What Do You Do When...

#1 (**permalink**) 01-26-2006, 03:51 PM

What do you do when you are in love with someone who in 20 and on a mission and your only 14. I know this topic may sound completly stupid and horrible but i am serious. He came to my area about 9 months ago and left about 4months ago. I miss him so much i dont know what to do. Also he said to my family that before he goes home in around 4 months in Utah he will come say goodbye. Should i tell him how i feel?? Please someone answer me but if you are going to judge me negetivly in any way please dont respond to this. Thank you so much ~Bell~

prisonchaplain · #2 (**permalink**) 01-26-2006, 06:16 PM

Quote:

What do you do when you are in love with someone who in 20 and on a mission and your only 14. I know this topic may sound completly stupid and horrible but i am serious. He came to my area about 9 months ago and left about 4months ago. I miss him so much i dont know what to do. Also he said to my family that before he goes home in around 4 months in Utah he will come say goodbye. Should i tell him how i feel?? Please someone answer me but if you are going to judge me negetivly in any way please dont respond to this. Thank you so much ~Bell~

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I hope this does not seem negative or judgmental. The difference between say 24 and 31 can be slight (my own situation when I married). On the other hand, 14 and 19 is huge. Frankly, at 14 it's far better to concentrate on school studies, activities, just learning to make and be friends with people. Dating depends on your family, but is totally unnecessary in middle school and early high school.

If God wants you and this fellow to eventually be united, it will happen in several years. For now, enjoy adolescent, and relax. BTW, I married my wife when she was 24, and to this day (some 11 years) she claims I stole her youth...her prime years!

Maureen · #3 (**permalink**) 01-26-2006, 06:33 PM

I agree with prisonchaplain. You may feel this way now JTG but if you involve yourself in other activities, be busy with your friends, these feelings will pass. I don't want to sound harsh either, but 14 year old girls can be quite fickle. I would also add that 14 is young for dating, but that doesn't mean you won't have crushes. Concentrate on school and friends and this too shall pass.

M.

StrawberryFields · #4 (**permalink**) 01-26-2006, 06:42 PM

I must say that I also agree with PC and Maureen. In due time, you will find another who makes you feel specail. Adulthood comes fast enough.

Sugarbay · #5 (**permalink**) 01-26-2006, 07:21 PM

I remember when I was your age, I fell in love with an elder who was in our ward. I do know this. It will pass. Now I believe it was because of what I know now: That a man with the priesthood is very attractive because they have most powerful force in the universe. To me that is verrry sexy. I feel sorry for social climbers who go after men of "power". Priesthood is where it's at.

Hang tough, little girlfriend, your day will come.

Franken · #6 (**permalink**) 01-26-2006, 08:16 PM

I think what you are going through is just an infatuation with an unnattainable, that's what it often turns out to be and you think it's more. I know that I am almost 18 here and dating someone semi-exclusevely, but neither of us tell each other that we love each other, we say that we like each other a lot, but we don't believe that someone as young as us could know quite yet what love really is. I think it's a good division to have as a youth, to realize, hey, this really may not be the person I marry and that's totally ok because there are so many more people out there that would be just as great for me to marry. Anyway, give it a few years for dating, you'll be proud of yourself in the end.

Josie · #7 (**permalink**) 01-26-2006, 09:15 PM

At your age, these young Elders are very attractive and appealing. Most of us that were LDS when we were young were love struck on a few of them. Please remember that they are giving this time in their lives to the Lord and should be allowed to do so without any interruption whatsoever or anyone trying to take their mind off of what they should be doing.

You also know that Church standards say you should not even be dating until you are atleast 16. You are at a wonderful time in your life. Enjoy it. Stay with kids your own age and do the things a young lady your age should be doing. Enjoy your church programs, your school activities, your family and friends.

When he gets off of his mission, he will probably be thinking about school and many other things for a while. Don't allow yourself to compramise his mission rules in anyway, including being alone with him right before he goes home. He will not be released from his mission until he gets home. That means he is on mission rules until he gets home and is released by his Stake President.

I know two women now that are both in their 50's. They both married at the age of 12 and now they feel like they have been married their entire lives and they just about have. They lost their teen years, and everything that goes with being a teenager. You have the Church standards to keep you safe and protected from adult feelings and activities. Live them and trust the Lord to know what is best to allow you to be all that you can be and do all that you can do that is right and proper.

I am not trying to lecture, or be harsh. Just hoping that you will trust your parents and Church leaders to steer you in the right ways and help you to have the best teen years that this world has to offer. Don't get too serious with anyone until you finish school and decide what you want for your future. Remember, you want to be equally yoked. You want to be at the same level of maturity and spiritually as those you seek out and you always want to be worthy of the best there is out there.

Heather · #8 (**permalink**) 01-26-2006, 10:35 PM

He'd probably think it's really cute you have a crush on him, but I don't think you'd stereotypically find an RM willing to wait 4 years to legally marry.

Maureen · #9 (**permalink**) 01-27-2006, 11:22 AM

Quote:

I know two women now that are both in their 50's. They both married at the age of 12 and.....[/b]

What? (I don't want to rain of this thread but....) That's just crazy, how could parents allow a child of 12 years old to get married. These women would be from my generation - I just can't imagine how a parent would allow this.

M.

Domiducus · #10 (**permalink**) 01-27-2006, 11:42 AM

Sweet sweet Marueen, dont you realize that for the first half of the history of the United States and previously in history it was not uncommon at all for girls of the age of 12 to be married. Sometimes to men as old as 50-ish. Do I think its a correct principle? No. But times are different now and I cant accuratley judge the situations of life back then.

As for you JustTheGirl, I think its fine that you feel this way about the elder. And by that I mean take note of all of his good qualities and make them your standard when dating boys your age. As you grow and date make it a point that all your dates hold to the standard you make for yourself.
Do I think you and this elder will ever end up together? Absolutely not, but on the bright side you now have an idea of what kind of worthy man you are looking for. As you date you will find out more and more of what exactley you are seeking in an eternal companion and the day you meet that man you will recognize him right away for what and who he is, and he will recognize you as well.

Chin up, its healthy to love.