Trusting Priesthood Leadership

[krowe]

I have had some horrible experiences with church leaders. Before I begin, yes, I'm nice to them, respectful, typical molly mormon type. I have heard the they are only human speach several times. I'm all in on them being human, but when the decisions they make and actions they take very very seriously impact lives, memberships, testimonies. I would have thought they would take some consideration to maybe pray about it, get some advice. Or not let thier pride and prejudices rule their decisions. I used to think that leaders were led by the spirit. I think they still can be, if they will listen, but I'm running into to many who don't bother to listen or let go of their pride enough to get some help if they are out of thier league and their "humanness" might cause them to make a decision that could be very harmful. I would like to forgive and trust that when I go to the bishop or stake president that he really cares about me and that he will honestly pray and recieve answers through inspiration about their decisions, but I just can't seem to get over it. I don't trust them, believe them and I see the hurt and frustration left behind by their "human" mistakes. I'm not talking about somebody thought they should be primary president and then someone else got called. I'm talking about things like abuse, adultry, excommunication, the lack of holding a church court, safety that has been threatened, those sorts of things.

[Josie]

Krowe,

I don't know what happened or if it pertains to you or someone you know or are close too, and I don't need to know those things. If this is your Bishop you need to go and sincerely and unaccusingly talk to him and seek understanding of why the things were done that were. If it was a friend or relative encourage them to do the same thing. Also, take your concerns to the Lord and lay your feelings in the Lord's lap, because you know that the Lord knows the truth of all things. Sometimes there are reasons that we do not understand behind things that are done, especially if we are on the outside looking in at a situation. Learning to trust others with our welfare can only be done through trusting the Lord and those he has called to take care of his business here upon this earth.

We don't know how much prayer and effort toward our welfare has been put in by these leaders before they ever come to meet with us. We don't know what they do behind the scenes when no one else is around to see or know.

[krowe]

Krowe,

I don't know what happened or if it pertains to you or someone you know or are close too, and I don't need to know those things. If this is your Bishop you need to go and sincerely and unaccusingly talk to him and seek understanding of why the things were done that were. If it was a friend or relative encourage them to do the same thing. Also, take your concerns to the Lord and lay your feelings in the Lord's lap, because you know that the Lord knows the truth of all things. Sometimes there are reasons that we do not understand behind things that are done, especially if we are on the outside looking in at a situation. Learning to trust others with our welfare can only be done through trusting the Lord and those he has called to take care of his business here upon this earth.

We don't know how much prayer and effort toward our welfare has been put in by these leaders before they ever come to meet with us. We don't know what they do behind the scenes when no one else is around to see or know.
[/b]

I did go to these bishops and stake presidents about my concerns, before I talked to them I was feeling exactly what you said. Maybe there was more to the story, maybe they had prayed and the right things were done, I just didn't understand. I was hoping they would tell me this, in fact. I was hoping I would at least learn that they were very concerned about the matters at hand and they did the best the could. That was not the response. I have and continue to take my concerns to the Lord. I have found some peace. But I'm still very troubled.

[shanstress70]

Granted, I'm no longer LDS, but I have always been totally against letting anyone make decisions for my life. I have no idea what you are talking about here, but you are in control of your own life and know what decisions are best for you.

Some guy in a suit does not care for you the way he cares about his own family.

And yes, bishops and the like are very human... they have done hideous things... not to say they all have. Just like any other group of people, some are wonderfully caring people, and some are the total opposite of that... with most falling somewhere in between.

To me, it is dangerous to put all your trust in them. People who do this put their family at risk for all kinds of thing, including sexual abuse. (I'm not speaking only of the LDS faith, but it has happened here as well.) Thankfully, none of this has happened to me, but I have vowed to myself to never belong to a church that controls so much of your life. I will accept guidance from God, but not from someone claiming to be speaking for him.

Think about what is best for you, and act on it!

