What Does The Church Think Aboiut Mental Abuse To Your Family

[loviskids]

i am a convert to the church i have 2 children from a past marriage and 2 children with my husband now and he mwntally abuses them to as far as i had to let my 9 yr old son go live with his grandma and my 12 yr old daughter hates me now because of the he treats her i dont know what to do

[shanstress70]

i am a convert to the church i have 2 children from a past marriage and 2 children with my husband now and he mwntally abuses them to as far as i had to let my 9 yr old son go live with his grandma and my 12 yr old daughter hates me now because of the he treats her i dont know what to do
[/b]

If someone abuses your children in any fashion, you should leave him.

[BenRaines]

Please define abuse. My wife is constantly grounding our children so that they can't go and play with their friends. This for not making their bed or picking up the floor in their room. I think this is abusive and she thinks it is normal. Sounds like we should all move out or kick her out of the house.

Ben Raines

[shanstress70]

My definition of abuse is to intentionally harm someone. I don't think that is what your wife is doing. I'm sure that she thinks what she's doing is for the good of your children.

If my husband were to intentionally harm our child, I would leave him immediately.

[Lindy]

i am a convert to the church i have 2 children from a past marriage and 2 children with my husband now and he mwntally abuses them to as far as i had to let my 9 yr old son go live with his grandma and my 12 yr old daughter hates me now because of the he treats her i dont know what to do[/b]

Children come first.... someone has to protect the children ok? Here's a little story for you:
I have a family member who's husband was mentally abusing her 4 year daughter from a previous relationship... calling her stupid, terrible, worthless, etc. And punishing the child for the smallest things that any normal 4 year old would do.... The little girl would hide in the closet to cry so she didn't get yelled at for crying. Her mother tried to reason with him about his treatment of her daughter..... but he didn't listen. She left him one day....took both her children and went home to family. She knew she needed to get her daughter out of that environment before she was permantly scared. It took his wife leaving with the children to get them away from him....that the husband finally realized there really was something wrong... and he got help. How I don't know.... But they worked out the problems he had towards the 4 year old... They got back together... and he loves her like his own now. It took a drastic step for him to realize what he lost....and what he wanted back into his life.

Loveiskids..... your name says it all.... LOVE IS KIDS..... protect your children PLEASE
Verbal abuse is still abuse....and it can still scar for life.

If talking to your husband isn't doing the job.... go to your bishop, a counslor... somebody to get help... it needs to stop.

Ben~ I know you were joking about your wife abusing your kids by grounding them....heck I grounded my kids more often than not to help them learn responsibility and consequences......
sorry.... it's not abuse Mr Raines

[Ashleyconnor]

<div class='quotemain'>
i am a convert to the church i have 2 children from a past marriage and 2 children with my husband now and he mwntally abuses them to as far as i had to let my 9 yr old son go live with his grandma and my 12 yr old daughter hates me now because of the he treats her i dont know what to do[/b]

Children come first.... someone has to protect the children ok? Here's a little story for you:
I have a family member who's husband was mentally abusing her 4 year daughter from a previous relationship... calling her stupid, terrible, worthless, etc. And punishing the child for the smallest things that any normal 4 year old would do.... The little girl would hide in the closet to cry so she didn't get yelled at for crying. Her mother tried to reason with him about his treatment of her daughter..... but he didn't listen. She left him one day....took both her children and went home to family. She knew she needed to get her daughter out of that environment before she was permantly scared. It took his wife leaving with the children to get them away from him....that the husband finally realized there really was something wrong... and he got help. How I don't know.... But they worked out the problems he had towards the 4 year old... They got back together... and he loves her like his own now. It took a drastic step for him to realize what he lost....and what he wanted back into his life.

Loveiskids..... your name says it all.... LOVE IS KIDS..... protect your children PLEASE
Verbal abuse is still abuse....and it can still scar for life.

If talking to your husband isn't doing the job.... go to your bishop, a counslor... somebody to get help... it needs to stop.

Ben~ I know you were joking about your wife abusing your kids by grounding them....heck I grounded my kids more often than not to help them learn responsibility and consequences......
sorry.... it's not abuse Mr Raines
[/b][/quote]

Dont give up; what you have done is a great move. Removing you children from the abuse is the 1st step now you need to make your husband understand what he is doing is damaging your children's life. Like one of the viewers before me seek counselling, see your bishop because he is there to help you and to make sure that any families in his care are ok and are not facing any danger. Spend alot of time with your children and make sure that they understand why they are staying away from you and your husband. Your children should be able to understand what is happening and you need to spend sometime with them talking and see how they are feeling. Communication is the only way to go when it comes to children and they need to know that mum loves them and that she will do anything to protect them from the abuse that is happening around them. The lord will bless you and pray with your children; the spirit will show you the way in overcoming this temptation of Satan that he has over the family at the moment. Dont let him win; use the resources that you have in your ward........Relief Society, Bishop, Friends. Dont do this alone you have friends. Take care and hope everything goes ok.

NEVER EVER GET RID OF CHILDREN BY SENDING THEM ELSEWHERE TO LIVE BECAUSE OF A MAN. DUMP THIS MAN AND PROTECT YOUR BABIES! THAT IS JOB NUMBER 1![size=7]

[Laureltree]

Amen...Monica..................

Any type of real abuse, verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual should be stopped. If any of these are truly truly happening cotact your bishop and an lds services family councilor. They will make sure the children and you get the help you need.

[Maureen]

Please define abuse. My wife is constantly grounding our children so that they can't go and play with their friends. This for not making their bed or picking up the floor in their room. I think this is abusive and she thinks it is normal. Sounds like we should all move out or kick her out of the house.[/b]

I'm going to have to agree with Ben here. Constantly grounding a child for these little things is silly and obviously not working if she is constantly doing it with no good results at the end. Make the discipline appropriate to the crime. I tend to think that if a parent feels they need to punish over any little incident then it's more of a control issue - the parent feels they need to be in control, even when it's not necessary. Sometimes loosening the reigns and having faith in the child that they can make good decisions on their own can work out to the benefit of both parent and child.

M.

[shanstress70]

<div class='quotemain'>
Please define abuse. My wife is constantly grounding our children so that they can't go and play with their friends. This for not making their bed or picking up the floor in their room. I think this is abusive and she thinks it is normal. Sounds like we should all move out or kick her out of the house.[/b]

I'm going to have to agree with Ben here. Constantly grounding a child for these little things is silly and obviously not working if she is constantly doing it with no good results at the end. Make the discipline appropriate to the crime. I tend to think that if a parent feels they need to punish over any little incident then it's more of a control issue - the parent feels they need to be in control, even when it's not necessary. Sometimes loosening the reigns and having faith in the child that they can make good decisions on their own can work out to the benefit of both parent and child.

M.
[/b][/quote]

I agree that this type of punishment is not very effective, but I still don't call it abuse... just ineffective.