What to do when you get no answer to prayer?

[will227457]

Originally Posted by silvermoon

In reply to Will. That's great for you that you made all those wonderful decisions and everything turned out perfectly for you. Just so you know, my Father also had finished school, had a very well paying job, paid cash for cars, home everything. My older brothers and sisters knew of vacations, ate very well and had private tutors. Due to unplanned circumstances that were out of control, (his health was one of them) his financial situation changed for the worse. I am number 7 of eight, so it affected my little brother and me the most. I think you would be wise to take another look at what you are calling "mormon culture". The families that I know of that stay together and do not divorce over money are the families that the mother stays at home and does not go to work. And these families are not on welfare. It is extremely judgmental of you to assume that just because they are on one income that they are on welfare. And even if they are on welfare, it is none of your business. And if they are on welfare, it is not because they heeded the council of Prophets to not put off having children. You need to realize that even when someone puts their best foot forward and makes all the "right" decisions it doesn't always work out as planned. As with my family. My Father is very well qualified and has been his whole life.

to the OP I know that financial circumstances can change as I have also gone through the issue of having a great paying job and loseing it in the past adn struggling to pay even basic bills... I understand that I do not know your situation and the circumstances surrounding it, I only wish you the best and hope that you come out of this ok.

Silvermoon if you read my post my wife stays at home and does not work, money is tighter than I want it to be, things have not worked out as I had them laid out, look how long it took me to get were I am at....and there are still things I want to accomplish and am not happy with.

I am not passing judgement on anyone so if you or anyone else takes my previous post personally sorry.

I am only making an observation about MY view of mormon culture, and my personal experiences lets face it the culture teachs us to marry young and start a family when we are least prepared for it, this should change people need to be more prepared......but trust me if you were the financial clerk of your ward it would SHOCK you to know who is on the church dole....there are people in my ward who have had kids knowing that they didn't have health insurance!!! thats just irresponsible...they end up on medicare ...and WIC.... MY tax dollars supporting their poor decisions....of course these types of programs are needed because the child bears no fault of the actions and irresponsibility of their parents..And I agree even when people try to put there best foot forward they may have issues health problems/ a struggling job market through no fault of there own, and assistance may be necessary.....

[MormonMama]

Well, it's official. My job is gone. There is no provision for a leave of absence for those who have worked less than 12 months. I was there only 4 months. Part of me is actually relieved, but of course part of me is even more stressed now. At least I can hold my head up when I tell the bishop that I lost my job. I guess maybe this is why I didn't feel I was getting any answer to prayer, because it wasn't my decision to make.

Originally Posted by LDSVALLEY

Bankruptcy is also an option to consider, while the church frowns upon it sometimes it is the only alternative.

Bankruptcy is not an option to us. We already have one in our past, and you have to have 10 years between filings. We have been thinking about the credit counseling option (we have similar programs here), though it still wouldn't help with the basic bills. If we could get rid of our credit card debt and medical bills it would help though. I don't know if they can do anything with student loans (or if that would mess up my current financial aid).

Things are tough all over right now. I learned, I thought, from previous financial mistakes.

That's part of our problem. We we had a good income once, but we made the mistake of not saving up for emergencies. When those emergencies came the job was gone and so was the money. I can tell you we'll never make that mistake again!!

I guess we only have two alternatives, keep treading water until it gets shallower or sink into despair. I consider despair from time to time but figure when I come back up I'll still be in the same place only wetter!

Remember you are not treading alone.

You're so right! I feel like giving up sometimes, but I know that is not the answer. It will only make things worse. But that tent in the wilderness option is looking pretty good right now, lol!

Originally Posted by silvermoon

At these times I think of the Prophet Joseph Smith in Doctrine and Covenants section 122.

Funny you should mention that. I just read Doctrine and Covenants 121 a few days ago, where the Lord says to Joseph, "...peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and afflictions shall be but a small moment." (7) and "Thou art not yet as Job; they friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job." (10) It really reminded me that even though times are very tough right now, they could be so much worse. I've been trying to cling to that these days.

DH is offering to try and pick up more hours at his second job. Bless him, he is so willing to work hard for us. And at least he's been getting an average of 1-2 field trips the past few weeks. That's about 4 extra hours a week (not overtime though, as he only works 30 hours as it is). That definitely will help when we start seeing the pay from those. Maybe between the two options he can make up for my lost income (even though we were struggling with my income included). And we haven't had to use our coolers for about a week now, so that will help bring the electric and water bills down. We just have to find some way to replace his car before I go to NAU in January (because we could really use that extra money from financial aid and I really want to finish my degree). At least that gives us a few months.

Oh, and we did get a piece of good news last night that I almost forgot about: DH's parents are going to visit his aunt for a week (she has cancer, but thankfully it seems to be in remission), and they're letting us borrow their car while they're gone. So at least for a week DH will have reliable transportation to work. After that we'll just have to make do with our one car.

And check out this quote I just happened to read today. I think it's very appropriate for me right now:

"To be cheerful when others are in despair, to keep the faith when others falter, to be true even when we feel forsaken—all of these are deeply desired outcomes during the deliberate, divine tutorials which God gives to us—because He loves us. These learning experiences must not be misread as divine indifference. Instead, such tutorials are a part of the divine unfolding."
--Neal A. Maxwell, "Be of Good Cheer", Ensign Nov 1982, 66

[LDSVALLEY]

You're so right! I feel like giving up sometimes, but I know that is not the answer. It will only make things worse. But that tent in the wilderness option is looking pretty good right now, lol!

My family would love that, we camp every year! That's what my pic is, our tent under a 30*40 foot tarp that covers our entire camp site.
Look up our families favorite scripture 1Nephi 2:15 I use it in talks and spiritual thoughts all the time, it has many uses. In this case literal would work for you!

