More Dating

Franken · #1 (**permalink**) 12-08-2005, 06:17 PM

Can anyone tell me what the churches view is on dating someone semi-exclusuvely/going out when you are 18 for guys and gals?

DisRuptive1 · #2 (**permalink**) 12-08-2005, 11:28 PM

Church sez you shouldn't be dating "semi" exclusively. You should be married!!! Watcha waitin' fer?

to_tall · #3 (**permalink**) 12-09-2005, 03:08 AM

i could be wronge but i think they say that untill your looking to get married dont date exclusively

stellati · #4 (**permalink**) 12-09-2005, 11:08 AM

Ummm yeah, do not date exclusivley until you're ready to get married. Do not date exclusivley especially if you're preparing for a mission! Just don't do it! If you do go on a mission with a girl at home one of 2 things are very likely to happen: You may decided that you miss your dream woman too much and you'll come home or you'll decided that you don't like your dream woman as much as you thought and you'll break up! I wouldn't risk trying to prove you're the "lucky one". Life is to unpredictable for everything to turn out as planned. In the talk the prophet gave about the 6 be's there's great advise about dating. You should read it and follow his advise. I was 17 at the time and in an exclusive relationship. Needless to say, it had an impact on my life. Good luck!

DisRuptive1 · #5 (**permalink**) 12-09-2005, 10:03 PM

Having a girlfriend can help keep your nose clean in the mission field when all those hotter girls at the singles ward you are serving at, tell you they have a thing for you and want you to write them and come back after your mission. A girlfriend is like insurance to a missionary.

eleigh1977 · #6 (**permalink**) 12-10-2005, 11:28 AM

the church simply advises against it...there has never been a statement that says...don't do it. That's too finite and disallows our chance to choose for ourselves what we think is right.

At 18, the problem is faaaaaaaar too many people are looking to be exclusive...when really that is a time for havng fun, going on a lot of dates. If you're exclusive, chances are (I'd say about 90% of the time), you're going to end up regretting it later. NONE of my friends who were exclusive at that age are happy they were exclusive. A lot of them now regret it because they knew they wasted their time on something that wasn't truly right. They didnt' give themselves a chance to grow. Out of my 10 best guy and girl friends only ONE was happy they stuck w/ their serious relationship started at 17-18-19....because they ended up married. MOST of my friends didn't find their 'person' till they were 25 or so and most are now just getting to the alter or in their first healthy, serious relationship (we are all 28-32 years old).

My Dh was exclusive from 15- just 19 years. He doesn't regret having an HS sweetheart, but he does regret not breaking up right after HS. He took the time after they did call of their engagement and dated so many girls. He said that when he was 17, he thought they should break up, but he didn't because he had put so much time into the relationship. come to find out that she had decided to start dating someone with out having the conversation with him about NOT being exclusive. So that was the end of that. He still laughs and talks about the fact that he dated sisters right in a row. i always punch him in the arm, because I knew them. hahaha

I always wished I could find someone I could stand enough to be exclusive with...but at that age, what it boiled down to was making friends. Having someone I could talk to. I enjoyed liking a few different guys. I enjoyed going on dates w/ different guys a few nights a week.

I think people are faaaaaaaar to eager to jump into something serious when they have a whole decade of self discovery ahead of them. I include myself in that statment , because I did marry young by 'world' standards. I met my DH and I didn't WANT him to be the one, but he was....and we were both against the idea of playing house. We've been together a long time...but I freely admit, that I wonder what my life would be like had I made other choices. Luckily I have a cool husband who is understanding of the fact that it's okay to wonder....but I think it's better to save yourself from all of that and experience this time for what it is.

I just don't think it's wise for youngin's to get serious. I do think it is a time that should be about flirting, having fifteen crushes, dating seven different people and just having fun.

That's my opinion and I am sticking to it.

Franken · #7 (**permalink**) 12-11-2005, 06:38 PM

I see what everyone's saying here, but I guess it's just hard to not want to be dating when you're in the situation. It feels like I might never find anyone that good again and I don't want to let go you know?

DisRuptive1 · #8 (**permalink**) 12-11-2005, 07:42 PM

Franken, you need to be patient. It will pay off. All those hot 20 something looking girls will be pawing after you if you just wait. Your worth as a mate will go up as you complete your education and move up the career ladder. No matter who you decide to pick, there will always be someone better because as time goes on you will be worth having. The opposite is true for women; they need to cash in their chips as soon as possible; get their mitts into the richest man their looks will get them.

Focus on your career and the women will flock to you.

pushka · #9 (**permalink**) 12-14-2005, 06:56 PM

LOL, DisRuptive1...ever the 'male chauvenist hog'!

Franken · #10 (**permalink**) 12-16-2005, 12:18 AM

All I can say is, True that