Drama

[Lindy]

The commericals are right....life IS drama
I guess it's up to us how we play the game.

I have a friend who came down to talk to me last night and cry on my shoulder about the man in her life. The one who says how much he cares, yet can't tell her the truth to save his life. I guess he tells her what he figures she wants to hear, not what she wants to know. Don't men know that a woman is going to find out sooner or later? It's so much better just to be honest and let the rest drop where it will....

Anyhow...She waited for him to call as he said he would, and he didn't. She was worried that something was wrong because he knew how important that phone call was to her...well she finds out that something else came up, and he figured she could wait until he wanted to talk to her again. WHAT IS THAT? She's in tears, believing in someone she wants and needs in her life....someone who says he loves her ...and then treats her like a used rag. All I can tell her is how sorry I was that she got her heart stomped on again... that she needed to find someone to believe in, someone who would be honest with her and treat her right. Sad thing is - I like the guy - he's a nice guy, he just can't seem to get his priorities together I guess. What is important to one person, has no importance to someone else.

Being female is one of the hardest things to deal with sometimes....you get lied to, stepped on, tuned out and tossed aside. The little talk didn't do me much good either, just a reminder of how life is one big dramatic game. And how tired we get playing that game, trying to find someone to believe in....and how much that really affects your life. Drama.....our lives ....and how we deal with it.

We talked about believing in something you know in your heart is right, even when everything else seems to point against it. I guess that's what life is all about...taking a stand for what you believe in, and not faltering when the chips fall around you.

Ohhh my tie in to the advice site?

Guys...if you tell a girl you will call CALL! If you say you are going to do something DO IT! Don't say something you don't mean to follow through on, it hurts your credibility on other things that may come up.

[BenRaines]

Lets make sure I understand this. So it is only guys who are dishonest and can't be truthful about their feelings. It is only guys who say they will call and don't?

I want to try and avoid this being a big He said She said forum.

Can guys be dishonest? Sure

Can gals be dishonest? Sure

So before you give away your heart, guy or gal. Get to know the other individual.

Let the buyer beware.

[lisajo]

Or at leats be honest and say you wont call! I never waited on a man in my life, i never sat by the phone, i had one boyfriend that went to punch me and he got hurt! i dumped him right there! I had another play games with me on commitment and on the day i was to get married ( to my hubby of course) he came to my home and begged me not to get married because he was willing to commit, LOL i laughed at him and told him why would i want hamburger if i can have stake? Of all the guys i dated my husband was the only one who wasnt wealthy and you know what i didnt care i love him for him not for money! :P

[Lindy]

Originally posted by BenRaines@Dec 29 2005, 04:08 PM
Lets make sure I understand this. So it is only guys who are dishonest and can't be truthful about their feelings.* It is only guys who say they will call and don't?

I want to try and avoid this being a big He said She said forum.

Can guys be dishonest?* Sure

Can gals be dishonest?* Sure

So before you give away your heart, guy or gal.* Get to know the other individual.

Let the buyer beware.

[snapback]87604[/snapback]

Hey Ben
Noooo, not what I am trying to say at all....guys don't have the monopoly on dishonesty and callousness...gals have their times too.
I think you missed the point ... just trying to help some of those young ones who don't understand the importance of following through with what they say they are going to do. So many don't realize the importance of what they say can affect someone's outlook on things.
Not saying that females are immune to turning the tables and being just as inconsiderate.

believing in something you know in your heart is right, even when everything else seems to point against it. I guess that's what life is all about...taking a stand for what you believe in, and not faltering when the chips fall around you.

my point...if you believe in something...you will understand the pitfalls.. and not falter in your stance. She just didn't believe in him as much as she should have ...two years ...should have been long enough to get to know someone, and what to expect. Life is drama....can't get away from it!

Good post Lisajo!

[BenRaines]

So in other words, Just be honest, what a novel concept. We have been trying to teach it to our children for years. If you are honest right up front then you don't have to remember what you told someone because it will be the truth all the time.

What about if someone asks "Do you like this dress? Does it make me look fat?" Well guys you will have to make up your own minds at that point if honesty is the best policy. Maybe best said "Well I don't know if I would wear it" I don't look good in a dress anyway.

Originally posted by lisajo@Dec 29 2005, 05:15 PM
Or at leats be honest and say you wont call!* I never waited on a man in my life, i never sat by the phone, i had one boyfriend that went to punch me and he got hurt! i dumped him right there!* I had another play games with me on commitment and on the day i was to get married ( to my hubby of course) he came to my home and begged me not to get married because he was willing to commit, LOL i laughed at him and told him why would i want hamburger if i can have stake?* Of all the guys i dated my husband was the only one who wasnt wealthy and you know what i didnt care i love him for him not for money! :P

[snapback]87605[/snapback]

Good show, Lisajo! Applause.

[lisajo]

Originally posted by sugarbay+Dec 29 2005, 05:31 PM-->

Good show, Lisajo! Applause.

[snapback]87617[/snapback]

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Thanks sugar! & Lindy........... never let the man get ya down!

[Justlooking]

If he calls he calls... if he doesnt he doesnt. You cant take prisoners in love. If the interest is there, he will show up. If you love something set it free. If it yours it will come back...

[john doe]

Maybe he doesn't know how important it was for her to get his call. Or maybe he doesn't care how important it was for her. That's the question I would be pondering. If he knew it was important to her, and if he cared about that, he would have called. Sometimes men are dense and need to be told, sometimes we are just too involved in what's going on that we forget what's important to others. Sometimes we are just insensitive pigs for no reason.


Maybe she communicates things nonverbally and he is the type of guy that needs to be told things instead of just having them implied.

[pushka]

Lindy, I have a similar problem to your friend. I place much importance on somebody carrying thru what they've said they'll do, including phoning, unless of course something prevents them from doing so, in which case I would at least expect a call later or the next day to explain.

My male friend doesn't seem to place the same importance on this as I do. He told me last year never to wait in for him, never to rely on him for my happiness but to make friends and use my time with them as much as with him. I managed to do that, and now our relationship is much better for it, however I did get upset earlier this week, 3 days before Christmas, after I'd bought him a Christmas present and wanted him to visit me to collect it...I don't go to his house, and one thing or another got in the way of him doing so...I had a cry about it, and felt butterflies in my tummy for 24 hours, then on the Friday morning I bumped into him in town, had a little chat about whether he might make it to my house before or at Christmas day, and lo and behold, Xmas morning...4am! he turned up, after having a night out with the lads. He was astonished and really pleased at the present I'd bought him...something for the computer which is his main hobby, and we spent the next few hours together blissfully!!

Btw, my daughter called him Scrooge because he doesn't 'rate' Christmas or birthdays and only ever buys pressies and cards for his mum...ahhhh....lol.