Order

angelbaby · #1 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 07:04 AM

Does any one have any suggestion on how to get ones life in order? I feel constantly in a rut. I really try to get myself organized; go out more with my kids; read more do more. I'm not very social so it's very hard. And things are not great at home for the most part so i just constantly feel zapped of energy. Does any one know what i mean?
confused.
ange

Palerider · #2 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 07:53 AM

I think for starters you need a Blessing of comfort and council....ask Bishop....Hometeacher....Husband....I would try that first...sometimes we are pretty rough on ourselves.....

mom_of_jcchlsm · #3 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 08:15 AM

Every time anyone brings up "establish a house of order" in RS I feel guilty and miserable. I hope that it is only a US Mormon Culture thing, and not anything of eternal consequence, but it sure seems to me that the expectation is a clutter-free, scented-candle-burning, little nick-knacks all over, family pictures on every wall kind of order -- and that's not me.

Palerider · #4 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 09:19 AM

I think you are being too hard on yourself.....often times we as members put way to much stress on ourselves by thinking we have to be PERFECT....just do the best you can.....your home should be a place where the Spirit can reside.....I have said this before and I will say it again.....I wish all of you could get the book titled....Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson.....also remember the adversary will do everything to make you feel bad,worthless, etc.....I say be happy and smile and stay positive....and read the book if you can find it .....I believe its also available on audio.....

shanstress70 · #5 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Does any one have any suggestion on how to get ones life in order? I feel constantly in a rut. I really try to get myself organized; go out more with my kids; read more do more. I'm not very social so it's very hard. And things are not great at home for the most part so i just constantly feel zapped of energy. Does any one know what i mean?
confused.
ange

[/b]

I have a couple of suggestions:

Join a gym and exercise 4 to 5 times a week (or if you can't get away, or spare the expense to do that, make an effort to do another type of exercise that many times a week, even if it's just walking). Exercise gets you out of a 'funk' and actually gives you more energy to do fun things with your kids.

Join a local mom's group if there's one in your area. I found one on yahoogroups.com... you can just do a search there on 'your city' + moms. This will get you networked with other moms in your area who stay at home with their kids (I'm assuming that's the deal with you). They usually meet once a week at a park or at someone's home, and some have Mom's night outs once in a while - dinner or just coffee (or hot chocolate probably in your case

) out. Remember that many of these people are not very social, so make yourself go and keep making yourself go... eventually you may feel very comfortable with your new group of friends.

Experiment with supplements that can ease depression. As someone who has experienced depression in the past, I have had success with natural supplements rather than with prescribed meds, although sometimes the prescribed ones are necessary. From the small amount you posted, you didn't indicate depression, but it sounds like you are a bit down. I've had a bit of success with B-Complex, and it's quite benign from all I've read. Other supplements that claim to help with depression are Omega 3's (found in fish oil or flax oil capsules) and Sam-E.

Last but not least, don't compare yourself to others! This was my downfall, especially when I was LDS. Everyone in my ward seemed to have it so together with a perfect marriage, perfect house, perfect kids, and they seemed to enjoy every aspect of their lives. This is never true! After getting to know a few women better, I realized it was all a show. Everyone has their challenges!

HTH, as you can tell, I've been there myself... good luck!

StrawberryFields · #6 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Does any one have any suggestion on how to get ones life in order? I feel constantly in a rut. I really try to get myself organized; go out more with my kids; read more do more. I'm not very social so it's very hard. And things are not great at home for the most part so i just constantly feel zapped of energy. Does any one know what i mean?
confused.
ange

[/b]

I have a couple of suggestions:

Join a gym and exercise 4 to 5 times a week (or if you can't get away, or spare the expense to do that, make an effort to do another type of exercise that many times a week, even if it's just walking). Exercise gets you out of a 'funk' and actually gives you more energy to do fun things with your kids.

Join a local mom's group if there's one in your area. I found one on yahoogroups.com... you can just do a search there on 'your city' + moms. This will get you networked with other moms in your area who stay at home with their kids (I'm assuming that's the deal with you). They usually meet once a week at a park or at someone's home, and some have Mom's night outs once in a while - dinner or just coffee (or hot chocolate probably in your case

) out. Remember that many of these people are not very social, so make yourself go and keep making yourself go... eventually you may feel very comfortable with your new group of friends.

Experiment with supplements that can ease depression. As someone who has experienced depression in the past, I have had success with natural supplements rather than with prescribed meds, although sometimes the prescribed ones are necessary. From the small amount you posted, you didn't indicate depression, but it sounds like you are a bit down. I've had a bit of success with B-Complex, and it's quite benign from all I've read. Other supplements that claim to help with depression are Omega 3's (found in fish oil or flax oil capsules) and Sam-E.

Last but not least, don't compare yourself to others! This was my downfall, especially when I was LDS. Everyone in my ward seemed to have it so together with a perfect marriage, perfect house, perfect kids, and they seemed to enjoy every aspect of their lives. This is never true! After getting to know a few women better, I realized it was all a show. Everyone has their challenges!

HTH, as you can tell, I've been there myself... good luck!
[/b][/quote]

YES YES!!!

Very True and GREAT IDEAS!!!

I think I might use some of these ideas myself.

Sugarbay · #7 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 11:23 AM

Might check into depression, as well. Excersize is great for it, but perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to take into consideration the time of year and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Food for thought.

cinnamonbear · #8 (**permalink**) 02-23-2006, 12:48 PM

When I feel like I am in a rut I try to change things just 1 or 2 things at a time (I get overwhelmed easily). and usually I get myself out of a ru.

angelbaby · #9 (**permalink**) 02-24-2006, 07:18 AM

Thanks, they're all good ideas. You all pretty much hit the nail on the head with all of it. My husband is real nit-picky. I have the house totally organised, and he comes home from work and is like "what have you done all day?". He goes on about the house being a mess, but when i ask "what mess is that", he can't even give me an answer. His idea of messy is afew kids toys lying around. Like i'm supposed to pick up everything before they've even started / finished playing with them.
The excercise thing i'm trying to motivate myself into starting. We're still in summer here, and it's 30 odd degrees celcius most days, not to mention humidity, so i'm not falling over myself to start walking. I just feel a bit frustrated at times because i spend all day with my kids, and husband things it's totally selfish of me to want some time to myself away from them. Even if it was just an hour once a week.
And, he thwarts all my efforts to get the kids organised (i tell our 2 yr old to do something, and he'll let him do what he wants etc). Tells me not to mollicoddle them, but at the same time i'm to give them the attention they need. I do some of my chores at night so i can do them in peace, and he says i'm lazy for not doing it during the day. Like looking after children is nothing. I think that's the thing that gets me the most. He acts like taking care of children is an easy, no brainer job.

mom_of_jcchlsm · #10 (**permalink**) 02-24-2006, 08:26 AM

I've told my husband a million times: I live at work. I wake up at work. I stay at work all day long. When I go to bed at night, I'm still at work. If my work needs me at two am, I'm here. I work seven days a week, not five. There are no paid holidays and I don't get sick days or vacation.
I'm so thankful that my husband was a stay-at-home Dad for a few years when our oldest two kids were little. He's a great Dad and can be quite sympathetic to my daily struggles. But he still forgets sometimes, and I don't think he's ever connected the dots to understand how much more I do with 7 kids than he did with 2. Simple math, I know, but he doesn't get it.