Trails Before Baptism

[matt_connolly]

Hi there....

I'm new to this forum and looking for a little advice!

My girlfriend and her family are all LDS and previously i've had no interest in 'church' things, and wasnt associated with any particular religion. Until December 05 when i had a pretty scary experience.....

for some reason we started talking about church properly for the first time and i realised i had lots of questions to ask...and she gave me a copy of the BoM. When leaving her house and walking to my car, i was terrified - i don't know what of, as there was no-one around (it was about 2am) i'm not normally scared of the dark, or being out at night, but i wasn't scared of anything specific...if was more of an overwhelming feeling of being unsafe and in danger.

i got in my car and drove home and the feeling decreased a little. when i got home and was in bed, i read part of Alma, then read Moroni's Promise, and had the most incredible feeling of completely safety, reassurance and love. it was crazy considering i'd never believed in anything before!!

since then i've been seeing the missionaries and now have a date set for my baptism (25th Feb). my girlfriend and i get on great together and everything was going fine until i started getting into church stuff and since then we seem to fall out over little things.

since i set a date and have started to organise my baptism, things have got worse - we argue almost daily and i feel depressed in myself (which is not usual!!)

also, she has said she doesnt want to read her patriarchal blessing in case it says we are not meant to be together...

any ideas or advice????

thanks,

King H

[Josie]

First of all, calm down. Make sure you are being baptized for yourself and because you believe in the church and not for your girl friend. In other words, if the two of you break up for any reason, are you going to continue to go to church? You would be better off not to make covenants with the Lord if you are not going to keep them if something would happen between you and your girlfriend.

Second: This is a pretty normal thing. Satan really works on people that are preparing to go to the church, or to the temple, or anything that would bring them closer to God. Therefore, he is hitting you where you are weak, with your girl friend.

Third: Are you and your girlfriend praying together, studying together, doing things to bring you closer to each other. If you are not, start!

Fourth: Talk to her. See what is on her mind. Ask her what is really bothering her. Let her get her feelings out in the open. Both of you need to talk about what you are going through in life right now and express your feelings to each other. Let her know how you feel too. Is she sitting in on the lessons with you? Be sure you include her in on what you are doing and your plans.

Not trying to discourage you, and do not expect you to answer these questions to me. They are for you. Hope this helps.

[Maureen]

since then i've been seeing the missionaries and now have a date set for my baptism (25th Feb). my girlfriend and i get on great together and everything was going fine until i started getting into church stuff and since then we seem to fall out over little things.[/b]

Not quite sure what you mean by this, you might have to elaborate.

since i set a date and have started to organise my baptism, things have got worse - we argue almost daily and i feel depressed in myself (which is not usual!!)[/b]

I agree with Josie, you must talk to your girlfriend, that is the only way to figure out what you two are clashing about. Maybe go to a restaurant, that way you both will have to remain civil in public.

Good luck!

M.

[mom_of_jcchlsm]

You didn't say how old the two of you are -- are we talking high school girlfriend or old-enough-to-be-thinking-marriage girlfriend? That may help some of us in trying to answer your questions.

Just off the top of my head, I thought of two things:
1) She could feel a little threatened or embarassed because all of a sudden you are on fire for the Gospel and she may not be living up to standards (real or imagined!). I mean as long as you were blissfully unaware, she didn't have to hide it from you if she violated the Word of Wisdom. Also, she may feel her Gospel knowledge and/or testimony are insufficient to answer all the questions that a new member may have, and she wants to look good in front of you, so she doesn't want you getting in over her head.
2) She may worry that you will want to serve as a missionary and will up and leave for two years. Though she may support this outwardly, and deep in her heart know that it is a worthy desire on your part, she may still struggle with the idea of giving you up for a time.

Now, not knowing either of you, I may be way off base. Ignore my comments if they don't make sense for your situation.

Another note: I was really shy about sharing my Patriarchal Blessing, even with my fiance. At the time, I lacked the spiritual maturity to recognize how valuable it was. It was not until years (lots of years!) later that I saw how the things in my Blessing were being fulfilled, and I was better able to apply the insights from it to guide my path. My husband's Patriarchal Blessing is extremely specific - his "future bride" is described both in character and physically - and guess what? The description fits me perfectly.

I joined the Church thanks in large part to the missionary efforts of a boyfriend, whom I never married. We went our separate ways, and I later met and married my husband. That story is not uncommon. Maybe she's a part of your life at this time to bring you into contact with the Church, but will not endure as a love. That's OK if that happens, though you can always work towards a more fairytale ending. Those happen all the time, too!

Keep us posted. Some of us may be willing to fast with and for you if asked. Fasting is powerful.

Second: This is a pretty normal thing. Satan really works on people that are preparing to go to the church, or to the temple, or anything that would bring them closer to God. Therefore, he is hitting you where you are weak, with your girl friend.

Third: Are you and your girlfriend praying together, studying together, doing things to bring you closer to each other. If you are not, start! [/b]

I agree on this. When I was preparing to go to the Temple. It seemed like everything went wrong. My rattletrap old car broke down, my co-workers did a complete turn-around and started baiting me about being LDS. I got sick. Oh boy I got sick. I had left my husband and had been on my own for a year and a half, and I really felt alone and vunerable.

I started to doubt that what I was doing was the right thing, that I really wasn't worthy to go to the Temple.

My Visiting Teacher told me to banish the advasary. To banish the cold, to banish all the negative things from me. I got priesthood blessings every Sunday, and I stopped by the Meetinghouse during the week and there was always two or three priesthood holders there, and I would ask for a blessing.

Josie is so right about praying with your girlfriend. Read the scriptures together ~ study them together. When you feel the negative ~ take a time out and pray. Banish it! It is as simple as that. Banish it and then don't dwell on it. If you dwell on it, you are inviting it back.

Ask for Priesthood blessings! Talk to your Bishop too. He can really help you and your girlfriend through this.

[shanstress70]

I joined the Church thanks in large part to the missionary efforts of a boyfriend, whom I never married. We went our separate ways, and I later met and married my husband. That story is not uncommon. Maybe she's a part of your life at this time to bring you into contact with the Church, but will not endure as a love. That's OK if that happens, though you can always work towards a more fairytale ending. Those happen all the time, too!

[/b]

Or of course the opposite could happen. The guy I was dating introduced me to the church, I got baptized, we got married, then we both left!