Should I Talk To My Bishop?

[SometimesIWonder]

Alright... I'm wondering. A few years ago I got involved in the cybersex thing... I stopped about a year ago. And I have prayed for forgiveness and everything - but I'm starting to second-guess myself. We are supposed to go to our bishop if we break the law of chastity... but I wonder - since I didn't actually have sex... I mean, I don't know. Do I have to go to my bishop or can I go through the steps of repentance on my own?

And if I do go to the bishop... would he tell my parents?

[Palerider]

If you are second guessing yourself....go talk to your Bishop....if it were me I wouldn't tell your parents......if they find out it will be because you tell them.........

[BenRaines]

I agree with Palerider. Go talk with your Bishop. He will not tell anything to your parents. If he feels you need help in staying away from Cybersex or the temptation he will recommend that you talk to your parents but he should not force you to.

A clear concience is a good thing and it sounds like you don't have one right now.

Ben Raines

[CaptainTux]

Let me preface this by saying I am not LDS. I will also preface this by saying, good for you for struggling with this and deciding to walk away from it. Pornography addiction on the Internet is very prevalent and can lead to dangerous things due to predators out there. I work in computers and the things I see on hard drives never ceases to amaze me. That said, I would seek spiritual council on this matter. I know it may seem embarrassing, but I assure you, you will not be telling your Bishop anything he has not heard before. Sadly, he likely hears it after a marriage or a life has been damaged. In your case, you get wise council and an opportunity to move forward. Please tell the Bishop without fear.

[SometimesIWonder]

Thank you all... that is very good advice! =] Yes - I agree. Even if I don't really *have* to talk to my bishop... I probably should so I will have a clear concience.

Thank-you! Now I just need to build up the courage to actually do it! =]

[cynyclsgirl]

I simply wanted to say that sometimes we dont allow ourselves to be forgiven. If you were sincere in your prayers, next thing you need to simply ask Heavenly Father for a "sign" as to calm your troubled heart and mind that he has forgiven you.
I personally dont think the Bishop needs to be brought into this matter, not for fear of him looking at you different, Heavenly Father is 100% aware of your actions and repentance. just let go! and forgive yourself now!

[CaptainTux]

I respectfully disagree. I think spiritual council is needed. Questionable Internet sites at a young age convolute some crucial matters in life and is swiftly being revealed as being highly addictive. The dirty sites have America in it's grip and is a multi billion dollar a year industry. It hits people of all walks of life, racial profiles, social circles, tax brackets, etc. God can and will forgive. Ultimately, that is the creators job and not something any of us can do. However, advice to avoid falling into this very easy trap is another matter. That needs strength, resolve, God's help, and some wise council and instruction from someone in spiritual authority.

Here is a stat on how much there is in the web
http://internet-filter-review.toptenreview...statistics.html

I've seen a marriage of a good friend of mine crumble because of the husband's $900 a month internet adiction.

I saw another fall apart from an addiction from the wife meeting young men on the web, at least 13 of them the last year.

I saw a 16 year old girl meet a 36 year old man on the web and become a victim of an unspeakable crime.

If you fall once to this, you can fall again unless you are as well equipped and prepared as humanly possible.

Airbrushed and photoshopped woman create an impossible ideal for a wife to meet. The way these people behave also creates an incorrect perception of how people behave and act in a relationship. This issue has had quite an impact on our society.

[BenRaines]

CapTux, I agree. Pornography is more addicting than drugs or alcohol. No matter how old you get the images etched in your mind will always be there. Able to pop up at any time.

Spiritual counseling helps. Don't fall to the belief that oh if I just quit it or if I seek a sign I can have it taken care of.

The Lord has authorized men upon the earth to help you with getting the forgiveness you are seeking and to make things right.

Talk to your Bishop.

Ben Raines

[CaptainTux]

CapTux, I agree. Pornography is more addicting than drugs or alcohol. No matter how old you get the images etched in your mind will always be there. Able to pop up at any time.
[/b]

You hit the nail on the head! to get drugs, I have to find a back alley and there is risk. To get booze (if I am under age), I have to get a fake id, get a grown up to cop it for you, or some other method that involves risk. If I drive drunk, I could get a DUI. People will smell it on my breath. Fear of getting caught is a deterrent.

With this stuff, there is no back alley, there is no risk. You are a few clicks away from what you want at any time. When I was a kid, you had to get magazines through various means. It was more difficult to get. Now, it is the easiest vice to get involved in.

I am a man in my 30's and I struggle with a beautiful woman walking down the street. Most men do. To even consider the bad sites, snakes on a plan, man.

[Fiannan]

The real harm I see from the internet porn phenomena is that young men and women (yes, it's about equal) are getting their sexual education (so to speak) from pornography. I was talking with a guy a while back who works with college-age people. He graduated high school and attended college in the early 1980s. He asked what same sex experimentation seemed to be like in those days where I went to school and I commented that it was just flannel shirt gals and freaky types (and the ones who really liked to push the limits -- a relative of mine comes to mind) who were into such things -- which he agreed from his location too. However, it seems today that the attractive, feminine and normal young women today are fine with bisexuality and the rate of experimentation is skyrocketing. I cannot think of anything different today than high exposure to such acts on most porn sites today. I have also read articles dealing with other sexual practices becoming popular that were fringe acts with high schoolers in the past but are no longer taboo. The internet was credited with this.

Not everybody who views porn gets addicted, and fewer still become sexual criminals. And I do think there is a "Reefer Madness" mentality with some as it comes to porn. That being said however I think it is best that we take the safe course and avoid dangerous activities (drinking alcohol, viewing people having sex on the net, etc.). The "education" porn provides is hardly something desirable and certainly is not compatable with scripture.