Should I talk to the bishop?

zooza · #1 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 02:25 PM

So a few months ago I did something wrong but wasn't sure if it was wrong enough to have to talk to the bishop. But the idea of being unrepentant horrifies me so I told him. He didn't "dismiss" it per se, but called it a "hiccup" and basically went on to give me the impression that I would have been just fine repenting on my own and didn't need to talk to him. He told me that if it happened in the future that it would be okay if I took care of it "on my own".

I might sound crazy, but I recently did this wrong thing again. I feel so guilty! It was nearly identical in nature to what happened before. I feel like it's too bad to not tell the bishop. Of course, no one ever WANTS to have to talk to the bishop but I feel so unsettled about it. Again, i just know it was wrong and I don't want to unrepentant.

Any thoughts?

Misshalfway · #2 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 02:28 PM

What is it that you think you need from the bishop that you aren't getting through private repentance?

zooza · #3 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 02:39 PM

That is a great question. A few things:

1. Punishment for something I feel really bad about. Maybe "justice" would be a better word.
2. Assurance that my repentance is acceptable to God.

Misshalfway · #4 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 03:13 PM

Yeah. Thanks. That helps.

It sounds like to me you have two problems. The first being the sin itself, but the next being the way you are feeling about yourself because you sinned in this way.

I don't know what it is you've done. And maybe it's not important. You say you feel "really bad" about it. Sounds like it's hard for you to love yourself when you make mistakes. But it doesn't sound like the "godly sorrow" the scriptures require for repentance. This sounds like something else....like shame and self loathing.

Sounds like you only know how to view your mistakes through the eyes of shame and that punishing is the only thing that will purge the wicked out of you or that will make you feel that you've atoned your way back into good standing.

That sounds painful .... and sad .... and rather ineffective if you ask me.

Would you be open to looking at yourself and your repentance a different way?

Backroads · #5 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 03:13 PM

Your bishop might be right, it might be something you can handle on your own and you have his approval.

And yet... you sound like you need a little extra support. I would ask if he would be willing to meet with you again, just for that little boost.

pam · #6 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 03:30 PM

Just like I tell everyone else that comes to this site and asks that question.

If it is bothering you enough to come and ask random internet people, then talk to your Bishop. Let him reassure you and guide you.

skippy740 · #7 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 04:27 PM

If you have to ask, then just do it.

Misshalfway · #8 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Backroads

Your bishop might be right, it might be something you can handle on your own and you have his approval.

And yet... you sound like you need a little extra support. I would ask if he would be willing to meet with you again, just for that little boost.

I love this post. It's so....gentle.

I guess I just worry that the OP sees going to the bishop as punishment. Maybe I'm wrong about that.

Bethie · #9 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 04:53 PM

If I felt the way you do, I would speak to the Bishop. Make your repentance and then ask for a Priesthood blessing to give you the strength and determination to resist this
re-occurring "hiccup". You will feel better and come away with increased power!

skippy740 · #10 (**permalink**) 08-20-2012, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misshalfway

I love this post. It's so....gentle.

I guess I just worry that the OP sees going to the bishop as punishment. Maybe I'm wrong about that.

Well... depending on how well behaived you were as a student, being called to the Bishops office can feel like going to the Principal's office!