Need advice on getting remarried in temple

mklfelt · #1 (**permalink**) 10-18-2009, 08:43 PM

Hey everybody,
I'm new here and just had a question and if anybody has experience or advice for me I'd love to hear it. I am getting remarried and am trying to get a sealing cancellation from my previous husband. I know that the First Presidency doesn't like to cancel a sealing very far in advance of the new marriage, which makes it really hard to set dates and plan a wedding. My bishop isn't very helpful because he has never done one before, and let's face it in general men don't really understand what is involved in planning a wedding even if it is going to be a very small ordeal. Reception places/photographers/florists etc. need a little advanced notice for things. How do I go about planning for things? People I have asked just tell me to plan things and hope that it goes through, but my fiance wants to wait until my previous sealing has been cancelled to start any kind of planning. Is that even possible to do it that way? Thanks for your help!

pam · #2 (**permalink**) 10-18-2009, 08:51 PM

Unfortunately trying to set a date based on when a sealing cancellation is going to take place is next to impossible. There isn't a time frame that the First Presidency are required to answer by. Nor is it a guarantee that it will be approved. I think your fiance is probably wise in stating to wait until you receive the cancellation to begin the planning.

mklfelt · #3 (**permalink**) 10-18-2009, 09:03 PM

That would be great if I could do it that way. My only concern is that they won't cancel it until right close to the day of the new marriage. I know they don't like to do it too far in advance just in case we ended up not going through with the marriage and then I'd be left without being sealed to anyone. I'm not sure they'd cancel it then give me 3 months or even 6 weeks at that, to plan a wedding or make reception arrangements. How far in advance will they typically cancel a sealing? I know both my boss and my neighbor had to have the temple presidency call President Hinckley the day of their weddings to make sure they had the clearance to remarry. Luckily theirs both had gone through.

spirettedotter · #4 (**permalink**) 10-19-2009, 06:26 PM

I wish I had an answer for you. I would like to find out for myself as well, how it works out.

My best guess would be to be as specific in your request as possible; include in your correspondences with the Presidency that you would like the new sealing to be in the month of _____, that you need at least 10 (+/-) weeks after the sealing cancellation to book your wedding reception arrangements so all goes well, so you are hoping and praying to recieve their approval answer by _______. I'm sure it wouldn't be good to pressure them or be demanding, but politely explaining your dilemna never hurts. ..."the squeaky wheel gets the grease."

I do know it is difficult to get a cancellation, but if the reason is valid (like abuse, in my case), I think there is a better chance of approval.

Good luck, and I hope your new marriage is everything you hope for.

will227457 · #5 (**permalink**) 10-20-2009, 12:52 PM

I got no anwsers.....if you are divorced temporally why wouldn't they just approve it....you oboviously don't want to be with the guy forever right....

mdfxdb · #6 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 11:19 AM

Can't you just get married and then sealed when it is final? Marriage is a civil affair, sealing is religious.

Gwen · #7 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 11:42 AM

you can request the cancellation based on the fact that you are engaged, you could wait till it goes through and then set the wedding date and that would allow you to plan the amt of time you need.

from what i understand cancellations can take longer than a sealing clearance (you would need a cancellation). took my husband like 6 or 7 months to get his sealing clearance. i've heard of some faster and some that have taken years. reasons for the time may not always fall on the first presidency's shoulders. sometimes a bishop or stake pres does not send the paperwork out immediately, can take time to get the appropriate letters together, if you send it in the middle of the first presidency's time off, etc.

best wishes

spirettedotter · #8 (**permalink**) 10-24-2009, 04:46 PM

By sealing clearance, do you mean an approval that is required before any sealing can take place verses a cancellation from a previous sealing? Can you explain the difference and who needs each?

If a widower wants to be sealed to a second wife, does approval take months?

And if a sister wants a cancellation in order to get sealed to a righteous priesthood holder, might that take even longer?

So a couple in that situation might need to plan on a very long engagement?