Dont Know Where To Begin

[karrie91]

I know that this is maybe a long shot, but last time I had a question the different people here helped so here goes.

I joined the church 6 years ago now and was firm in my belief. I moved countries and remained firm in my belief. Then topics happened that I didnt understand and I allowed it to get the better of me. Now I havent been to church in months and deliberately avoided everyone in my ward even people I considered friends. At the time it was because I was angry and now I realise it is because Satan helped put a little doubt in my mind and helped it grow.

Now I feel terrible, I am not happy like I used to be and feel lost in the world. I feel much better when I read my scriptures and pray, which is a good thing. I want to return to church.

My issue is two fold. Part of my doubt was to the intergrity of the church and I left angry and told the bishop he was controlled by satan.. I know I know, really not the respect I should have shown. I have spoken to the state president about my issues with the bishop and he has tried to reassure me of Gods plan and that its ok to come to him with these issues.

Secondly, I discovered that my husband only went to church with me to make me happy and so we sat down and discussed why. He truly believes God doesnt love him. He has also become very happy to point out flaws and "nitpick" ideas. He smokes, swears and says that the church is wrong because God wouldnt exclude anyone from his temple if he loved us. I know that this is because he likes the idea of eternal marriage but has a block in his mind on it.

In this time away from the church I have also became lax in my behaviours, and done things I shouldnt have done, such as drink and swear. I also began working Sundays in order to have an excuse not to go to church. My husband pointed out my swearing so I have worked really hard to get that under control and I have to say I am doing much better.

My issue is what do I do next? I know what I want I just dont know how to do it. I want to come home!

Im sorry this is a long post I just dont know where to go to ask these questions. How can I help my husband? He was baptised 30 years ago and my heart tells me he wants this but is angry. and what do I do to come back.

Thank you for your time and patience in reading this, any advice would be welcomed.

[Jason]

You had a drink?!!! You're doomed now lady.

Why don't you act like the adult you're supposed to be and make a big girl decision? If you want to be a Mormon, then go to church. If not, then don't. What the heck is your problem?

[miztrniceguy]

I know that this is maybe a long shot, but last time I had a question the different people here helped so here goes.

I joined the church 6 years ago now and was firm in my belief. I moved countries and remained firm in my belief. Then topics happened that I didnt understand and I allowed it to get the better of me. Now I havent been to church in months and deliberately avoided everyone in my ward even people I considered friends. At the time it was because I was angry and now I realise it is because Satan helped put a little doubt in my mind and helped it grow.

Now I feel terrible, I am not happy like I used to be and feel lost in the world. I feel much better when I read my scriptures and pray, which is a good thing. I want to return to church.

My issue is two fold. Part of my doubt was to the intergrity of the church and I left angry and told the bishop he was controlled by satan.. I know I know, really not the respect I should have shown. I have spoken to the state president about my issues with the bishop and he has tried to reassure me of Gods plan and that its ok to come to him with these issues.

Secondly, I discovered that my husband only went to church with me to make me happy and so we sat down and discussed why. He truly believes God doesnt love him. He has also become very happy to point out flaws and "nitpick" ideas. He smokes, swears and says that the church is wrong because God wouldnt exclude anyone from his temple if he loved us. I know that this is because he likes the idea of eternal marriage but has a block in his mind on it.

In this time away from the church I have also became lax in my behaviours, and done things I shouldnt have done, such as drink and swear. I also began working Sundays in order to have an excuse not to go to church. My husband pointed out my swearing so I have worked really hard to get that under control and I have to say I am doing much better.

My issue is what do I do next? I know what I want I just dont know how to do it. I want to come home!

Im sorry this is a long post I just dont know where to go to ask these questions. How can I help my husband? He was baptised 30 years ago and my heart tells me he wants this but is angry. and what do I do to come back.

Thank you for your time and patience in reading this, any advice would be welcomed.
[/b]

start by going to see the bishop....he will be glad you do.

many of us had times where we slipped away and our behavior reflected the more wordly lifestyle. that's the nice thing about repentence. if you are truly sorry, you can be and will be cleansed.

good luck

[moroni]

True. The onley thing that you need to do is see the bishop repent and go to church if you still want to be a mormon. And jason. That wwas very rude of you for saying that. Shame on you!

