Does Anyone Have The Combination?

[oaf1984]

(I allowed pop ups for spell check and as a result it cleared my message )

The YSA ward has been a safe that I have been unable to crack lately.

Here's some background, just to put things into context:

I got back from my mission about 7 months ago.

Before that I had a girlfriend for 3.5 years, that tanked about 6 months in. Dear John on a mission, is such a thing possible?

Most of my friends were non members, but cool people nonetheless. When I got back they were totally weird. Think "Free love" mixed with that twisted mind-set that can only come from hours of hard core porn.

I thought that I would get a fresh start with some member friends.

So far, not a whole lot. It seems that I could make casual friends no prob, but could not make close friendships.

Seems like everyone else can. There are so many tight-nit groups. How did these people get in them in the first place, I am not sure.

I feel intimidated and awkward around these people, which makes me seem boring and weird, when in reality I can be fun to be around.

Has anyone faced this and found the combination?

Advice would be appricated,

Thanks.

[Barma]

I moved into my ward 7 months ago and it has taken me until now to find my niche. I have found that it is easiest to just be yourself and not think about what others are thinking of you. Look for someone in the ward who needs a friend or seems alone and try to form a bond with them. One friend, I've found, is better than none. For me.... just being friends with one person has made me become friends with lots

[Lbybug]

i see you're from edmonton?

i know that when i was going to ysa in edmonton it was hard for me to fit in there. i had 3 or 4 friends (mostly from back home down south). i was there for a year and it seemed to be the same to me. everyone already had their own group in the ward. despite efforts on my part to become friends with some of the people, it just didn't work. maybe i wasn't trying hard enough, i don't know. but i knw that other people had the same problems in my ward. the new people just sort of went unnoticed unless they already knew someone in the ward.

i don't know what the "combination" is. just keep trying and don't give up. good luck

[oaf1984]

So I am not the only one.......in a really bizare and twisted way that is nice to hear. Not to say that I am glad that it was not easy for you, but it feels better when you know you are not the only one.

[LionHeart]

I am in a similar situation. I came fresh off the farm to a small city. Just the way I am is different from the people I am around. I too am intimidated by them; and as a result, I have a hard time being myself. Which also probably makes me seem like the quiet wierd guy. Normally, I believe myself to be the type that is fun to be around.
But the only thing I can think to help this situation is to just give it time to get to know the crowd and eventually you will find where you fit in among them. I have been in this situation for about three months now and slowly but surely, I am starting to find where I fit in.

[stellati]

I am in a similar situation. I came fresh off the farm to a small city. Just the way I am is different from the people I am around. I too am intimidated by them; and as a result, I have a hard time being myself. Which also probably makes me seem like the quiet wierd guy. Normally, I believe myself to be the type that is fun to be around.
But the only thing I can think to help this situation is to just give it time to get to know the crowd and eventually you will find where you fit in among them. I have been in this situation for about three months now and slowly but surely, I am starting to find where I fit in.
[/b]

Exactly! I have been in my singles ward for about well, almost a year. It takes time. Like it was previously mentioned, find one friend and then you'll find so much more. Also, just be yourself! I think another important thing is to go to the mid week activities, if you have any. If not, well have you're own. Even if you get 1-2 people there, you'll have a place to start! Good luck! It does get easier, just give it time. P.S. I think all ward are like that, I've been in 5 different ysa wards, it's all competition, you know, ppl they're expected to date each other, and that creats tension. Just give it time.

[cinnamonbear]

I totally get where you are coming from I too felt like an outsider in my singles ward untill I started to put forth some effort and now I know most people there. I would say to go and try to be their friend. Maybe we should get some of the young single adults more active on the YSA message board as well. just a thought...

[Acez]

sheaks im nearly a YSA....no!!!!!

[krowe]

(I allowed pop ups for spell check and as a result it cleared my message )

The YSA ward has been a safe that I have been unable to crack lately.

Here's some background, just to put things into context:

I got back from my mission about 7 months ago.

Before that I had a girlfriend for 3.5 years, that tanked about 6 months in. Dear John on a mission, is such a thing possible?

Most of my friends were non members, but cool people nonetheless. When I got back they were totally weird. Think "Free love" mixed with that twisted mind-set that can only come from hours of hard core porn.

I thought that I would get a fresh start with some member friends.

So far, not a whole lot. It seems that I could make casual friends no prob, but could not make close friendships.


I've had some extensive experience with young single adult wards and single adult wards. They are all more scared of you than you are of them. Maybe keep that in mind and go out of your way to make them feel at ease with you and it will turn around.
Seems like everyone else can. There are so many tight-nit groups. How did these people get in them in the first place, I am not sure.

I feel intimidated and awkward around these people, which makes me seem boring and weird, when in reality I can be fun to be around.

Has anyone faced this and found the combination?

Advice would be appricated,

Thanks.
[/b]