I need some advice! Please help.

[Kzack123]

I am engaged to be married at the end of the summer. I have told my future spouse everything about my past and she still thinks I am the most wonderful person. I recently had a slip up and masturbated in the middle of the night. I quickly got a hold of my bishop and told him everything that happened. He said to move on and use it as a learning experience and to just try a few things to be sure it doesn't happen again since it is something that is not common for me. Well I am having a hard time feeling good. I am torn on whether I should tell my fiancé what happened. I know that she will love me still, but I am not sure if it is necessary to let her know. She can tell that something is wrong, but she said that she doesn't need to know, she just wants me happy. I am really good at being extremely hard on myself. I look at what happen and am full of disgust and disappointment. I even look on it and feel like I am going to throw up. I am just so disappointed that this has happened since I am an engaged man. Any advice would be great.

[Vort]

Guilt is a good and wonderful thing insofar as it motivates you to repent. Past that, it is worse than a waste of your time.

Masturbation is not good. But it's not the end of the world, either. Your bishop has told you to use it as a learning experience and move on. Follow your bishop's counsel. Move on.

I see no reason to tell your fiancée (two 'e's, assuming she's female). What is she going to do with the information? Console you? Scold you? Nod sympathetically? But if you really feel it would be dishonest to hide it from her, I guess you should tell her. Then let it go.

[Kzack123]

Thank you for that. I guess I have always looked at that sin like it is the worst of the worst....

[Shawn_]

Your bishop, as a Judge in Israel, told you to move on. Do it! The guilt might not go away quickly, but just move on.

[HEthePrimate]

You want to know why your fiancee still loves you? It's because you're a good person. Masturbation does not make you a bad person, it just means you're human. Frankly, I'd be surprised if you didn't masturbate. (Not that think about it lot! ) So, marry your fiancee, be good to her, and be happy. And congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!

Seriously, my friend, don't worry too much about masturbation. The Law of Chastity is about being faithful to your spouse, not about whether or not you play with yourself in the shower. Some people think masturbation is such a horribly serious sin, but they have their priorities messed up. There are so many far, far more serious problems in the world that require our attention that spending too much time worrying about masturbation is a waste of time and energy, and a distraction from doing more important things.

If you want to be a righteous person, do something to help another person. If someone is grieving the loss of a loved one, offer them a shoulder to cry on. If someone is struggling financially, give them some money, and help them find a job, if they're unemployed. If you know someone who is "different" and socially awkward, be their friend. Those are the truly important things in life.

Peace to you.

HEP

[Misshalfway]

It's interesting, in the church, how we react to masturbation. The older I get, the less worried I am about it in terms of being "serious". It's a normal (bell curve normal) part of growing up. We ALL investigate our bodies. So, friend. As far as I can tell, you are just about as normal as they come. So lighten up.

The law of chastity is NOT about shaming sexual feelings and behaviors. And it's NOT about suppressing them either. It is about bridling them. That means that our sexual feelings are obedient to us, instead of us becoming obedient to them.

We all were given a body when we came to earth. And for most of us, this human body is a sexual one. In addition, God gave us a sexual stewardship. In my experience, learning to master the sexual passions is a lot like riding a bike. You gotta get the feel of the balance, and then you can operate the vehicle appropriately. And that means getting OK with sexual feelings and sometimes sexual mistakes.

As I read your OP, I feel that you are stuck in a thought pattern about sexuality that is stifling and shame producing, and something that really won't serve you in your life. Perhaps a little marriage will help. Maybe not. Just know that masturbation isn't the end of the world. It just means you are a human with another regular everyday opportunity for growth.

I want to add one vote for telling your sweetheart. BUT, before you do, get ok with yourself and this minor mistake and clear about the non-serious nature of this mistake. Trust me! You are not the first priesthood holder to do this. And you won't be the last. Forgive yourself and open your mind to a less rigid view of this kind of sexual behavior. Understand how this failure is a really a fall forward towards building your bridling skills. Then, do go and discuss it with her. It's an awesome opportunity to discuss sexuality together and to build trust by sharing life experiences with each other. If your sweet heart gets freaked out, don't react by feeling shame or beating yourself up. Be patient and breath. Ask her questions about why she is reacting they way she is. See if the two of you can grow together as you talk.

AND THEN...like others have said...relax and forget about it.

Best wishes.