One Place Or Many?

mom_of_jcchlsm · #1 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 11:03 AM

opinions and experiences needed!

For a child, is it better to stay in one town and grow up there or to move around? (assuming all other factors are stable) Is moving once or twice over K - 12 a bad thing? How often is too much moving around? Does it matter how old the kids are? Does it only affect them short-term (until they settle into the new place), or does it change their overall success (academic, social, general happiness as an adult later?)

background: I moved in 3rd grade, between 5th and 6th, and again after 7th. My husband moved around almost every 18 months all growing up. For both of us, it was because of our Dad's jobs, and in both cases, employment was stable, just required changing locations. We have been in this town nearly 8 years, and are looking at moving. We can stay here. The move would mean an increase in pay, but not enough to tip the scales necessarily. Hubby and I both feel a change might do us good, but we can't seem to justify it beyond saying that we moved around a lot growing up so we feel a little stuck here. Wondering what your takes are.

lisajo · #2 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 11:15 AM

I can say i grew up in one place all my life, i still have friends from kidergarten i didnt move outta my home town till way after i was married, i still have many ties back in American Fork, now my Hubby bbbrhatt was a military kid his parents moved several times when he was a kid, he doesnt have a home town, and no where near the ties i have, my kids have all grown up here in this small town i it has been very good for them, my oldest moved back to Utah to go to collage (lives now in the house i grew up in) and he still has his friends from here, now i think it is good not to move around but>>>>>>>>>>>>> i did think it would of been way cool when i was younger to exsperience a move to another place, moving here was a total shock for me, going to Nevada from Utah was culture shock i must say, i never new how different the world could be out side of Utah :P

Barma · #3 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 11:36 AM

I moved around ALOT when I was growing up. My father was in the military and we moved all the time. Now I have so many fond experiences from moving. my fondests memories and friends were as a result of different ares. There is a growth experience in trying new places. Plus I still have close ties to people I lived around in each place I lived.

lisajo · #4 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 11:49 AM

Quote:

I moved around ALOT when I was growing up. My father was in the military and we moved all the time. Now I have so many fond experiences from moving. my fondests memories and friends were as a result of different ares. There is a growth experience in trying new places. Plus I still have close ties to people I lived around in each place I lived.
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Thats cool, i think that either way it works out, both are good exsperiences, Like i said i did think it would have been cool to have moved when i was young, but staying wasnt to bad either, I think the most important thing over all is family, it always comes first, being with them where ever you are is the Top

shanstress70 · #5 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 01:00 PM

There are advantages and disadvantages of both. I think it's good to minimize the moves, unlike what my mom did! I went to 5 elementary schools and 2 high schools - just bc my single mom wanted to move.

To this day, she still has no idea how difficult this was for me. I never really had any ties to anyone, and no lasting friendships.

I love my mom, but she is quite hypocritical. My brother is now divorced and his daughter has gone to four elementary schools. Mom just can't believe they would do such a thing to her.

I'm all... HELLO? That's what you did to me!

Anyway, I don't think one or two times is a big deal, but probably best to stay in one area if you can easily do it. UNLESS you and your family are unhappy with the area, and especially if it's an unsafe city.

mom_of_jcchlsm · #6 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 02:04 PM

we are in a small town here, but it is growing very fast! When we came here in '98, there were about 5 or 6 thousand people. The town has more than doubled in 8 years. My oldest daughter has a few friends who have been with her since 2nd grade, but the steady influx means there are always new faces. But it's still "small town-ish" - there's only one high school, one grocery store. In fact, there really is only one stop light in town that changes (there's also a flashing red, but I don't count that one 'cause it could just be a stop sign). And we're looking at moving to the subburbs of a vary large city.
I tend to think moving will give the kids an opportunity to develop people skills they wouldn't otherwise need. It will put us closer to ballet and art classes (important to our family - right now we make quite a sacrifice to drive our kids to lessons).

BenRaines · #7 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 03:07 PM

I once had someone tell me "Why would anyone move from where they grew up except for better job opportunities or living conditions. Move from means town.

I lived in four different cities growing up until 9th grade. Stayed there until I went on my mission. The city that I lived in from 9th grade until graduation is the town I call home.

My children lived in the same city where they were born until they moved out except for the two youngest. The two youngest moved out of the country with us to the Caribbean for four years. They had a great time and wouldn't change the experience but have no close friends their age, due to the move during the years when you make those friendships.

I am still close friends with four friends from high school & church. If I could afford to and find a good job I would still live where I grew up. Of course it is between Santa Cruz and Monterey, CA. Garden spot of the state of California.

Ben

mom_of_jcchlsm · #8 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 04:07 PM

I lived in Monterey for a while. In fact, I was baptized in Seaside. Paradise, you're right! But expensive!!!!

Barma · #9 (**permalink**) 03-01-2006, 04:15 PM

Quote:

I once had someone tell me "Why would anyone move from where they grew up except for better job opportunities or living conditions. Move from means town.

I lived in four different cities growing up until 9th grade. Stayed there until I went on my mission. The city that I lived in from 9th grade until graduation is the town I call home.

My children lived in the same city where they were born until they moved out except for the two youngest. The two youngest moved out of the country with us to the Caribbean for four years. They had a great time and wouldn't change the experience but have no close friends their age, due to the move during the years when you make those friendships.

I am still close friends with four friends from high school & church. If I could afford to and find a good job I would still live where I grew up. Of course it is between Santa Cruz and Monterey, CA. Garden spot of the state of California.

Ben
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I agree... but I don't think the keeping friendships is a problem if you want to keep them and make an effort to keep them going.

Palerider · #10 (**permalink**) 03-02-2006, 10:54 AM

I went to school with a couple of guys during our senior year. There families moved in and both of these guys said they did not feel like the High School we attended was there High School. I think that would be tough having to move before the Senior year in High School. We lived in the same School District for our kids and if we were gonna move staying in the same District would be the only condition, unless it was job related.