[rosie321]

I don't know what made you so angry at your bishop - but I don't think its wrong to bring
up your questions and concerns even if it could have been said in more appropriate ways. You expressed it in the best way that you could at the time.

Don't ever forget we are all learning and growing. Maybe he needed to hear what it was that you had to say, eventhough you don't know it now. Or maybe you needed to get if off your chest so you could move on and grow furthur in the Lord. Either way whats done is done.

It sounds like you feel bad for what you did. How will you feel better? It sounds like you feel that its going back to church and trying to rectify what was done but you seem afraid to do so.

The one question that you need to ask yourself now is who do you fear more man or God? Who do you put your trust in? The scriptures repeat that question throughout.

You should be serviing Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The bishop is a learning and growing person who God has placed to watch over the portion of the church and try to direct it to the best of his ability. He was not put there because he was perfect. Maybe God wants you there to keep him on his toes and maybe you could use some of his insights. Sometimes things get better and stronger after a fight. A fight sometimes has a way of pounding out some of the bad stuff.

I have just started reading Cats Cradle by a member of the church. It is good. I encourage you to read it.

As far as your husband just do what you know to be right and trust God on the rest.

[rosie321]

One last thought.

Who in the long run do you think it hurts more by you not going? You or your bishop? You or your ward? Its you that is suffering and it is you that feels it. Do what you think is right and what will draw you closer to God and the potential God has for you. Don't worry about the other.

(Easier said then done I know )

Blessings

[StrawberryFields]

I know that this is maybe a long shot, but last time I had a question the different people here helped so here goes.

I joined the church 6 years ago now and was firm in my belief. I moved countries and remained firm in my belief. Then topics happened that I didnt understand and I allowed it to get the better of me. Now I havent been to church in months and deliberately avoided everyone in my ward even people I considered friends. At the time it was because I was angry and now I realise it is because Satan helped put a little doubt in my mind and helped it grow.

Now I feel terrible, I am not happy like I used to be and feel lost in the world. I feel much better when I read my scriptures and pray, which is a good thing. I want to return to church.

[/b]

I just saw this thread today. I hope you are still around.

I too have been where you are and I have had that lost feeling you mention.

If the bishop that you had a problem is still your bishop you need to talk with him. If you have a new bishop, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go to church. Seek forgiveness where needed and you will begin to feel better.

Talk to your husband about your plans and see if he would like to join you in returning to church. Read your scriptures, pray and ask for guidance in all things. Get rid of the things in your home that have brought you sadness( drinking). Make arrangements not to work on Sundays so that you free yourself up for church. Be aware that as you begin to make these changes Satan will be working against you pulling you in the other direction.

You have come to know that being in the church brings more happiness and peace then being in the world. Sunday is you day of rest, you deserve to have your reserves filled again for the next week.

Be kind to those around you, be patient, and forgive those who have hurt you and do the same for yourself.

[Dror]

Karrie,

I agree with Strawberry Fields. You will always be welcome back at church.

About the bishop thing, if the same bishop is still your bishop, do try working it out with him. If he's still a jerk, continue going to church anyway--it's not his church, after all, it's Jesus' Church. Nobody says you have to like your bishop, and you have as much right to be there as he does. Make other friends, and things will be ok.

I'm glad you want to come back.

[boyando]

Karrie;
It looks like you have come to a fork in the road. One path goes up and the other goes down. The path that goes down is the path of least resistance. The path that goes up has many obstacle's. Some are happy with the view from the bottom. Your soul cries out for the view that you remeber, on the way to the top.

We are all some were on that path. No one said that it would be easy - just that it would be worth while. Hey look, you have friends just ahead, who are willing to lift you over the next boulder. I have the feeling, that you would do the same for them and for me if I lag behind. - Allmosthumble

[angelbaby]

You're totally on the right track. Just go back. The longer you stay away the easier it is to not bother. Just go to church. Sit down and talk to your bishop and just let him know everything that has worried you. Ask for a blessing even. Maybe you could get your husband to have a chat with bishop too. Another thing that may help him is having the discussions with the missionaries again. If he was only doing it for you the first time, then maybe this time round he can go in a little more prayerfully and really ponder & look for what he needs to find for himself.
Hope it works out for you, i know exactly what you are going through. You're not the only one, just never forget that your Heavenly Father loves you, and so do alot of other ppl.