Marriage Dilemnas :(

peita77 · #1 (**permalink**) 11-28-2005, 11:18 PM

Hello everyone! This is my first time on here so please bear with me.

Ive been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past 2 years.Ive only recently become active again and thought the right thing was to break up with this man and move closer to the church.(im from a small country town)The only problem is now ive left him and my about to leave my home,ive realised that i love this man with all my heart and would love to be his wife.He desperately wants to be with me still and to marry me and start a big family straight away!which just sounds wonderful! But he is not a member. He is Greek Orthodox. What do members do in this situation?? I know a lot of women married to non members
and work it out.
I just cant get past being sealed to my family forever.which i guess would not happen if i married this man.He says he is willing to bring our children up the way id like and even to obey the Word of Wisdom in our home. Some people have told me that if i live the gospel as best i can then everything will be taken care of in the afterlife.
Id love some advice please!!

lisajo · #2 (**permalink**) 11-28-2005, 11:29 PM

It is a hard situation you are in.........If he lets you keep your beliefs and raise your children how you want it sounds like he is a good guy, if i loved a guy who was willing to let me stick with my beliefs i personally would keep him, Is there any chance at all he has interest in the church? maybe he could go with you some time....but don't try to change him, and don't think he will change his mind some day down the road just so you could marry him, Love is a funny thing, I know if my son fell in love with a nonmember i would just want my son to be happy,
and it also depends on how much you love him.

peita77 · #3 (**permalink**) 11-28-2005, 11:34 PM

Thanks for replying Lisajo.
I do love him very much.But what do you think will happen later??will i be with my family even if we are not sealed in the temple??

lisajo · #4 (**permalink**) 11-29-2005, 12:00 AM

well honestly i cant quite answer that but i am sure some one else could

CharlieDesRosiers · #5 (**permalink**) 11-29-2005, 04:21 AM

I was always taught that you don't have to be a member to reap some reward in the afterlife. As long as a person is deemed of adequate moral fibre, they get to mingle with other folks in their respective degree of heaven. I was always under the impression that there were great opportunities to mingle in the heavens. If that's the case, there is no reason to suspect that you and your family wouldn't be just as happy as everyone else.
Family sealings are important, you're right. But being unable to have one isn't the end of the world, I think. Your family will still exist as it always has here and in the hereafter. You'll find them.
I usually try to stay out of discussions concerning LDS beliefs, because I never feel qualified to discuss anything. So, feel free to let this go in one eye and out the other. Do what makes you happy, Peita.

eleigh1977 · #6 (**permalink**) 11-29-2005, 05:39 AM

Hey, another 77 sistah!

This is a very tough situation. Either choice isn't a bad choice...just a hard choice. You have to choose between your beliefs and a man that you love. Which of those would let your soul down, truly if you saw yourself in ten years. Would you end up resenting him, because you were not sealed? Would you be all right and hope some day he would join the church and then you could enjoy the blessings of the temple?

Bottom line, you need to pray and find out what the Lord wants you to do. If you want to be sealed and that is what is important to you, then you have to trust the Lord will send you someone, eventually, with the same desire...who you will love just as much as this other man. IF this other man is who you are supposed to be with...then the Lord will tell you that as well.

You've made the choice to break up with him...what I would do is pray about that, and see if that was the right choice.

Mixed religious marriages can work, and Greek Orthodox is a neat religion, IMHO. You just have to decide if that is what you want. Does he truly MEAN you can raise the kids LDS? Does he truly mean he will follow the word of wisdom in your home...or is he just paying lip service right now?

Now it may not be until you actually move and get back into the swing of things that you realize you made the right choice. He may be the one the Lord wants you to marry....only you will know the answer when it quietly is answered through fasting and prayer. I'd talk to your parents...and I'd talk to your bishop as well. They can probably give you deeper and better insight than I could....because love is love. It's hard to let it go when you have found it.

I hope sincerely that your heart receives some answers, soon.

#7 (**permalink**) 11-29-2005, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by peita77@Nov 28 2005, 11:18 PM
Hello everyone! This is my first time on here so please bear with me.