[krowe]

Thank you! It's nice to hear from someone who is not lds on the matter. I did do what was best for me and my family. I still get flak for it, but I would do it again Thankfully. Maybe the answer is that I cannot trust bishops and priesthood leaders. It is difficult for me having grown up in this faith to say that or believe it. Especially with so many lessons being about sustaining church leaders and respecting the priesthood. But it may be that in the times we are facing that even our "leaders" should not be trusted too much.

[Jason]

Are you questioning why your ex-husband was not excommunicated for adultry?

[Ray]

Okay, I’ll share my approach to my leaders.

When I need help with a problem, I will first go to my Father in prayer, and if He then tells me I should talk to somebody else about the problem, I will then talk to them to either try to get help from them or to at least make them aware of the problem.

And if those people that I tell don’t help, or they don’t do as I think they should do, I just shrug it off with the understanding in my mind that THEY ARE ONLY HUMAN!!!

Heh, and I think thinking that helps it sink in.

And btw, I don’t “expect” other “regular” people to solve “real” problems for me either. I simply go to God and anybody else I think can help, and then if nobody tries to help, or doesn’t do an absolutely perfect job at doing what I think they ought to do, I just figure that they are only human and still learning to me more like God.

Or in other words, I think part of this “test” we are here to take helps us to see how well we handle things, when everything DOESN'T go right.

And don’t forget, we should also contact the Police and Firemen and other civil authorities when there is really a big problem.

[krowe]

Are you questioning why your ex-husband was not excommunicated for adultry?
[/b]

No. I can understand that there are as many reasons for various church disciplines as there are people. Even when it comes to adultry.

I don't really want this to be a guessing game. I'm being vague on purpose. Besides my own problems I have had contact with very many others who have had similiar experiences each just a little different, but seemingly the same type of responses from church leaders. The others are also women and find the responses equally unconsciounable, but have been told that leaders are simply human. It's possible my standards for church leaders are simply too high.

When it is something that you are advised to discuss with your priesthood leaders about, and you are also doing all that you can outside church lines to take care of the problem, but the leaders don't even follow their own manual because it is too uncomfortable to face. Do you then shrug it off? There is only human and there is morally wrong. What is your stance on the SS officers who stood by following Hitler's orders?

[krowe]

I suppose after saying that I should explain. It is my understanding that the safety and well-being of women and children in a bishop's ward would be a concern. If knowing that some are being severly threatened but because it's embarrassing, too difficult, too unbelievable because of who it is that is doing the threatening they choose to turn a blind eye, and a deaf ear and it's more than just one leader but several. It has really caused me to question whether to trust them or not. Now, for those of you who will ask "why didn't you do something". I did. Thankfully we are all alive because I did and because I didn't simply roll over and do whatever my bishop thought I should or shouldn't do. Because of that, they say, see it is alright, it turned out okay so what is the problem? Heavenly Father protected you, so it's okay that the bishop didn't do anything, or the stake president, or the other bishop or the counselor in the stake presidency, etc. After all they are only human. And yes I have gone back and talked to them about it. Same responses. And so many women I have talked to have gotten the same responses. Now I wonder why I should bother talking to a bishop at all if I have problems, concerns, questions, needs. I fear that I will get a negative response or at best an apathetic one. Certainly no understand, support or concern for my welfare.

[mom_of_jcchlsm]

I have to put my two cents in here: not everywhere is like that! When we moved into our ward, the Bishop welcomed us and then almost immediately pulled me and my husband aside and informed us that a certain man who came to Church every Sunday was a known child molester. He had been excommunicated years ago, but chose to come every week just the same, and of course, was welcome to do so. But, everyone who walked in the door or came on Wednesday nights or even walked through the parking lot was made aware of the situation so that we could be careful. The man had a shaddow on him wherever he went in the building - the Elders Quorum took turns keeping tabs on him. The man died two years ago, and we all feel releived. But our Bishops (we had a change of Bishopric during that time) protected everyone within their realm of influence while still extending the hand of mercy toward the man in question.