[MormonMama]

If things keep going the way they are, we might just have to live in a tent! I've always loved camping, so I could definitely deal with it for awhile, but life would be rougher.

[MormonMama]

I've been thinking this morning, and I can't help but wonder if maybe this Wal-Mart job was meant to last only for the summer. I spent about 9 months looking for work and didn't find a job until June, just when DH's day job ended (he was off for the summer; school bus driver; sometimes he gets a summer school route, sometimes he doesn't). DH's job picked back up in August, right around the time my headaches got so bad that I was throwing up almost every day from the pain, which caused me to start missing a lot of work. I find that a funny coincidence.

While my job didn't totally make up for his lost income, he was able to work more hours at his second job over the summer and between the two of us we kept our income pretty close to what it was when I wasn't working and he was at both jobs. Lately, DH has been getting anywhere from 1-3 field trips a week at work, which means he will get off work anywhere from 4pm to almost midnight. Since we're down to one car, that means that I have to be ready at any time in the evenings to pick him up. However, the plus side is that it's quite a bit more income. It can add a good $200 to $300 to a paycheck, which is pretty much what I earned at Wal-Mart per paycheck. He works his second job on weekends, and he's planning to pick up more hours during the week on the evenings he doesn't have field trips (which he couldn't do when I worked).

So, maybe it was meant to be. Maybe my job was supposed to only be temporary, to help cover DH's lost income. I was so stressed going to school full-time and working part-time and basically being a full-time mom to my kids (since DH's two jobs keep him away from home so much). Even with money as tight as it is, I actually feel really good about our whole situation today. DH is already getting more hours at his day job and should be able to get more hours at his second job as well (they're always asking him if he can work more, and when I was working he just couldn't; now he can).

I consider myself incredibly lucky to have a husband who is willing to work so hard so that I can continue my schooling. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for him. I hate that he has to work so much, but he keeps saying he's willing to do it so I can finish school. What a gem! How did I ever deserve a guy like this?

[changed]

Originally Posted by MormonMama

I'm struggling with a major decision right now. I'm working part-time outside of the home, and while we really need the extra income, the stress it's been causing is just really creating a lot of problems for our family. We're not sure the amount of extra income the job brings in is worth the stress that it's causing for us, our kids, and other people we have to rely on for things I'm no longer available to do (our kids are constantly getting rides home from school activities or to doctor appointments and such from friends, friends' parents, some of my relatives have had to take time off work or other activities to babysit, etc.; one of my daughter's friends' parents have pretty much been letting her live with them because I'm not available to get her home from an after-school sport and they live close to the school). It's been causing hardship not just for us, but for all the people who are stuck helping us. In addition, because I suffer from sick headaches that have gotten worse over the past few months (no medications have helped relieve them as of yet), I'm probably dangerously close to losing my job. I've missed around 7-8 days since I started this job just four months ago. And I have to admit, I DESPISE this job and feel upset and stressed big time on the days I have to work (I'm sure the fact that I suffer from depression doesn't help that).

I've taken this situation to Heavenly Father in prayer, but just don't feel like I'm getting any answer. I've posed the question as, "I want to quit this job. Should I?" and felt like I got no response. So then I posed the question as, "Okay, then should I stick with the job for now?" and still feel I get no response. This is basically a yes or no question, should I do this thing or not? It's an extremely tough decision, with both positive and negative consequences either way. I could really use Heavenly Father's input on this, but feel like I'm just not getting any. Or it could be that my own emotions on this matter are interfering with any influence I might be getting from the Spirit. How should I handle this?

On the one hand, I feel that this job is creating a negative impact on my family and me, physically and emotionally. On the other hand, we're struggling to pay our bills as it is and are getting some help from the church. It took me almost a year to find a job, so I don't have much hope of just finding a different job anytime soon. I am selling items on Ebay and Amazon, but eventually I'll run out of things to sell. My husband and I have talked about this a lot, and we both feel split on this decision. We need every little bit of money we can get, but we're not sure that the $400 a month is worth what it is doing to our family (I can literally go days without seeing my husband or kids; one of my daughters I usually only see one or two days a week). I WANT to quit this job, but I'm just not sure it's the right decision. Financially it will hurt us, but right now keeping the job is hurting us in other ways.

What would you guys do if it was you?

And does anyone know of any legitimate ways that I could work at home to bring in some extra money? I'm not talking about running my own business, just something I can do in my free time to make extra money. I'm already going to school and raising three kids, and my husband works two jobs as it is, so I don't have a lot of free time.

"no answer" often means more pondering is needed.

7 Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.
8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall eburn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

(Doctrine and Covenants | Section 9:7 - 8)

doing nothing more than just quitting your job will not solve the problem (bills etc.). You have to do something more. Move, reduced expenses, somehow live on less, then quit your job. IMO the Lord will never ask you to do something that will result in a sin (ie going into debt) nor will He encourage you to do something that is harmful to your family (ie keep working). there a third solution, quit work after you have moved, learn how to live on less perhaps? hundreds of different things you could do, the above is just one example. It is not just option A or B. it is option A,B,C,D,E,F,.... you get the point. If you get no answer on one or another, come up with other alternatives.

[changed]

Originally Posted by MormonMama

I actually feel really good about our whole situation today.

I should have read the whole thread. Sounds like things are starting to look up for you. Hang in there girl!!!!!

the school/kids/work thing? Been there, done that, know what you are going through.
HUGS!!!!!

[MormonMama]

Originally Posted by changed

I should have read the whole thread. Sounds like things are starting to look up for you.

Lol, I've done the same thing. Thanks for your support. I can't tell you guys how much strength I've gained from the support and advice of everyone on here.