Angry/busy/lonely Looking For Friends

[duracell]

I am impressed with everyone who is responding to this forum. This is my first time on this site and I am ready for change in my life. Its been so long since I have talked to anyone about advice and my problems, and this website gives me hope that I may be able to find the peace I have been yearning for.

I have been so focused on my schooling and have been struggling with anger and marriage for so long that I have lost contact with everyone I have know in my past. I am looking for chat friends to help me feel not so alone.

I am so busy with med school that i only get out of my school once a week to go shopping at the grocery store and once to go to sacrament meeting only when I am not busy with exams. Furthermore, because of recent fights I have had with my husband (who lives in our old apartment and didn't move with me to a new city) and some betrayals from a close friend, I feel like I don't trust anyone anymore and don't take the time to speak to anyone. I feel I have completely walled off myself from everyone but my parents and brothers. I feel they are the only people I can trust because I don't think anyone else cares about me.

I don't understand how people deal with the fact that when you make friends and give them so much of your soul and time and money, and they turn their backs on you when you are in need that this is acceptable behavior and should be forgiven and people shrug it off as nothing. I feel so betrayed by everyone I have ever loved that I don't bother to make any associations. I feel everyone is out to use me in some way. That's the only reason people talk to me.

My problem is that I cannot stop my altruism. I am so willing to do anything to help people because I know I can, and I expect people will treat me kindly in return. When they do not I get really hurt. My husband says that I should not give so much of myself and I can see that, but I still feel that is what makes me unique. I feel that I need to only give my love to those who love me now, but on the other hand I feel myself giving the cold shoulder to everyone because I assume that they are jerks. In the end I am asking myself where did I go wrong? I feel all I wanted to do is to help people be the best they can be and now I have a very pessimistic untrusting nature!

I don't know what to do. Any advice?

[Prend1]

O wow! You sound just like me! I would give my right hand to someone if they needed it but I feel that I am all alone when I need help the most. Giving is a gift and you and I must have that.....although sometimes it feels like a curse.

My husband, although he is still living with me, is very rude and hurtful to me and so I can totally relate to wondering if people really love me or if I am just fooling myself. He tells me he does but I don't believe him. /he doesn't act like it.

I also have very few friends bc I am afraid to open up...if I don't give myself I won't get hurt. This is probably why I feel that I don't fit in at church

I don't know if I can give you what you're looking for but I have found love and friendship here and I would love to be your friend!

[Setheus]

LOL Prend1 isnt that like the 8th person you said "sounds just like you".


Welcome to the board Duracell. I tried to get you to come to chat so we could discuss DisRuptive1's post you reported. PS why is your husband not living with you? What a dork.

[duracell]

Thanks for the responses. . .

I tried to chat last night but I couldn't log onto the server for some reason. I am not great with computers and couldn't figure it out.

My husband just left from visiting me for Christmas and we nearly ended our relationship. I want to I just am so furious over his behavior. We fought about his family the whole time and the fact that he just extended his stay at his job in another city. He knew I was going to be a doctor and he knew we would have to move, and he never told me that he wouldn't move until I was accepted. After everything I did for him! I somewhat understand his reasons--he has a decent job and feels like he is building himself up before he moves, but the date that he is suppose to finish his job just keeps getting pushed back.

I don't know what to make of him flying to visit his family secretly without telling me the week before he visited me. He told his family that I would be mad if he did and so he couldn't tell me. This is true only in the sense that I told him I wanted to go with him and he did this during my exams. So, I told him this summer. I found out that he wasn't at work for a week when I called his job because he told me he was sick on the phone and I wanted to see how he felt. I was so upset when I heard on his voicemail that he was on vacation a week early! I caught up with him and had a huge yelling match. (and I had a huge exam the next day) His family denied that he was visiting them at first but I had already confirmed he was there. So much for good relations with his family! They yelled at me saying that I wouldn't let him come and I told them I wouldn't because I wanted to come with him because that is a proper husband/wife thing to do. I am really mad that they believed that I didn't want to see them.

I hate his family now (a long history of being rude to me) and I don't want to see them ever. And I am mad that my husband admits that this was a small mistake "it's not like I cheated" he tells me and that I must forgive him. The problem is that the only thing we fight about is his family. They call him everyday, speak in Arabic so I can't understand everything, and tell me its not my business and he also tells me that his family could care less about me but say nothing bad about me at the same time. This, afte my brother-in-law called me a b*** after I asked him to tell his wife to cool it with calling our home everyday since I am trying to get ready to move (go to medical school) and needed my husband. And this man is a very successful executive in Boise. My husband didn't say anything to them about this too.

[Prend1]

[quote]
LOL Prend1 isnt that like the 8th person you said "sounds just like you".


Yeah, I guess I just realte to everybody. I have so many issues!!

Like i said...dont we all have issues. congrats on sharing your problems with random ppl online though. whatever way you can vent i guess go for it. whatever makes you feel good i suppose. ya know it ###### that your life ###### but there is always someone that has it worse so maybe ppl could learn to ###### up some of their problems.

[duracell]

Originally posted by funkyfool416@Dec 27 2005, 12:51 PM
Like i said...dont we all have issues. congrats* on sharing your problems with random ppl online though. whatever way you can vent i guess go for it. whatever makes you feel good i suppose. ya know it ###### that your life ###### but there is always someone that has it worse so maybe ppl could learn to ###### up some of their problems.

[snapback]87446[/snapback]

I think the title of this forum is ADVICE. I don't have the means to do it any other way.

[ToasterOfen]

Duracel, I'm sorry Funky is being so rude and immature. She's been making comments like this all day to everyone... Very inappropriate. So again, I apologize for her lack of communication skills and tact.

You're in a tough situation...there are some people here who are very caring and supportive. I can relate to many of the things you are talking about (yes, Setheus, I too can relate, LOL) because there were many issues in my first marriage.

Anyway, as I said, there are a good many wonderful people here who can lend support and some "real" advice that is helpful.

God Bless...

[lisajo]

Funky what the HECK is your problem today! being a young one you really needed not resopnd to this! you don't undestand what she is going threw! you're just a goofy kid that wants to play goofy games and put up goofy posts! stick to you're age group if thats the way you want to act!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GRR8]

Heres some good advice. When you can 'do nothing' take about an hour and half just for you, no one else and nothing else, and get on the internet and read all the superb facinating interesting things we have about our solar system, (we were seeded)(our past connections on Mars and Iapetus and our own Moon) and read recent articles. Thinking about this stuff will put everything else into submission, because you will learn that the Gods did seed Earth, we had origins connecting to Mars and the Moon, and that 2001:a Space Oddessey, is actually closer to reality than most of the viewers realize. When you do this, post up and leave me an email at charliegrr8@hotmail.com. Best to you. Oh, sorry, here is the website where you will learn this extremely facinating, and profound information. www.enterprisemission.com. P.S. I am a non participating human being who does not go to lds meetings nor participate in temples or anything like that. I occasionaly say prayers, and know that Gods love me and I will end up in a very great place without having to take sacrement or go to a temple,and that I will see my folks and relatives whom I cared about there,and the ones that I didnt hve good relationships with ,,so what. I wont miss em. I have also been given revelation that going to church and taking torn bread crumbs and water is not a requirement to go to a very nice place in the higher dimensions. Nor is having to be baptized or endowed in a temple. But good luck to anyone else who believes this. All the Best. Charlie in Ohio