Ive been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past 2 years.Ive only recently become active again and thought the right thing was to break up with this man and move closer to the church.(im from a small country town)The only problem is now ive left him and my about to leave my home,ive realised that i love this man with all my heart and would love to be his wife.He desperately wants to be with me still and to marry me and start a big family straight away!which just sounds wonderful!* But he is not a member.* * He is Greek Orthodox.* * What do members do in this situation??* I know a lot of women married to non members* *
and work it out.
I just cant get past being sealed to my family forever.which i guess would not happen if i married this man.He says he is willing to bring our children up the way id like and even to obey the Word of Wisdom in our home.* * Some people have told me that if i live the gospel as best i can then everything will be taken care of in the afterlife.
Id love some advice please!!

[snapback]84744[/snapback]

I remember being told that to be unequally yoked never gets us where we should be together and at the same time. One wouldn't yoke a horse and an oxen together. Since the plan of salvation is centered on family we should strive to have a family we can be sealed to. The best thing you can do is to study what the scriptures say, fast and pray about it, and then ask our Father what he would have you do. This is a tough decision but you are already questioning the rightness of it. A future spouse may say that he or she will conform to the other believes but when put into practical application it doesn't always go that way and can lead to unhappiness. I believe this is why we are taught to seek out a temple worthy mate. Father doesnt' want us to be unhappyso he has provided a plan for us. Speaking from experience I can say that I wished I had fasted, prayed, listened to the prophets and other church leaders, and to my own niggling doubts when it came to choosing my exhusband.
True, there are a lot of mixed" marriages that work out fine, but, now is the time to meet God as the scriptures say and I for one wished I had done what he wanted me to do in that regard. Consult with him, sister, and you will know what to do. I don't envy you in your position and I will keep you in my prayers that you will be enlightened as to what Father would have you do. Much love.

Laureltree · #8 (**permalink**) 11-29-2005, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by peita77@Nov 28 2005, 11:18 PM
Hello everyone! This is my first time on here so please bear with me.

Ive been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past 2 years.Ive only recently become active again and thought the right thing was to break up with this man and move closer to the church.(im from a small country town)The only problem is now ive left him and my about to leave my home,ive realised that i love this man with all my heart and would love to be his wife.He desperately wants to be with me still and to marry me and start a big family straight away!which just sounds wonderful!* But he is not a member.* * He is Greek Orthodox.* * What do members do in this situation??* I know a lot of women married to non members* *
and work it out.
I just cant get past being sealed to my family forever.which i guess would not happen if i married this man.He says he is willing to bring our children up the way id like and even to obey the Word of Wisdom in our home.* * Some people have told me that if i live the gospel as best i can then everything will be taken care of in the afterlife.
Id love some advice please!!

[snapback]84744[/snapback]

Has he even considered talking to the missionaries? Remember everyone is a possiable convert

StrawberryFields · #9 (**permalink**) 11-29-2005, 10:07 AM

Just from what I have seen with my SIL who is still miserable in her marriage 22 years later.

Her hubby made all kinds of promises to her about what he would do after they were married. He had been married in the temple before and he promised to take her there as soon as he could. Well, he didn't and he went far into all kinds of things that caused her much pain and heartache. If something is important to you and your family life then want it now in this life...don't live in misery here hoping for things to work out in the after life. Just my opinion.

Jason · #10 (**permalink**) 11-29-2005, 11:04 AM

Petita,

Please take a look at the thread "What's the point of sealing" in the General Discussion forum. I just bumped it for you special.

Also, have you ever considered Greek Orthodoxy? It is a 2000 year old Christian Church, and the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom is way more interesting than your average Sacrament Meeting.

Honestly though, I hate scenarios like this. It seems that religions (which are all man-made by the way) always get in the way of things like love, peace, harmony, etc, etc, etc.

Surely the Divine Creator had no such thing in mind.

Go to the man you love. Have a wonderful, long, loving life.

Or you could marry a "good" LDS man, who just may not love you as much, who may have an affair on you, and there's a 50/50 chance you'll end up divorced anyway.

Think about that a while.