what to do about family and church

[candyprpl]

I'm in the Primary Presidency in our ward and was a Valient 11 and 12 teacher for 3 yrs prior.

Teaching, No Greater Call -- a resource guide for gospel teaching
Pres. Hinckley observed, little problems will inevitably occur. Whether you are teaching in the home or at church, your lessons may at times be disrupted by the behavior of those you teach. In your efforts to help those who become disruptive, remember that you should not simply try to correct inappropriate behavior or make sure everyone is quiet: you should help learners become better disciples of the Savior.
--- I have a picture of the Savior and ask them would they act this way if Jesus were in the room right now. After a while I just point to the picture and nothing is said.

There was a time I had two brothers and all they did was find ways to bother each other, no matter where I placed them in the room. I started having my husband come to class and sit between them -- that worked. I just introduced my husband as 'priesthood' here for a visit.

There are many ways to deal with children who are difficult. I'm not saying that your child is difficult and that justifies what the teacher did. It is difficult sometimes with children but to use the discipline that that teacher used, I feel, was inappropriate. When I have children who are acting out I try to find out what may be causing them to act out.

"Those you teach have divine characteristics and divine destinies. Your responses to their actions can help them remember their infinite worth as sons and daughters of God. Through your example, you can help them increase in their desire to help each other learn the gospel and live according to its principles."

It's very important to remember this when teaching these precious little spirits. We should seek to understand those we teach -- not make fast judgments and go from there.

And finally, as a teacher I would GREATLY appreciate a parent coming and sitting with their child if that is what it took! We (the presidency) just had a situation where the child was not wanting to be away from mom (without going into detail) and we didn't just want to let him go to RS with mom so we invited mom to his class so that he could still be learning the gospel on his level. There are many LOVING solutions to problems.

I do pray that you will find an easy, loving solution to your dilemma.

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

Originally Posted by Elgama

thank you all for your advice - more has happened since, my issue was never with discipline I know my daughter can be a pain in the neck, my issue was more with my daughter coming out of Primary so distressed she had all the fight knocked out of her ( which I know from experience usually takes 30 minutes plus - my daughter has seizures which the Primary President at the time was well aware of that are triggered by stress and raise in temperature as a result of this my daughter had 8 very close together. Also I do feel humiliation has no place in a Primary and have never seen anything similar in my time at church, I had previously stated after a previous incident when Ellie came out in buckets of tears if she was in that state again I wanted them to come and get me. The week following this incident my daughter who admittedly can be meldodramatic - started cowering in corners and wetting herself if I shouted and ducking when I moved towards her - everything in me says more happened in that room than I will ever know. I would have had no issue if she had even struck Ellie and apologised afterwards - but to tell lies about knowing about the seizures, and to leave her in distress for a long period of time is unreasonable. One of the other children is also scared of her.

We have over past few weeks decided for time being not to go to church as a family unit, its been taken with a lot of prayer and for the time being is the right decision. I sent my husband off to get a blessing and was surprised to discover other long standing strong in faith families are having the same promptings. I am particularly disturbed that there is an official story now about what has happened and we have been more or less hung out to dry by branch president. I do not know why he is abeing such and idiot over this woman

-Charley

If this is a known problem in your branch, and there are others with your story, the next step is to go to the Stake President. Follow the chain of command. As I understand it, the Stake Presidency calls people to the Bishopric or Branch Presidency. And, I am sure if the Stake Presidency receives complaints similar to yours they will investigate it - for the safety of the children and the families. And if it is found out that the Branch President and the Primary Instructor are involved in something that is proving to be harmful to the children, then I am sure they would be more than happy to remove them from their callings.

But to sit and "wait it out" is not doing anything good because by doing this, you are allowing it to continue.

Also, if you can afford it, maybe see if you can connect with the LDS Social Services and have your daughter and family seen by a professionally licensed counselor in psychology and human social sciences. This may also help resolve issues and they may be able to assist you with other ways to have this issue resolved.