relationship advice?

just_ashley · #1 (**permalink**) 11-08-2009, 05:53 PM

i don't know quite where to post this...
ok, so i feel hardcore for this guy, but i pushed him away because i didn't want to get hurt. now he's in trouble spiritually, and i really want to be there to help him (he moved away), but i don't know how to start over. because i was a real nightmare to him, and he was great to me.
what should i do? because i'm afraid he's about to make a huge mistake that will cost him his membership in the church.

ViolinGirl · #2 (**permalink**) 11-12-2009, 07:53 AM

Ashley, I think the best thing you can do, if you want to take the first step toward repairing your relationship, is apologize to him for your actions. Be up front with him and tell him exactly what was going on with you when you pushed him away. Give him the opportunity to forgive you and tell him you'd like to start over. He may be glad to have you back in his life, he may not...either way, at least you know you've done your part to fix your mistakes. As far as his spiritual life goes, keep in mind that his relationship with God and the church is HIS responsibility, not yours. You can let him know you'll be there for him as a friend if he needs to talk or needs help, but don't put yourself in a position where you're trying to save him. Sometimes people we love make mistakes. Sometimes all we can do is sit back and watch the train wreck happen. A true friend will be there, though, to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath. Just don't let yourself get sucked into the vortex with him.

Hemidakota · #3 (**permalink**) 11-12-2009, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by just_ashley

i don't know quite where to post this...
ok, so i feel hardcore for this guy, but i pushed him away because i didn't want to get hurt. now he's in trouble spiritually, and i really want to be there to help him (he moved away), but i don't know how to start over. because i was a real nightmare to him, and he was great to me.
what should i do? because i'm afraid he's about to make a huge mistake that will cost him his membership in the church.

Listen to the still small voice...it will never lead you astray.