felt that prompting too).

This morning I called work to let them know I would be missing more shifts and why, and told them that I was worried about losing my job and what were my options? What did they advise me to do? You guessed it: apply for a leave of absence. Normally that option would not be available to me (you have to be there a year and I've only been there four months), but the head of personnel is going to see what she can do, since I have medical documentation that I have been seeing a doctor about these headaches and I have a note from the dentist about the tooth and that he wants me off work for the weekend (I can't drive with the painkillers I'm on, nor can I stand for very long without feeling very dizzy and light-headed, and my job involves standing all day).

So it seems I really was asking the wrong questions! It had never occurred to me that there might be more than two options. I still don't know for sure if I'll be able to get a leave of absence, but even if I can't and end up losing the job, at least I'll know I tried. I'll be able to look my bishop in the eye and tell him that I did try to save my job.

And if I can get the leave of absence, then it buys me some time to find out what the heck these headaches are and find some way to hopefully get rid of them, or at least keep them under control, as well as check into my mental health. Maybe I'll still end up needing to leave the job, but hopefully I will be in a better position mentally and emotionally by then to make that decision. And maybe we'll discover that we can get by without my income after all (since I won't get paid for that time off).

So even though things are still up in the air as of right now, I'm feeling so much more peaceful about this whole situation today.

[Bini]

Glad you're feeling better today :]


Thanks for keeping us posted!